What we’re talking about – working, parenting priorities, self-harm, odds and ends

School is out so news and current events aren’t in the forefront in the world of my teens (now 14 and 17.) We’re still talking about serious issues.

I’m going to cover a lot of issues right now, some related and some not. Just what we’re talking about.

“There aren’t any Vampires my age.” That is from Clara who starts high school in the fall. Actually it isn’t fall. They start in August. Anyway, no there are only a few Vampires in the new freshman class. Three. There are going to be 8 in her brother’s senior class. There are another 8 in the junior class. Six in the Sophomore class. I remind her that her school (with a total of 2,400 students) has a large Vampire population, not to mention 6 Werewolves.

My child isn’t complaining really. She has more friends than any girl I’ve ever met. Funny and smart and observant, she is always aware of the world around her. Part of that is being a Vampire. A lot of that is just being Clara.

The scary things about being a teen are not lurking in dark shadows of the night. The kids speak of scary things that are very human.

With the 13-15 year old girls, and boys, the talk is of self harm. This is kids who hurt themselves – mostly cutting. I can’t tell you why they do this. I’m not a professional in this area. I can tell you things I hear from the kids.

The girls they know who have self harmed have parents who aren’t there for them. They might live in comfortable homes and dress well, but nobody is really there. The parents are too involved with new boyfriends, financial problems, new families, problems with other family members, step parents who don’t accept them. The main thing is that the parents don’t listen. They don’t want to because it is uncomfortable.

No woman wants to hear that her new husband loves his biological children more than the child of the deadbeat his wife used to be married to. Nobody wants to hear how critical his is of his step-daughter. Nobody wants to hear how she feels like the step child of fairy tales but with no happy ending in sight.

I don’t understand how a woman can marry a man who does not love her children. I don’t understand how a man can marry a woman who resents his kids from his previous marriage. Why get married? How could you do that to your own child?

In my opinion, and I will be judgmental because this is MY BLOG and I can be…in MY opinion when you have a child that child comes first. I don’t mean how much money you spend, I mean the mental and physical well-being of that child. It is YOUR JOB, your #1 job for the next 18 years to love, protect and raise that child. It is your job to listen to that child. It is your job to guide that child so that he or she will grow up to be they best person they can be, confident and prepared.

I also saw that most of the moms we know work. Their kids are well-adjusted and SMART. They are ready to take on the world. Working moms ROCK. The fact that a mother works means that she sets a good example for her children. They learn the value of work, they learn independence, they learn that there is a life ahead of them. AND their mothers spend so much quality time with them that the issue of TIME is not an issue. Working moms spend A LOT of time with their kids. It isn’t an issue anymore. I get so sick and tiered of those who try to make it an issue.

Last night they all went to the local water park for the night-time session. That is one more sun free activity! Yipee!

We saw World War Z. Great movie. Brad Pitt proved once more what a good actor he is. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie he has been in that I haven’t liked. But back to Zombies – it was fun. It was yucky. It was scary. It was tense. The kids acted like real kids. It wasn’t the ripping flesh chain saw sort of Zombie movie. Read the book, see the movie, good story.

The weather has finally cooled off from triple digits so everyone is more comfortable.

The kids have started to watch Catfish again. Same old train wreck. But there again, kids watch it and wonder “Who gets involved in serious online relationships love with someone who won’t meet them in person?”

The Vampire Ball is coming up in August. Last year we went overboard with the costumes. We’re sort of behind this year and not sure what we’ll be doing. Vintage? Vintage with a twist.

We have a road trip coming up soon too. A Vampire road trip. Really, this isn’t just something I’m making up for this blog. I hope we can share the experience with you.

So I will end with one of my famous bulleted lists…here is is…

  • Your kids come first – that doesn’t mean spoiling them, it means ALWAYS being there for them.
  • If you have them (children) love them.
  • If you have them (children) protect them.
  • If you have them (children) listen to them. REALLY listen to them. Hear them. Take the few extra minutes to try to understand them.
  • Your child is always more important than your sex drive.
  • Your child is more important than your romantic fantasies.
  • ALL of your children are important, not just the smartest, not just the ones you have by your favorite spouse, not just the youngest or oldest or whatever. All kids deserve ALL OF YOU.
  • Have fun with your kids.
  • Raise your child to be the person you always wanted to be.
  • Every single day tell your child “I love you.”
  • And always, talk with your kids about anything and everything. Keep those lines of communication open.
  • Listen to their dreams and never ask “Why would you want to do that?” Don’t be a dream killer.
  • It isn’t rocket science.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

2 thoughts on “What we’re talking about – working, parenting priorities, self-harm, odds and ends

  1. Pingback: What we’re talking about – working, parenting priorities, self-harm, odds and ends | West Coast Review

  2. Pingback: The Secretary | Vampire Maman

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