Alters of Love

In honor of Day of the Dead (Dia de Muertos) my brother Andy builds shrines for people he has known, especially for Isadora, a woman he loved for almost 40 years. He puts out photographs, small items that were hers – a pair of lace gloves, her fan, earrings, a poem, a perfume bottle that has long lost it’s scent. The shrine is sprinkled with marigolds and always two glasses of wine so he can drink to her happiness on the other side. And on November 3 he’ll put it all away.

Isadora was offered the chance to live beyond the normal human lifespan. She loved my brother and lived with him as his wife. They hobnobbed with robber barons, welcomed in the 20th century, made music together, traveled the world and he stayed with her and loved her as she grew old. But she always said no to his offers of becoming like him.  Honestly, I’ve told him, most people don’t want to become Vampires, even when they love one of us with all of their heart and soul.

But Andy never gives up hope.

My children and I went to a Day of the Dead display in Sacramento. It was a festive event in a midtown parking lot. Families had set up ofrendas (alters) to honor loved ones. It was not a sad occasion but a place to celebrate and remember. The sugar skulls and skeleton images mixed with photographs and flowers was so matter of fact and well, nice.

On the way home we talked about school mostly. There here and now is on the minds of teens. Relationships and jealously was on the agenda. Why do girls get mad if another girl talks to their boyfriends and why do the boys put up with it. No self-confidence, no self-control, no self-worth, they had their theories and opinions. High School relationships are complex and fleeting. My son was always a flirt and more of the romantic so I worried more. My daughter is more pragmatic and not looking for the drama of love right now.

They asked if I minded if they played their music. Of course not.

I wonder if they’ll question their loves or mourn them the way my brother does, or if they’ll fall in love with anyone they can’t be with forever, or even fall in love forever. For some loves do last forever, even with we can see it or feel it anymore.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman