True confessions: Bahahahahha. All kidding aside I thought I was going to write about that subject tonight. It is always fun to just spill it all out or talk about those who do. But I don’t think I will. It is already too hot out (105F) so you’ll have to wait. And you thought I was going to spill it all right here and now. No, unfortunately not tonight.
My ghost has been gone. You know, the ghost who comes around. I used to not like ghosts. I still don’t like them. In fact, I don’t always like the ghost who comes around and bothers me from time to time, but… I don’t know where he went.
I went outside on the night of July 10 and looked for him. Had he been alive it would have been his 55th birthday. Sometimes I imagine him as a stylish middle aged man in the prime of his life. He will be a 26 year old ghost forever, or maybe forever. I don’t know. Nobody knows.
The next time I see him, if I see him, I will open a nice bottle of wine, something rich and red, and pour him a glass. No, he can’t drink it but he can smell it and savor the beautiful aroma.
In the shadows between, it isn’t all that dark. It isn’t all that scary. For those who live in the shadows – the ghosts, the Vampires, the Warlocks, the Werewolves and to those we shall not name, we can also be afraid. The main fear is just being alone. Of course we love our solitude but we want to share it.
Most Vampires I know are romantics. That is a given. Most Werewolves are cautious and hard working. Most ghosts are angry and seeking the warmth of the living. I guess that describes most people – living or not or in-between.
Like my ghost, there are always those people who come in and out of our lives. Sometimes they’re so much part of our hearts and souls and who we are, then they vanish. It is the wrong time or place sometimes. Or sometimes circumstances are just a mess of confusion. Sometimes we’re too young to know what to do with opportunities. Sometimes we grow up and move on. Sometimes people move, get married, make stupid choices, or sometimes they die. But even those who remain alive become ghosts in a way – in our hearts and heads and souls. Sometimes they haunt us and sometimes it is just a sweet memory.
I’m just musing on not “what might have been,” but more on who and what is important. More of who is important here and now. Or maybe I should consider that … I have no idea. Just thinking. Just musing. After all this is “musings of a modern Vampire mom.”
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman