Learning from mistakes

No need to wax and wane poetically… I was clueless when I was young. I was totally, completely and absolutely clueless. There are large chunks of my younger life that I just try to forget.

But I’m glad I didn’t, not completely, because it has made me a better parent.

Why?

Because I have LEARNED FROM MY MISTAKES.

Everybody, say it out loud, all together: I HAVE LEARNED FROM MY MISTAKES.

So when it comes to raising kids I knew I didn’t want my children to be clueless. I didn’t want them to sputter and flounder and feel utterly hopeless and alone. I didn’t want them to feel like dreams and achieving goals is not a fantasy.

Have you ever had someone in your life that you just want to smack because they keep doing the same stupid things over and over and over? Usually that involves romance or jobs or everything.

No matter who or what you are you can’t continue to live in a la la land and be an immature moron forever. It isn’t cute. It isn’t smart. It isn’t safe.

Sure nobody, including me, does everything right all of the time. We live with all sorts of fears. We have different comfort zones. Nobody said it was going to be easy.

But if you have kids you can give them the tools they need to get a good start in life. Sure they have to make their own mistakes, but don’t you want to send them out in the world prepared knowing they’ll have some support. You are the elder. Yes, forget your age phobia, you should have the wisdom to share and support the youngsters in your life.

My greatest fear is that my children will flounder. A lot of doors used to slam in my face. I have shown my kids that you can kick down those doors. You can go around. You can get in through a window. You can yell FUCK YOU and go to a better door. OK maybe not yell the F bomb but you know what I mean. You can quietly think it – then go kick ass, even if you do it quietly.

If you know a young person all it takes is a kind word. All it takes is sharing a book, a story from your life, a URL to an interesting website, or a little of your time. It makes a difference. A small gesture can make the difference between a young person feeling alone and isolated to feeling empowered and hopeful.

As for romantic mistakes… my advice is GET A CLUE. When it goes bad cut your losses. Alway leave making everyone think it was YOUR CHOICE even when it wasn’t. Move on. Keep an open mind. If the situation is toxic you need to leave. And don’t do it again. No. Don’t. Just don’t.

Another thing I have to mention. Teach your kids to like themselves. They need to embrace who they are. So many kids feel compared to others or compare themselves to other. You know who the others are – those kids who always seems smarter, prettier, stronger, better at everything. But you know, they aren’t all that. They just believe they are smart, pretty, strong and good at stuff.

So, yeah, maybe later I’ll post more pathetic young Juliette stories. It isn’t all that bad. Maybe just to me.

UPDATE: Yesterday I posted about my old dog Jasmine. She is doing a lot better today. She was perky and wagging her tail. Good dog. Thank you everyone for your kind words.

Your assignment for today:

  • Tell your kids to LEARN from their mistakes.
  • Learn from YOUR mistakes.
  • Pass that information on to your children.
  • Hug your kids.
  • Talk with your kids.
  • Love your kids.
  • Don’t be stupid (again.)
  • Hug your dogs and cats.
  • Kiss a Vampire.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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