Liza got out of her car and rattled her keys at the flock of turkeys in her front yard. She counted ten. Almost a dozen turkeys to dig up her bulbs and uproot her daylilies. Damn prehistoric idiots. They weren’t even native. Someone had the bright idea of bringing them into the state during the early 1960’s for hunters.
She popped the trunk of her car and grabbed a bag of groceries. From the street she heard someone loudly clearing her throat. Liza turned around to see her neighbor Ashley.
Ashley stood there in her yoga pants tightly covering her impossibly skinny hips. A bored looking baby, a child who never smiled, was perched on one of Ashely’s nonexistent hips. Two other small children wearing matching blue sweatsuits stood next to her with blank faces. A perfectly lacquered nail tipped the finger Ashley pointed at Liza.
“How dare you frighten the Turkeys off. They have every right to be in your yard,” said Ashley. “Besides, Halo, Winston, and Irma love to watch them. Don’t you babies?”
All three of the children continued to give Liza blank stares. She expected Ashley’s spawn would start to spit blood as their eyes turned black.
“Go away Ashley,” Liza said.
Ashley puffed out her cosmetically enhanced chest and said, “I’m going to report you to the County.”
“For shaking my keys at the turkeys? You’re fucking crazy Ashley.”
“How dare you say the F word in front of my children!”
“How dare you have children. Seriously, people like you shouldn’t breed,” said Liza as she went into her house and closed the door on Ashley and her creepy kids.
For the next few weeks Ashley and her husband tormented Liza in odd passive aggressive ways.
Liza’s 17 year old son found post it notes on his car telling him that he should stop his mother from abusing animals. Whenever Liza’s 14 year old daughter would be in the front yard Ashley would ask if she was being abused by her mother. Liza’s husband was questioned about Ashely’s husband asking if he had guns in the house and if he was afraid Liza would use them on the turkeys.
Soon after that Ashley’s husband, a pale man with a man bun, started to make comments to Liza’s about how mothers who loved their children didn’t work outside of the home. Liza’s husband told Ashley’s husband that he was proud of his wife and her career as a CPA and that their children were exceptional. He also added that their children smiled.
The comments about Ashley’s landscaping, her weight, her children, her lifestyle, and her cruel treatment to animals continued to pour in from Ashley, both in verbal and written form.
Then one night Liza and her family heard screams from the house next door. Stay inside Liza’s husband told their children. Liza made sure all of the doors were locked.
A few minutes later they could hear sirens then saw the flashing lights of the Sherriff’s cars. Liza’s children looked out the window and were excited to report that the K-9 units had arrived with not one but three large German Shepard Dogs.
An officer came around telling people to stay in their homes until further notice.
The following morning the Coroner’s van came to take the bodies away.
Liza was horrified at what had happened. But then, as the Coroner’s van pulled out of the driveway next door Liza smiled and rattled her keys.
Thanks for stopping by. Come back next week for another new tangled tale.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Vampire Maman 