First posted here in 2015. I’m reposting today in remembrance of Robbie Coltrane who brilliantly played Hagrid in the Harry Potter Movies.

LITTLE HAGRID

My husband Teddy and I have been invited to a Harry Potter themed party on October 30th.

First of all I need to say that my children never read the Harry Potter books. We tried. They didn’t like reading the books. I didn’t like reading them.

Call us uncultured morons but we liked the movies a lot so we know who the movie characters are.

It was the language that bothered my kids. It was too British. It was too fussy. My kids are fans of American authors. I loved British authors when I was young but I’m not my kids. And yes, I know your kids LOVED the books as if they were all the books of the Holy Bible, but that wasn’t our experience. Right now my daughter is loving Nathaniel Hawthorne and John Green. But seriously, you don’t need to leave a comment that you love the Harry Potter Books. I also can’t stand Little Women.

So back to the party. Teddy claims he hates dressing up to parties. However, when he does dress up he steals the show and becomes the life of the party.

When I was 7 months into an 8 month pregnancy I went to a Gilligan’s Island party as a pregnant Mary Ann. I also once went to a party as a princess dressed up like a New England Fisherman. I’ve been space aliens with a costume made of kitchen utensils, and I’ve gone to most parties as a dead girl. Last Halloween I was a Vampire (ha ha ha no kidding.)

But Harry Potter? Really? Mind you this is an adult party too. Naked Harry Potter?

Teddy didn’t have any ideas. I told him to wear a suit (because he is smoking hot  sexy in a suit) and go as the Minister of Magic. He shrugged.

I was digging through a drawer looking for my Nook charger (people around here steal it for other devices) and found a brown dreadlocks wig Teddy had worn as part of a hippy costume. He also wore it for his snowboarder costume (complete with a “will work for pot” sign.)

Then the light bulb went off in my head. I’d get a beard, wear the wig and go as Little Hagrid. I showed Clara (age 16) and she laughed and laughed and laughed. I showed Teddy and he said, “no.” I might have well be standing in front of Grumpy Cat.

Clara and I laughed about Little Hagrid for the next two days. Teddy still said, “NO”.

It is my fault for marrying someone who is always serious. Oh right, we’re Vampires, we’re supposed to be serious and grown up all the time. Screw that.

So I put the wig back on and said I’d be Hermonie. I picked up a pencil and shouted, “MAGICUS DOGUMOUS.” The child laughed so hard she fell off the couch. No laughs from the man.

Then the husband tells me this is a classy and serious party. What would people think of us? Excuse me? It is a Harry Potter Party. I told him I’d find a blonde wig and be the bitch in the pink suit. I don’t remember her name. She had a lot of cats so I’ll carry a creepy stuffed cat with me.

Teddy said, “we’ll see.”

Yes, we will see. In the meantime I’m going to be Little Hagrid on October 31, despite the fact that we’ve been invited to a Zombie themed party.

Clara and I will be laughing about Little Hagrid for a good long time – because that is what we do.

We also push Teddy to his limits so it was time to put up the wig and be serious…or pretend to be serious.

And you know, the sexy costume is far over rated. I can always be a sexy Vampire. I AM a sexy Vampire.  But I can’t always be Little Hagrid.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman