The idea of love letters…sometimes might not be the right idea

“I still love the idea of love letters, but…”


“You know.”

“I know,” I said to my 26 year old son.

He recently broke up with someone. It wasn’t as if they were together long enough to even have a much of a relationship. They looked good together but that was about it. Turning heads because you’re so attractive, times two, is fun for a while, but if that is all you have it just isn’t enough.

Their lifestyles were just too different. He is sad, but not devastated. He’ll be fine. I guess he really isn’t even that sad. The biggest loss from this relationship is his favorite sweater that she spilled red wine on. He can usually get stains out but this was cotton and the stain set in, and it doesn’t matter at this point.

In the past, when he was younger, he’d always write love letters to girls he liked. This one wasn’t the type who’d appreciate love letters, or funny pictures drawn on cocktail napkins, or poetry. That is OK. We all have our own quirky things that make the chosen few appreciate us. Or maybe chosen is the wrong word. Sometimes it is just all random, and comes to us without anyone choosing. It just happens.

So he never wrote her a love letter. It didn’t mean he never started one, but I didn’t ask him if he did. He just never had a reason to give her one. I’m going to assume she never had a reason to give him a love letter either.

My cat is missing the only feline companion he has ever known. She was here when he arrived as a kitten. They were together for almost 13 years and now she is gone. She passed away on Monday. Today is Thursday, or the wee hours of Friday. He is in mourning.

Each day he looks for her. Each day he is my constant companion, never leaving my side when I am home. He sits where she sat, but only briefly, just in case she returns.

Before she was gone he slept on the foot of our bed. Now he sleeps downstairs, just in case she returns.

He and the dog knew she was not the same. They would sit with her in the winter sunshine on the back deck, knowing she was frail, and should have not been alone. He would sleep near her at night. As always he never slept with her. But now he slept near here to make sure she wouldn’t be alone.

He talks to me constantly, to make sure I hear him, and that I will not leave him. He has been in my shadow for the past almost 13 years, but now he is my shadow.

I think about love, and loss, and broken hearts, and how all of these things work their way into our lives. It is what I write about. Most of the traffic on this blog come from my sage advice on love and loss. I know enough, and have studied all of these things to fill volumes. Yet, I can only give comfort to a sweet cat who already doesn’t like change.

I’m not even going to imagine what he would write to her.

Sometimes someone is around for a short period and you remember them forever. Sometimes you forget them. The amount of time isn’t important. It is the quality of time.

Love letters say on paper words that we want to last. Or at least in my rule book of love that is one of the main reasons we write them.

Love letters also don’t have to be romantic. There are different kinds of love. There are different kinds of loss.

So I guess that concludes my revere on this subject for tonight. It is almost 1:00am and I have other things to take care of right now.

Stay safe. Talk to your kids. Pet your cats and let them make biscuits, and talk to your about their day, and sing the songs of their people in the wee hours of the morning. Give hugs. Give support. And of course, kiss a Vampire – you’ll thank me for it later.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Oscar the cat – just because he is so cute.


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