Short Story Sunday: The Breakup (and extremely short Vampire story)

For the past 145 years Andy had been asking James not to proposition his sister.

James propositioned almost every woman he ever met, but that was something that one is not supposed to do to one’s best friend’s sister.

Thank goodness she was not here this weekend because Andy just didn’t want to deal with it. A woman James was seeing had just broken things off with him, in a most unfortunate and mean way, so James was in prime shape to be an asshole.

“So what do you want to do today?” Andy asked his friend.

“I don’t quite know,” said James. “Maybe find comfort in the cold arms of a Vampire beauty, or in the warm arms of a hot blooded mortal vixen.”

“I meant which art museum do you want to go to today, or do you want to go for hike along the beach? Or both?”

“Museums. I don’t want to go out hiking in the rain. Museums are full of women. All kinds of women.”

“And children, and men, and all kinds of people who don’t want to have sex with you.”

“Oh you are cruel.”

“You’re disgusting. How old are you? Come on James, you aren’t some teenage boy trying to deal with out of control hormones.”

“She broke my heart,” said James.

“But not your brain. Grab your jacket. Let’s go.”


“The John Sanger Sargent show. There are plenty of women in the paintings for you to drool over.”

“You have a point there. Thanks for putting up with me,” said James to his dearest friend. “What would I do without you?”

“I’m sure you would have been murdered by now if I hadn’t been around. I’ll drive. Let’s go.”

~ end

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