Today I was driving around with my dog. We weren’t randomly driving. I went to the nursery to get some plants. Anyway, I was listening to an interview on the radio. Trigger warning – I’m going to get snarky.
The woman had written an article about how, at age 49, she was disappointed that her career wasn’t what she thought it should have been. She had a husband and two kids. She had done all kinds of great things career wise. AND she was ONLY 49. I get what she was saying but honey you were screaming “privilege” way above and beyond what you should have been.
Most people are “good on paper” but don’t always feel they are recognized for what they do, or haven’t quite gotten where they want to be. We all feel like that from time to time. Just don’t get on NPR and fucking whine about it.
We hear a lot about “white privilege” and this lady was the poster child. I usually don’t get this aggravated about shit like this. Maybe it was her voice. Maybe it was the “poor me” attitude. Maybe it was my wanting to say, “bitch you’ve won writing awards and you’re on NPR.”
Yes, I’ve whined too about stuff, but I hear WAY TOO MANY well to do people complaining about their own life choices IN PUBLIC.
Most of our mothers, unless we’re in reality TV, have cautioned up about airing our dirty laundry in public. Don’t air your petty angst in public either unless you REALLY have something important to say.
I don’t know why this got to me. Take that back. I do know why it got to me. Not everyone has flexible choices in their jobs or careers. Not everyone has a successful spouse. We are all scrambling to support our families and ourselves.
That said, over half the people I know make mid-life career changes. Many people have two, three, six, different careers over a lifetime.
Yes, we all complain. God knows I’ve felt many times like I’ve not only missed the boat, but fallen off the dock into a shark and jelly fish infested bay. But it passes, and I do better. I reinvent myself, but stay myself. It is what I do. It is what a lot of people do. We don’t become insufferable bores and go out in public to say boo hoo and how awful it is for us.
Almost everyone I know has changed careers and/or reinvented themselves time after time, again and again and again.
I know so many people who’ve had it much harder than I can ever imagine, and they have kept changing and evolving and they’re happy. They had no breaks, so they made their own breaks. I have so much admiration for them, and almost everyone I know. They don’t have time to stop and whine.
Celebrate those changes. And hell no it isn’t always easy. It can be extremely painful and heartbreaking. But just keep going.
So what if you miss your exit, you just take another one, or turn back. Don’t just stop and let a big truck run into you. Don’t ever stop.
I’m good on paper. I’m proud of that paper. It doesn’t matter if anyone sees it, or knows what I’ve done, or reads my books, or my stories. I’ve done things that have inspired others and I’m proud of that. Mainly I’ve learned, and continue to learn how to inspire myself. I’ve also learned to just shut the fuck up and stop whining.
So stop complaining and crank up the music. Take Another Road. Don’t Stop Believing. Let the Good Times Roll.
And that is it.
Stay safe. And kiss a Vampire – you’ll thank me for it later.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Vampire Maman 