I realize a new Vampire film came out on December 25 with all the cringe worthy sexual fantasies expected from such a film. And yes, as Vampires we do cringe at a lot of cringe worthy story lines, epecially in stories that aren’t horror fantasies.
“I’m not reading this anymore.” Lola said as she slammed closed her book. It was from a best-selling author, but into the recycle bin it went.
“Boring?” I asked.
“Not at all. It is a fantastic story, but it is sprinkled with sexist fantasies of a middle aged male author. The protagonist, a man in his late 50’s or early 60’s lost his son and wife to a horrible accident. The wife is still alive but scarred and mentally unstable so of course he divorced her. He marries a woman who is of course beautiful and 30 years his junior. She is also smart and successful. They have two children, but she doesn’t have stretch marks, and her C/D breasts are still perky and beautiful. They have sex about 5 times a day, something he tells his friends about. It just makes my skin crawl. In real life most of his friends would think he was cringy. They would think even worse of her.”
“What about you and Cody?” I knew of the age difference between my Great Great Great Grandmama Lola and her on and off “friend” Cody.
“First of all we’re Vampires so those rules don’t apply. Of course, unless it is adult teenage looking Vampires seeking out real teenagers. THAT is against all rules of Vampire decency. That is nothing but child abuse. It is also fraud pretending to be a teenager to get sex or love or anything else from a child. Cody is an adult. He was an adult when he became a Vampire. He also isn’t going to age out. You know what I’m talking about.”
“I do,” I said. “I think it is cringy too. Both the teenager with the old teenage Vampire, and the regular old guy human male with the young beautiful woman who just flies into his bed. Sorry I mentioned you and Cody.”
“It’s ok.”
“I like Cody.”
“You’re the reason Cody is still alive, as a Vampire.”
“Wanna go for a walk.”
Lola smiled and grabbed her cane and coat. There was a break in the storm, and we needed the fresh air.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Vampire Maman 
Hmmm… you know, it’s odd, why Vampires thinking about ‘normal’ Vampire stuff and how things are done, without considering ‘age’ in a human way, everything is fine. The moment a human chimes in, bringing up the human way of thinking about age gaps, things start getting ‘kinky’ the best, and ‘really creepy’ the worst. And some ‘humanoids’, no matter cold- or warm-blooded, simply have a horrendously perverted fantasy.