Short Story Sunday: Binge Watch

Sometimes even Vampires get bored on rainy Sunday afternoons. Andy knew that well, so he invited his friends over to binge watch. He’d gone out for snacks and come back to find everyone lounging around drinking wine and talking about other things.

“We tried to watch some Vampire shows but they were all so gloomy,” said Jayne.

“Don’t forget bad dubbing. There is nothing as bad as a mouth that doesn’t match up with the words,” said James.

“I dated a guy like that once,” said Elizabeth as she scratched Andy’s cat under it’s chin.

A swirl of color blasted through the air, then landed on the back of the couch. Six tiny fairies in pastel colored sat with crossed arms. “The Notebook. We want to watch The Notebook.

“No,” said Andy. “You’ve watched that at least fifty times. Let’s go upstairs. I’ll put on Bridesmaids, or Enchanted, or something else you haven’t seen yet.” He looked back at his friends as the fairies swirled around his head and pulled at his arms. “I’ll be right back.”

“We’re not watching Moonlight again,” yelled Jayne at Andy as he went up the stairs. “Alex O’Loughlin is absolutely gorgeous, but we’ve seen every episode five time at least.”

Andy settled the fairies in front of the upstairs TV in his office to watch Rebecca, then 27 Dresses.

Downstairs again he poured nuts in bowls, cut up some apples, and uncorked a few bottles of blood. “How about the movie Moonlight?”

“I’ve heard it is really good,” said James.

Elizabeth had seen it but said she’d gladly see it again. As a whole Vampires are pretty agreeable.

The four friends hunkered down to watch the movie.

They knew nobody would ever make an honest movie about people like them.  Then again, who said movies had to be honest. It was just entertainment.

After the movie Andy went into the kitchen to make dinner. Vampires never ate in movies. Tonight he’d fix rare tri-tip and a dark leafy salad. None of them felt like going out in the thunder storm for fresh blood. In the movies the weather was always bad, and everyone always wore leather. He thought about his sister who wrote stories about Vampires. Nobody else knew they were based on real life. She wasn’t about to give away the fact she wasn’t like her readers.

He could hear familiar music. His friends had found something else to watch. Twilight Zone. Go figure. Andy smiled and continued to make the salad. Nothing like friends and an afternoon of binge watching.

~ end

 

 

 

 

Halloween Hotties: Movie Vampires

Countdown to Halloween with Vampires in the Movies.

I’m not a big fan of Vampire movies but I have to take off my hat and give a bow to the following Halloween Hotties!

George Hamilton – Love at First Bite (1979)

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Of course this is just for fun. This movie definately gets the award for silly fun. You gotta admit George Hamilton as a Vampire is a Halloween Hottie of the first order.

Frank Langella – Dracula (1979)

Definately a Halloween Hottie! Oh baby! Take me now, right here on the dining room table next to my laptop!

frankdracula

hot frank dracula

My sister-in-law Verity did say “I just can’t get the idea of opening my eyes and finding myself in bed with Richard Nixon.” OK thanks for those charming visuals Verity.

Kate Beckinsale as Selene – Underworld (2003)

Selene is the ultimate Halloween Vampire Movie Hottie. Hands down. No discussing it.

underworld

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“She reminds me of mom,” my brother Aaron said. “They could have based the character on her.”

I had to admit he was right. “But our mother has an entirely different view of Werewolves.”

“Pretty much,” I answered, thinking about my mom and her exploits. But then again, girls want to be like their mothers…or maybe they just want to be like Selene. I guess in my case it is both. But I’m not much like either one. Sure I can take down any Vampire Hunter or other evil force you throw at me, but, let’s just say I have a different style of going about it. That said, I’ll leave the dirty work to the professionals. Ahhh the joys of being a Modern Vampire.

Happy Almost Halloween! And don’t forget to check back this time next week for more Halloween Hotties!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Halloween Hottie #1 – Don’t miss it! Click here for Vincent Price.

Lost Boys, Aliens and America’s Got Talent (or an evening with my teenage Vampire son)

imagesSummer is here and so is this season of America’s Got Talent. Yes, it is back along with my weekly update about what your favorite Vampire family thinks of it and our opinions.

For those of you who are just recently following this blog – there is a history here. We did this last year. Usually we added cocktails too but Teddy isn’t here tonight so no cocktails (you’ll have to make your own).

Boardwalk, Santa Cruz, CA

Boardwalk, Santa Cruz, CA

Teddy is with Clara on the last field trip of Middle School – ever. They’re in Santa Cruz enjoying the beach and the boardwalk and touring UCSC. And yes, it IS where the movie Lost Boys took place, but that isn’t going to happen on this field trip. The Vampires we know aren’t like that (it is fiction). OK a few might be that nasty but not in our circles. And yes, in the movie they call the city something else be we all know it is Santa Cruz, CA.

So tonight it is just Garrett and me. We’re drinking virgin cocktails of fresh blood on ice with a sprig of mint and a dash of unsweetened cranberry juice. If you’re not a Vampire just try the cranberry juice and mix it with a little ginger ale with the mint. Good stuff (yes, we’re always thinking of keeping our Regular Human friends happy as you keep us.)

Garrett asked me what my favorite Vampire movie was. I don’t know. I don’t really like most Vampire movies (and don’t ask why. Just figure it out.) I guess Lost Boys. Then he asked about Werewolf movies. American Werewolf in London hands down winner. So what about Alien movies? Now that is a difficult one. I know Vampires and Werewolves but I don’t believe I’m ever met an alien (I’ve had my suspicions) but it would have to be District 9 and Close Encounters and ET and The Man Who Fell to Earth and Liquid Sky…but District 9 is brilliant.  And as everyone knows the one thing that gives me the hair stand up on the back of your neck willies is space aliens. It all started the first time I read War of the Worlds (when it first came out).

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So we’re watching America’s Got Talent and so far we’re impressed with the judges. The ladies are great (Heidi and Mel are darling.) And we all adore Howard and Howie. And you all know I adore Nick  – he is as cute as my cat Oscar.

 

 

My cat Oscar (as a kitten)

My cat Oscar (as a kitten)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So on to the acts…

We have a lot of rattlesnakes around where we live so I wasn’t too impressed with the snake guy. In case you’re curious a snake popped a balloon. My girl cat Gloria could do that (but she won’t.)

The country singer was ok. I didn’t see him. Just heard him. Just ok. He will not always be on my mind.

CATAPULT – remember that name. They were wonderful. Dancers who told a great mystery story through shadows and body movements. WOW. Expect to see more of them in the future. They have my vote. And of course we all remember that silly sickening sweet shadow dance troop from last year. These guys take it to the next level without all the annoying kids.

The three guys who danced to Singing in the Rain were absolutely darling. Good job guys (I didn’t catch your name because I was petting the cat.)

The guy with the blow up doll (it isn’t what you think) was fun. I definitely want to see more of him. Another fun act was the kid with the hat.

They had to show Chuck from the Bronx because he was exceptionally stupid eating peppers and snorting salt and sucking eggs. He sucked more than eggs. He just sucked.

Ten year old Anna Christine sounded like a seasoned 25 year old professional – the girl could sing. Oh my goodness. The House of the Rising Sun no less. Wow. She was good – she was amazing.

The 3 Penny Choir and Orchestra was so much fun that we laughed out loud. The did the Call Me Maybe song as a classical number. That was FUN. Really FUN. I want to see/hear more. A lot more.

The Pacific Boys Choir was nice and sweet.

Special Head was a weird bit of smoke and mirrors. I didn’t like him. Neither did Garrett. And his name sounds sort of nasty and creepy.

And just as he finished up I noticed a huge raccoon out on the deck eating the dog food. I have to respect our nocturnal friends. Creatures of the night have a special place in my heart. It ran off as soon as I turned on the light. And yes, I brought in the food dish. Don’t need a critter party out there tonight,

So back to the show…

Angela Hoover did a fine job with her impressions and comedy. We want to see her again. I’d like to see more women in comedy. I’ve always thought it would be fun to do stand-up. It is one of my secret dream jobs.

Tone the one hit wonder reminded me of the scene in the movie the Proposal when the grandma and the boss lady were dancing around the fire. It was that bad and not funny or cute like the movie. It was stupid. Nooooooooooo.

So that is our review for tonight. Happy Tee Vee watching. We make no excuses here for any of our opinions, taste in entertainment or life choices. We are what we are and we like what we like.

After it was over Garrett said, “Maybe the Elders should be on America’s Got Talent. Their voices are amazing.”

“Not a good idea. They might tell everyone they’re Vampires.” I had to be honest about it. I never know what those two old Vampires might do.

Garrett smiled. “Sure Mom, but who would believe them?”

I had to laugh. “You have a point there darling.”

So tune in later for more on Vampire Maman!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

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