Intentions – A Thanksgiving Story

Deep in the woods

Deep in the woods

Stay with me on this one…

After skate practice (roller) my daughter grabbed my purse for me and said “WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN THAT THING?”

I said “River rocks.”

She said, “I will never carry a purse and fill it full of crap.”

I told her that it was none of her business what I had in my purse or how much it weights.

And by the time we got to the car she said a gun in my purse would be heavy. Then I told her I didn’t have a carry permit and she said I didn’t need one. Yes, this is the 14 year old, but we have hypothetical conversations like this all the time so don’t worry about it. Anyway, she asked if she had a needle, like a knitting needle would that be considered a concealed weapon. I told her it was a matter of intent. Does she intend to knit a scarf or stab someone with her knitting needle? Intent is everything.

The the conversation moved on to bear spray. I could have bear spray without a carry permit, or at least I think I could, but hey, who is checking my bottomless bag of mystery and fear (what the kids call my purse.)

Clara said that bear spray would come in handy for the upcoming bear apocalypse. I wondered if bear spray would keep zombies away.

I’ve been up close and personal with a lot of black bears. They have run across paths I’ve hiked (with and without fish in their mouths). They’ve walked along beside me on trails (I kid you now, it was weird.) They have sniffed around my tent.

Grizzlies on the other hand are another matter. I’ve never seen one in the wild but I’ve come across their fresh prints. That even puts fear into the heart of the most hardened Vampire. Grizzlies CAN bite your head off. Really. No amount of bear spray is going to do the trick on a Grizzly. Yikes.

So the point of this, aside from the fact that we have a lot of silly conversations just for fun around here…is that a bear once lead my brother Val and I to an unusual place. It wasn’t our intent but it was where we were supposed to be, even though we were not supposed to be there.

It was 1932 and my brother Val and I were driving home for the holidays. We decided to drive rather than take the train. It provided us with more freedom and a chance to see some of the back roads of America. In 1932 almost everything was a back road compared to now.

Anyway, we packed up and took our Packard Dualcowl Pheaton on the road. What possessed me to wear silk and fur is beyond me now, but that is just how we did it in those days. Val as always looked dapper and totally relaxed. Val and I are less than two years apart in age and act and look too much alike to be taken as anything other than brother and sister.

So there we were driving on an dirt and gravel road with no name, through hills that are older than Vampires when something in our beautiful car blew and sputtered and stopped.

It was night, which is no big deal for us. We could see the eyes in the woods. No big deal. Woodland creatures respect as they respect all predators. Except there were bears who came cautiously close, black bears. We started to sing and the animals left. No need for bear spray, if we’d had bear spray.

“Now what?” I asked my brother. I was absolutely starving and needed food badly. Sure in a pinch an animal would do but human company would be nice. More than nice.

We walked down the road for a mile or two when we could smell the scent of human kind in the air and saw lights through the trees.

Then sounds. Mournful singing. Singing in weird monotone voices, pitched high and ancient sounding.

Country folk with age old songs that they handed down from generation to generation without benefit of written music or any written word. I was sure most of the singers couldn’t even write their own names.

A we came to the meeting house the door opened and an arm motioned for us to come in.

The room was full of folk, plain folk of all ages, singing with unified voices songs of the hills. They sang of life. They sang of lust and greed. They sang of love. They sang of God and the spirit that is deep in us all. They sang of all that they knew.

Then they looked at us in their poor clothing. We were rich city folk, but more than that.

“Don’t be afraid,” said a man who was obviously one of their leaders. “We know what you are. You’re people of the night. Show us your fangs.”

Val and I froze as they gathered around us. Then when our fear built up they started to sing.

We are all different
Children of the earth
God’s blessing
On us all
God’s blessing
On us all
There is no evil
Only fear
There is no evil
No evil here.

Then they sat us down and offered us their wrists. They told us stories of Vampires and spirits and Werewolves and ghosts. They told us of all creatures and of living in unity.

They said they’d welcomed us because we were lost. They invited us to join them at their Thanksgiving table. There would be fresh turkey and greens, cornbread and black eyed peas. There would be pie and root vegetables found in the forest. There would be kinship and understanding.

We stayed for the feast. And we talked of their kin and traditions. We also told them of our family.

They all wanted to touch us. They all wanted to share their blood with us. We sang the songs with them into the night. We learned their songs and they learned a few of ours – or at least some popular songs of the day.

Val and I slept through the day, and when night came again they walked us back to our car, which started just fine.

I think about those people with their bare feet and drab clothing. Their odd twangy voices that sang in unison like an unearthly wind or a chorus of lost angels.

And to this day Val and I are thankful. We never could find that road again and nobody we ever talked to knew of these folk we spent our Thanksgiving with. I’m sure they were real and not just ghosts in the woods. I’m sure this Thanksgiving one of their great grandchildren is listening to the story about the time those rich Vampires came to visit.

Thanksgiving isn’t just about who you want to be with, but maybe who you need to be with. We’re thankful for all of them. And thankful for the haunting memories of music and fellowship. Most of all we’re thankful for good intentions.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

1929 Packard

1929 Packard

Roadkill… I um, mean, where are we going to eat while we’re traveling?

roadtrip

Vampires usually don’t do fast food but sometimes we find a nice diner or a nice owner of a diner…

We’ll be taking a roadtrip across California and the American Southwest (Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico).

I gotta tell you, everything in my life has been so stressful lately, never mind the Zombies, it has all just had me over the top and to the edge so I am so looking forward to getting in the car and driving across four states (four BIG states).

When Vampires travel we have all sorts of things to take into consideration that other folks might not think about. During the next couple of weeks I’ll try to bring you tales from the road and travel tips for Vampire traveler.

What are we going to eat?

My daughter keeps asking this one. Of course we’ll have water and snacks in the car but…we’re Vampires so the question is WHO are we going to dine on while we’re out on the road.

Well…there are a lot of options

This guy looks interesting. Let's show him something REALLY scary!

Hitchhikers. But watch out for Zombies and Aliens. But if they look scary, just remember…we’re Vampires. Bahahahahaha.

Bikers are a good option because there are a lot of them and a varied menu.

Bikers. Bikers come in all shapes and sizes. There are the yuppie accountants and orthodontists bikers on their Gold Wings, there are the James Dean wanna bees, there are the hairy old grizz bikers, there are the Hell’s Angel types. And they’re easy. We like that. Good for those eat and run times.

Clueless Bimbos driving alone across the desert also make for a quick snack. I hope she has on sunscreen!

Bimbos. These gals are usually going to LA to be stars or Las Vegas to be strippers or breaking up with husbands or doing something sketchy. They’re fast and easy and usually have some interesting story. Vampires love these gals.

Truckers. HA. This one is just for fun - but you know ones like this can't run too fast and are an easy and fast snack.

Truckers. Truckers are like Bikers – there are a lot of different kinds. What makes them great is that they’re generally friendly and have their own trucks. That makes it especially easy for a nice evening sit-down dinner. And those truck stops brings them all together sort of like a grocery store for Vampires. It is pretty great.

THIS TRUCKER. Yes, this is more like it and fits in with a healthy diet.

Finding a baseball team on a bus is like a good casino buffet! Loads of yummy stuff and you can keep going back for more!

Baseball Teams! This time of year a traveler can look forward to busses FULL of healthy, young, good looking men. It is like one of those big all you can eat buffets at the casinos! What more could a Vampire on the road ask for? Not much except when we’re traveling out West…

Cowboys are always mighty tasty and a fun ride!

YES INDEED… what we’re really looking forward to are the COWBOYS! Just look at the picture. Need I say more. And if you’re lucky maybe he’ll take you for a ride or show you how he can tie things up.

Panic" at the Disco tour bus! We're heading for Las Vegas but we'll be happy to meet you on the road!

Wait, one more thing. This has to be the best. A Rock Band Tour bus. Everyone is on the road with tours this summer and we hope for a private show or two. My daughter hopes we see her favorites and pull them over for a little bite! Always a treat!

lizard

We tend to stay away from highway patrol men and women. They’re healthy and perfect for our needs BUT we have to respect the badge.

Also, stay away from lizards. If you get hungry eat a burger without the bun or bring some trail mix or cheese with you. Lizards are nasty.

We also stay away from old folks in motor homes and families in mini vans. Please don’t make me explain why.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman