A brief message about parenting failures, the Duggars, ignorance, and environmental issues from a Vampire Maman.

The biggest environmental threat to our planet is human over population. Period.

A few months ago I told my family that something in the Duggar family was going to come crashing down. I said there would be a tell all book written by one of the children. Someone would come out of the closet. Someone would crack.

This week TLC announced they were taking the show off of the air because the eldest son had mollested several girls when he was a teenager. No surprise there.

As a parenting blogger I always advocate spending time with your kids. I advocate listening to your children. I advocate letting them find their own interests, grow and fly.

The Duggar children don’t have that option. They are part of a factory, run by their parents, to produce and exploit their own children. The mother is obsessed on getting a higher and higher number of offspring. She doesn’t care that her children might not share all of their dreams with her. Her daughters are not allowed to dream. They too are destined to obey their parents and become baby factories. The sons are also told that they will have wives and hordes of kids. It is all about quantity not quality.

In any society, be it a family, a village or a country, where knowledge, ideas, free thoughts, and the equality of the sexes are not valued there will be a breakdown. Where there is no equality there will be anger, frustration, ignorance, violence and life will be a mindless existence.

In the culture of the Duggars, children must obey and be happy at all times. I’d rather my children love and trust me than obey me. I’d rather had children mind me and do what is right rather than obey. To me the word obey makes me think of violence – as in a man striking his wife or abusing a child because they do not obey.

When a group like the Duggars and their society is obsessed with sex and the dominance of males and the absolute chastity and innocence/ignorance of women when it comes to sex, bad things happen. Very bad things happen.

When people can’t freely choose who they love bad things happen.

When people can’t explore the world around them and see different points of view bad things happen.

Another show will start soon on TV about nauseously sweet people with a dozen musically talented kids. You might have seen them on America’s Got Talent last summer. It makes me sick just thinking of them. There is another family obsessed with fame due to their high fertility rate.

All families are different. Some are small and some are large. If you can pull off a large emotionally healthy and creative family then I’m behind you. If it is all about your needs to get that magic number then I’m against it. If having a large family is more about “family” than it is about your individual children then I am against it.

No good can come of reality TV shows featuring families. I wonder about creatures such as poor messed up Honey Boo Boo, and Kate with her eight exploited children. Will you be happy Kate when one of your kids writes that tell-all book? Will you care as long as there is a lot of money in the bank?

And for Mr. and Mrs. Duggar. I hope you are ashamed of yourselves, but then again people like you have no shame. You have no moral code except your own self-centered need to have attention and absolute control over your brood of fucked up children.

Shame on you.

If you’re new to this blog please see my page on what I believe and practice as a parent.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

The Presence of Evil

Halloween is coming up but the real world is filled with horrors that can rival any horror story or ghostly activity.

My friend and neighbor Kelly told me a story the other day that still sits in the pit of my stomach.

From Kelly:

With all of the news about child abuse I thought about a woman I knew who beat her child.

She joyfully told anyone who would listen, and she was the type who demanded an audience, that she had books on the subject.

Let me go back a bit…

She had never intended to have children but found herself pregnant. She was a triple A type personality, aggressive and always the center of attention. She was an expert at all things.

So into her life came a daughter. Unlike her aggressive mother, the child was quiet and meek.

That did not please the woman one bit. She couldn’t bond with this wonderful little child because the child did not live up to her expectations.

So she started to read books, because of course one MUST read parenting books to be an expert. She started to read books by people who advocated beating children. This was all based, she said, on what the Bible said. There was a culture of child beating, to beat the will out of children who did not live up to the expectations of their parents.

I grew up in a world where the Bible of Jesus was about love, not pain or control. Maybe my beliefs aren’t so mainstream.

This mother spoke in a gleeful voice of buying paddles. There were entire catalogs of paddles and other torture devices to be used on children. She attended seminars so she and her husband could learn how to properly beat a child and how to make them obey and force them to bend to the will of the parent.

A quiet meek and willful child has no chance against such monsters. Maybe the act of being willful was really the act of self preservation and fear.

She spoke of locking her child in a dark room. She spoke of missed meals. She spoke of forced activities. By that time a son had come along. The son was perfect and like his mother – he wasn’t quiet or meek. He didn’t need to be beaten. He was loved.

My daughter was about 8 months old at the time, so that would make the poor daughter of the woman I knew about 18 now. I wonder if she hates her mother. I wonder if she has run as far away from home if she can. Does she cut herself? Does she take drugs to numb her pain? Does she sleep with countless boys to feel loved? I wonder if anyone called CPS or if the father cared at all.

I should have said something. I should have done something. I should have told her that she was an evil bitch but the words failed me.

Of course this woman was like any “popular” girl at parties and well, it was all so vile and twisted that I never wanted to see her or speak to her again.

So that is it. I don’t even remember her last name. I remember her first name. I remember her face. I remember that I was in the presence of evil.

______________________________

I know this wasn’t a pretty story and we don’t have any answers. It was a story that needed to be told. I used my own words… next time I’ll record it or write it down exactly but I hope there will be no next time for a story like this one.

I will have happier things for you later. I promise.

And remember to talk to your child, listen, love, learn, hug, accept and cover your babies with kisses and accept them for who they are.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman