Heart & Soul: Vampires & Ghosts – More Musings from a Vampire Maman

butterflyClara said “It would be weird living in the White House with tours all the time. I mean, like, it would be weird hanging out at home and having a tour go by.”

I told my 14 year old that the White House was quite large and that I didn’t believe tours covered the private family quarters, except maybe some of the guest rooms like the Lincoln Bedroom. After a bit of discussion I explained that some people believe that Lincoln’s ghost still haunts the place.

“Why would he want to haunt people there?” The child asked. “He wouldn’t want to scare anyone.”

“Haunting isn’t always scaring. But he was murdered and that is why he is a ghost. Most ghosts are those who are killed before their time or murdered.”

More lessons in history.

School, that is High School has been uneventful this new school year. That is a good thing. Clara was asked to be on the Cross Country team (but turned it down.)  The teachers are all good now and getting to know her and appreciate the unique spirits of all of the kids. That is what teachers do. She is making a lot of new friends – a good thing.

Garrett is having the time of his life as a Senior looking forward to school and being on the top of the high school totem pole.

I found a note he’d written, in the dryer as usual.

No matter

No matter when

No matter where

No matter who you are with

No matter who I am with

We will always love

Each other

Because we are of the shadows

Children of the moon and stars

Darkness surrounds us

But light stays in our heart

And souls

Huh.

I  love Ione but her family is, well, not exactly the kind any Modern Vampire would want their son to marry into. Not her parents. Her parents are some of our best friends, but it is the community they used to belong to.

They were the kind of Vampires that inhabit nightmares. Their purpose in life, if you can call it that, is to be a predator. They don’t give back, they don’t have relationships of any kind with humans, they don’t care. They’ll sooner suck out your soul and let their own soul die than to be a part of human society. They are the undead and those without souls or at least that is what we (the Modern Vampires) say. It is hard to explain. Anyway… I can deal with them and can logically say that their lifestyle is their choice. They leave us alone, we leave them alone for the most part. Our paths cross. But I can’t trust them. And I won’t trust them around my Modern Vampire Children.

We all have had people like that in our lives.

Ione’s  mom Violet dropped her off and stayed to visit a while. She worried as well that those who live in the shadows with dead souls would come after her kids. I assured her that she was doing a great job with her girls and didn’t need to worry about it. But she’ll worry. So will I. We’re moms. Worry is what we do, even if we are Vampire moms.

I was going to write on something else, not the blog, the never ending book that scares me more than any Vampire or Werewolf or Ghost…

When I hear someone softly singing “Heart and Soul”, you know the song…

Heart and soul, I fell in love with you, 
Heart and soul, the way a fool would do, 
Madly… 
Because you held me tight, 
And stole a kiss in the night… 

Heart and soul, I begged to be adored, 
Lost control, and tumbled overboard, 
Gladly… 
That magic night we kissed, 
There in the moon mist.

Oh! but your lips were thrilling, much too thrilling, 
Never before were mine so strangely willing.

But now I see, what one embrace can do, 
Look at me, it’s got me loving you, 
Madly… 
That little kiss you stole, 
Held all my heart and soul.

I turned around to face the Ghost.

He gave me a smile that made me uncomfortable. “If I was human and you were human and we were both single…there in the moon mist, with your lips so thrilling…”

“What do you want?” I asked him. Damn he is annoying.

“You know I was murdered.”

“I figured. We’ve talked about this before,”  I answered. Sometimes I wonder what he did to deserve it other than being annoying and talking too much.

He put his hands down as if to touch me and I watched it go through my shoulder. “I don’t know who killed me,” said the ghost.

“If you find out will you go away?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know Juliette. I just don’t know. Weird how these things happen. And speaking of weird…”

Then he vanished as if someone had blown out a candle.

I swear, nothing gives a Vampire the creeps more than a ghost.  But on the other hand…

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Vampire Maman

Don’t haunt yourself (because real ghost are bad enough)

Let me tell you about ghosts.

I hate ghosts.

They’re sneaky dishonest depressed creatures that have neither body nor soul. They covet our lives and our love. When they come into our lives they cause nothing but annoyance like a dripping faucet or an Internet connection that never works right.

Or they can haunt you in the worst ways possible.

Ghosts feed on your fears and insecurities.

So I tell my kids that there are the ghosts that are disembodied unfortunates who covet our lives, but there are other ghosts that we create.

Those are the ghosts of our own lives and deeds.

Those are the events that we can’t let go of until they drive us insane or at least make us depressed and uneasy.

  • There are ghosts of romances and affairs of the past.
  • There are the ghosts of what could have been (one of the most dangerous ghosts we can create.)
  • There are ghosts of guilt.
  • There are ghosts of resentment.
  • There are ghosts of what might be if only…

I won’t expound on all of these points. But you know what they mean and you know how they are made and how they sit heavy on hearts and souls of both regular humans, Vampires and Werewolves.

It is wise that you warn your teens so they’ll be free of these things. Yes, these ghosts can weigh them down worse than any chains worn by Marley’s ghost in A Christmas Carol.  These ghosts will ruin relationships, jobs, school, success in life and happiness. You can’t afford to….

Wait a minute…I’ll be back….what the…what is he doing here?

“Look at you so full of yourself with advice for others. You’re such a know it all,” a voice said from over my shoulder.

“Go away,” I hissed at the Ghost looking over my shoulder. Damn him. I thought the nasty little bastard had gone for good.

“Bitch.”

“I know a great exorcist. Want to meet him?”

“Be careful Vampire or someone will put a stake through your heart.”

“At least I have a heart.”

“I would have expected more of you, I mean, maybe a little paranormal energy to boot me out of the room or something along those lines. But you just sit there with your laptop writing about bogus crap about parenting and your petty little words of half assed wisdom.”

I gave him the look. “You’re a ghosts with horrible ghosts of your own. I can’t even imagine the burden that must be. You really ought to just let them go.”

“I can’t imagine the regrets you must have Vampire. How old are you? A hundred and sixty?”

“One hundred and fifty-three. But no, I have no regrets. I’ve learned not to have personal ghosts. I’d advise you to do the same.”

“You advise me? There is nothing you can do for me.” He stood there, well sort of hovered.

I spoke to him again in a calm quiet voice. “I can do the scary paranormal stuff to make you go away, or if you want to talk about it I’d be glad to listen. Like you just pointed out I’ve been around for a while and like to think I have a little bit of life experience.”

I took a deep breath and put out my hand expecting it to go right through his heart but instead I touched something solid. He stood before me looking shocked as if unable to move. For the first time I could see his face as if he were alive. My ghost was younger than I thought, fine features, flawless skin, glossy black hair, eyes as blue as a morning sky. I could read him as if I was reading my own thoughts. If only for a few seconds I had him. I had the Ghost.

I’d broken into his mind. If he’d lived he would have been 53 years old now. He was 26 when he died, just a few weeks shy of his 27th birthday, a birthday he shared with me. His heart was full of regrets and anger and grief, too much for a man of his young age. But despite the fact it didn’t show on his face, he was old beyond his years. There was a woman, a betrayal, violence, and the vision of a fresh grave and his own new grave next to it surrounded by white flowers. There was heart-break and anger. Someone loved him very much. A large crowd gathered around. He tried to speak but couldn’t. I had a grip on him and wouldn’t let him go. There was a song playing in the background, at first Master of Puppets by Metallica, it was new that year, 1986, but there was another song. 1983, Duran Duran, Hold Back the Rain. What was going on? I wouldn’t have expected that but it came into my head full blast like from a car stereo on a cold raining night after a funeral and an argument. It was so random.

Yes we’re miles away from nowhere and the wind doesn’t have a name
So call it what you want to call it still blows down the lane
People tell me I haven’t changed at all but I don’t feel the same
And I’ve bet you’ve had that feeling too you can’t laugh all the time

And if the fires burn out there’s only fire to blame (hold back the rain)
No time for worry cause we’re on the roam again (hold back the rain)
The clouds all scatter and we ride the outside lane (hold back the rain)
Not on your own so help me please hold back the rain

“Stop.” he gasped and tried to break loose.

I took my hand away and he stood there looking at me in shock and horror. The temperature dropped at least 40 degrees. Ice crystals formed on the sleeve of my shirt. I took a breath and realized my fangs were out. I could almost taste the fear in him.

“What are you afraid of?” I whispered.

“I’m afraid of you Juliette.” And then he vanished without another word. I wanted to feel angry but the experience left me feeling sad.

Isn’t it always like a ghost to get one off track. Think about it.

Don’t look back unless it is for memories only. Live in the present and make the best of your time there.  Look to the future with hope and excitement.

It still seems so weird the ghost and I have the same birthday – a hundred years apart. Hmmmm.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman (and ghost whisperer extraordinaire)

gothic

Credit: Hold back the rain: Songwriters: Taylor, Roger Andrew / Taylor, John / Taylor, Andy / Le Bon, Simon / Rhodes, Nick

For more about the Ghost click here or here or here or here.

Hopes and Fears of a Modern Vampire Mom

Sometimes Vampire Maman needs to muse. Tonight was the semi finals for America’s Got Talent – we’re happy, well ok with the winners who will go on to the final.

We’re not watching the Republican Convention. Then again, we’re not going to watch the Democratic Convention either. Both sides are chuck full of brilliant people with good ideas. Both sides are full of scary scary people. Both side have good people and both unfortunately have a few forces of evil behind them.

I stress this about BOTH sides.

As Modern Vampires we can’t live under the radar like we used to. We have social security numbers, we pay taxes, we are frustrated just like regular humans. But we live in their world, which is our world as well.

My great grandmother told me once of a witch burning a long long time ago. There were two friends named Thomas. One was a Vampire and one was one of the others (maybe a werewolf but it was never defined what he was). Thomas the Vampire was a gentle soul who was a healer and teacher and was stupid enough to fall in love with a regular human woman and tell her more than she needed to know. The other Thomas was also a healer and I believe some sort of holy man. Both were good men. Both were misunderstood by hateful ignorant so they were burned alive. The two men worked together, were best friends, were kind of heart and, well it was tragic.

In the age of modern technology we’ve had to worry about popular culture making Vampire Hunting a blood sport (no pun intended). One day soon we’ll be found out. Someone will test our DNA. They’ll hook us us and study us. The Werewolves tried to do that to us and it ended badly, but they are a small group. Regular humans are a force we can’t fight.

So I fear a lot right now. Loss of those I love, loss of my world as I know it, loss of control of our fortunes and property, loss of freedom, and most of all the loss of secrets.

I know my thoughts are deep and black.

I love my human friends. I have loved many over the years, but not like the friends I have now. I worry about them and about us (Vampires) and I worry about all of the others who are human but not regular humans.

The only ones who can’t be touched are the ghosts. Damn ghosts.

Some in the Vampire community say we ought to “come out of our coffins”. A horrible term, and a dangerous idea. Like Thomas and his friend Thomas we’d be killed, taken apart, put in a compound like in the movie “District 9”. Most of all our children would be feared. Those who are different, starting with those who are physically different and for some reason the artistic always are taken first to be taken away. Then those who speak up are removed. Next those of different faiths. Next the educated and those with a free mind. Then the authors…and soon nobody is left  but the sheep. Where are the Werewolves when you really need them (they were almost wiped out 100 years ago so excuse me for the bad joke).

My sweet children who have hearts of gold and see the world as a joyful place would be feared. We must make it a joyful place for them and keep hope in their lives.

Luckily there is one politician, the State Representative in my area who seems to be actually doing good and LISTENING to people in his area. He isn’t a Vampire but I feel he is one of us. A good man. I just hope he isn’t touched by the dogma of party lines and stupidity that comes from it all.

Unfortunately we haven’t had the same good luck with the County (Sacramento). Roads are horrible, county services are horrible, it is a bad environment for business, so many county employees are paid TOO MUCH for the services (or lack of) they provide and the list goes on. I am disgusted by the mismanagement and LACK of representation among the elected officials. THEY HAVE SUCKED for years. They have lived high and mighty in their own little kingdoms and let our wonderful home go to WASTE. SHAME ON THEM. There are a few new faces in this year and I hope to God they can keep their heads out of their asses and egos in check for just a few seconds to get things back where they should be.

Also, my heart goes out to all of our friends and family in Louisiana and on the Gulf Coast.

Juliette