Cocktails and 2013 ATG Finals at the Vampire Home

America's Got Talent and Cocktails

America’s Got Talent and Cocktails

Oh my gosh it is the very last night of 2013 America’s Got Talent. We watch it every year and for those of you who follow this blog (especially old timers) you know that, well, I blog about it. For no reason at all except that it is FAMILY TIME and this is supposed to be a PARENTING BLOG (fooled you didn’t I.)

We were all SORELY disappointed and pissed off about last week’s show. Now we have three forgettable singing acts (yawn), a darling high school boy who does magic and only two acts that are good enough to win it all. But I’m sure one of the singers will win because most people have no imagination (or taste). On the other hand the dog act won last year. Go dogs. Gotta admit those dogs were really cute.

Anyway, since the final show is exciting, stupid, fun and frustrating all at the same time Teddy is making cocktails.

So this is what we thought…by the way, it was the usual gang of Vampires, about 12 of us from age 14 to age 456.

Warning: Mean but true comments ahead. Turn back if you don’t want to read anything not nice.

Nick had a suit that actually fit!

Below are real comments. Thank your lucky stars I didn’t publish all of them. This is a tough crowd here at Vampire Central.

Jimmy Rose

  • He was precious.
  • He had that tall drink of water look that all girls like.
  • Natural Country voice.
  • He wrote that song? Wow.
  • He is genuine.
  • His heart is in the right place
  • He is the best singer.
  • Makes me think of Randy Travis.
  • Howie shut the F up.
  • He is so much better than the other singers.
  • Howard shut the F up.


  • WOW.
  • He’d be a good opening act.
  • Wow.
  • When is it going to start?
  • He was his own back up dancers!
  • That was fun.
  • He is the girls!
  • This is fun.
  • I love it.
  • He is so much fun.
  • That was great.

Cami Bradley

  • My God what is she singing?
  • Cher is going to come out and kick her ass.
  • What is she doing with her mouth?
  • She is cute but she can’t stay on tune.
  • She’ll win because people are stupid.
  • Just annoying.
  • She’s a whore.
  • She just puts on the goody two shoes act. It is all fake.
  • That was mean.
  • It’s true. That is what people at her church say.
  • Are you kidding me? Really? She has butchered every song she has done. Oh my God that is horrible.
  • She has never been on key.
  • Please forward through it. That is horrible.
  • Why does she keep screwing up her face like that?

Collins Key

  • How’d he do that?
  • HA HA HA
  • That is amazing!
  • How did he do that?
  • He is so cute.
  • I love him!
  • He is so much fun.
  • How did he do that?
  • How did he do that?
  • That was so much fun!
  • How did he do that?


  • They need to learn how to dress themselves.
  • This is not very good.
  • Hear that? No.
  • They’re ok.
  • No this is really bad.
  • You go to any professional opera company and there are 45 guys who sing better. More than 45.
  • They’re just not that good.
  • Would you watch more than 10 minutes of that? Hell No.
  • They’re boring.
  • The chorus was too much.
  • Why the F do they need so much backup?
  • They’re good but I won’t remember them tomorrow.


  • So creative
  • He is so funny
  • He is so cute
  • He has been the best so far tonight
  • He has to win.
  • Stupid people will vote for the singers.
  • Can’t help but like him.
  • He is the best but I think the skank will win it.
  • You’re mean.
  • I’m right.
  • This is really good. He could win it.
  • He is so good.
  • He should win it.
  • I can’t believe he said that.
  • He is so funny.
  • He need to win.
  • It will be nuts if he doesn’t win.
  • He should win.
  • He is so good.

Cocktail of the Night

Bloody Talent

  • 3 parts V8
  • 2 parts Vodka (I use the kind in the blue bottle)
  • 1 part blood
  • A dash of lemon juice
  • A dash of lime juice
  • A dash of hot sauce
  • A dash of orange juice (just a dash)
  • A splash of good gin (the blue or green bottle)
  • 3 large green olives (stuffed with whatever you like)

And add a pickled green bean if you like. Might as well.

Pour over ice!

Thank you Teddy!

If you’re not a Vampire leave out the blood.

The only thing left is to vote and see who wins tomorrow and hope it doesn’t make us cry.


Update 9/19/13:

Kenichi 1st Place

Taylor 2nd Place

Jimmy 3rd Place

We’re happy with that. They were the best and I’m sure they’ve all been contacted by agents already. Good job. Well see who shows up next summer. Now we’re just waiting to see what Walt does next on Breaking Bad!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Tuesday means American’s Got Talent and Cocktails! Who do we like tonight?


July 30, 2013

Teddy and the kids keep yelling “You suck” at the Tee Vee. Oh boy. Not a good night on America’s Got Talent. People were booted off for this lame showing. Ugh. And I know I’m not the best writer/blogger so how can I judge? Well, I can so get over it. I’m not out there singing or dancing or doing acrobatic stuff and pretending I’m good enough for my own show in Las Vegas.

But the best came last…sort of…but there was some good stuff….there really was.

No hunting tonight for the Vampires for it is Tuesday and summer so that means America’s Got Talent and Cocktails. We do this every summer so just go along with us. For those of you who don’t watch it is on NBC (in the USA or you can go online if you’re outside of the US.)

Last week Clara and I were on the road (at the US National Roller Skating Championships in Albuquerque, New Mexico) and we watched from the road. We liked all of the top four picks. Our favorite of course were the two precious, cute, wonderful, funny and amazing acrobats  the KriStef Brothers. Oh my goodness. I thought it was so cute that “mom” made the costumes. The Vampires of the universe hope these guys win.

Thank goodness that nasty “head” guy didn’t get voted on. Yuck. He was just pure yuck and a total hack.

We didn’t think Opera Guy Brandon James did his best but he was ok. Honestly Clara and I agreed that only Josh Groban can sing that song (You lift me up).  I think we’ll see bigger and better from Brandon in the future. We were so glad the darling and very young Anna Christine  made it. She is lovely and has a great voice. We also love love love the cute blue eyed 17 year old musician Collins Key. Yes, we’re happy.

SO what about tonight? And don’t spell check. I’ve already had cocktails…

hairy chest guyNick is wearing an awful suit so I’m providing another photo of a guy in a suit. And don’t try any of this at home – not the singing, not the sword swallowing, not the bad suits, not the crappy kid dancing, not the confusing acrobat tumbling girls, not any of it. What the F is going on tonight???? Wait a minute….can’t find the photo of the hot guy in a suit so you get the guy I just posted (the long haired hairy chest Vampire guy.)

I’m not going to list tonight’s line up. Look it up. If you watch the show with us you’ll know who was on. Due to my lack of time tonight I’m only going to list who we voted for.

This is the rundown on who we voted for:

Forte. With more practice they could be totally awesome. Loved them all. The really tall (newer to the group) guy was especially fantastic. Wow. Finally someone with talent! They have MY vote. Clara isn’t digging the velvet jackets.

Note: This year, and in the past, we’ve seen a lot of opera singers. I’m the only one in my family who truly loves opera, and I love Nessum Dorum and I love guitars sooooooo,  the ultimate, Jeff Beck is doing Nessum Dorum (I saw him do this live a few years ago in San Francisco, oh my goodness. I was transported.) Puccini would be proud. Or of course Brandon James was pretty good (not the best but better than most) this year on AGT. We liked Forte better. 

ALL of us really liked Angela Hoover, even Lola who is staying the night. She was funny and right on target with her humor. Howard didn’t like her but then again he liked some folks who sucked the big one tonight so his opinion, well, we don’t agree. Angela you’re awesome!

Dave Shirley – he made us laugh. He was fun. We liked him. He got a vote. Teddy yelled “you’re a stupid bitch” at one of the judges. Teddy is like that. I still love him.

The B Double Oh Tee Why Guys got our vote just because they made us laugh. It is the hit of the summer. Oh my goodness. Believe it or not! This was too funny.


Tomorrow we’ll see who wins.

We didn’t have cocktails tonight but my husband, the wine expert picked out a real find. He said it won a Gold at the California State Fair. Let it open a little. Yes it is a white wine but let it open. Write this down then go buy a case of it: 2012 Rock View reserve, Chardonnay, Mendocino. 

For Vampire cocktails click here or do a search on this blog.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman