How to write a response to a love letter

How to write a response to a love letter (which is more fun if it isn’t addressed to YOU)

Part One: How to Write A Love Letter

How would I write a love letter?

As if I’d tell my teen that. Teens usually know but forget as they grow old and fearful.

I would write it by hand on a yellow legal pad with pencil. I would write it over and over until it was exactly right. Then I’d get a fine piece of stationary and write the perfect letter with perfect script.

There are different kinds of love letters. There are those that say:  Hey, I really like you a lot, let’s get together. There are love letters that are heart breaking and say: I’m lost without you. There are those that say: You are the one, the only one, the absolute only one. And there are those that say: After all these years together I love you still and always and forever.

It is simple really.

  • Don’t sound desperate. That will turn someone off like a box full of baby rattlesnakes (I’ve been wanting to say that for a while).
  • Simple is good.
  • Poetic is always good.
  • The truth is good.
  • Don’t talk about YOU. Talk about the one you love.
  • Talk about US.
  • Abstract is good if it isn’t totally cryptic.
  • Using quotes from others is ok too if you are at a loss for words.
  • Write it and wait.
  • A good love letter is like wine; it needs to sit for a bit. Write it and wait. Then after you’ve waited look it again.

But that isn’t really what this is about…

Part Two: How to write a response to a love letter (which is more fun if it isn’t addressed to YOU)

I’m not the kind of person who spies on my spouse or kids. I don’t go through drawers (but I will go through an attic) or personal papers. I won’t even read your email or go through your phone. It just isn’t good to pry.

BUT that said…there are situations where ALL BETS ARE OFF.

In a little over a week my romantically minded, smart, funny and handsome son Garrett will turn 17.  His best buddy Randy is throwing him a bash and they are all going to dress up. Top hats, tails, ball gowns, the works. But it is all vintage. The girls are at the vintage and thrift stores or raiding their mother’s closets. The boys are looking at what their fathers and grandfathers have plus raiding the thrift stores and vintage shops.

Garrett came downstairs in a beautiful long black coat. It came almost to his knees, beautifully cut. He looked so handsome, so much like his father.

“Dad said I could wear this. What do you think?”

“Wow. Perfect.” I remember long ago when my husband Teddy wore that coat. It was long before we married, in another time and place.

“Look what I found in the pocket.” Garrett held out a pale cream-colored envelope.

Inside was a note written in a beautiful script.

March 20, 1889

My Darling,

The sun shines but brings nothing so warm or bright as my memory of your kiss. Last night under the stars of heaven I thought I’d been taken by an angel. Yet, when I opened my eyes it was you with your arms around me. Your kiss took me away from the common world into the world of Venus and Mars.  My heart quickens at the thought of you. The sound of your voice, the touch of your hand, your lips on mine.

My love, my life, my always.

Meet me tomorrow at the gates of the cathedral.

Until then my love,

Always and forever.


Oh my.

The three of us looked at each other then for no reason we started to laugh.

“So if you have to respond what would you write?” I asked this of my kids knowing they are always up for a creative challenge.

Thirteen-year-old Clara went first.

Dear Mary,

I’m in love with someone else. She is totally clueless to how I feel. She is the only one I want to hunt with. She makes me laugh. She is beautiful. I want her to be the mother of my children. I won’t have the courage to tell her for another 100 years. Sorry. Go find yourself a nice guy.  I might be good looking but I’m a real pain in the butt. Most exceptionally good-looking guys are like that. We all think we’re “all that”. You don’t want a guy who thinks he is “all that”. Give it a few months and you won’t like me anymore.  I bet you’ll hate me. Besides, I hate to break this to you but if you haven’t figured it out already I’m a Vampire.

You ROCK Mary and I know you’ll find someone better than I can ever be.



Next Garrett read his letter aloud.

Dear Mary,

Your beauty lights up a room,

Both beauty of your body and soul,

Forgive me for being so forward,

To dare say,

You are dear, so dear to me.

But I must protect your heart,

And speak the truth,

I am a man of the shadows,

And would kill your sunshine,

And your glowing light and spirit.

I would never make you happy.

I will always treasure our time together.

You are beauty and light that I would never be able to hold.

Fly free Mary. Fly free and find love where you deserve it.

In the light,

In the sun,

With someone who can love you

The way you deserve to be loved.


Always in my heart,


By then both of my children were laughing so hard they had slid off the couch and were on the floor.

So I wrote my response.

Darling Mary,

I would run my hands down your bare shoulders then kiss your beautiful neck. I would slowly undress you and gaze upon your beauty in the moonlight knowing that you are mine alone. I will take what I desire, but leave you with more than you could ever imagine. When you gasp your little sighs of pleasure I will sink my fangs into you and drain your blood from your body. I will fill your soul with dark carnal thoughts that will drive you insane and ruin you for any other man. Then I will leave you begging for more, never to see you again. So Mary, forget me, unless you want a life of ruin and insanity.


I folded that one up because there is no way I’d read THAT to my children.

I started over.

My dearest Mary,

I have not been honest with you. I have a wife and three children in America. I respect you too much to make you my mistress or even be your close friend.

I am sorry.

~ Theodore

We heard a loud engine and then the loud stereo. Teddy (Theodore) was home.

We didn’t tell him why we were all smiling but he liked way the jacket fit Garrett.

“Who is Mary?” Garrett asked his father. Clara started to giggle.

I put my arm around Teddy’s waist and handed him the letter.

“Mary? Oh right, she was a girl I met at a party in London. Pretty girl and insanely wealthy. She had a crush on your Uncle Maxwell. What, you didn’t think she wrote that letter to me did you? It was for Max.”

“What happened?” I asked in anticipation of a good story.

“Nothing. I never gave it to him. She didn’t know he was a Vampire or anything other than he was a charming man with an air of danger about him.”

“What happened to her?” 13-year-old Clara had to ask.

Teddy smiled. “Mary met the love of her life a few weeks later and lived a long and happy life.”

Which goes to show that sometimes the best love letters are those that are never sent.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Note to my readers: How to respond to a love letter (which is more fun if it isn’t addressed to YOU) was first published in 2013. To this day it remains the most popular post, year around, on 



Writing a love letter? Ask a vampire.

 Vampires write love letters tooClara (14): I met a new friend in school today. His name is Alex.

Me (mom): Is he cute?

Clara (big smile): Yes.

High School is full of surprises this year! Well, not really, but that is a good thing. The kids are having so much fun and so far everything is great.

My teens are also doing quite well (so far) at handling the opposite sex.

I can’t say as much for my brother Andrew who is staying with me for a few weeks. I guess, he does handle things in his own over blown old fashioned over the top romantic way.

We (my kids and I) walked into our family room to find Uncle Andy laying on the floor, pen and paper in hand, cat on Andy’s back purring and the dog curled up against his side.

“What are you writing?” I asked, for one never knows with Andy.

“A love letter to Sheena.”

Ah, the new woman he’d met this summer. Not a Vampire but not a sweet young thing either. She was a 50 something professional mom of two college age kids who’d captured his heart. Actually she didn’t capture his heart, he threw it at her. She learned he was a Vampire and was a little freaked out about it, but not so freaked out that she wouldn’t let him stay the night with him. But still freaked out.

None the less, she must be pretty special to get love letters from Andrew, who is always throwing his heart at women.

There had been a couple of Vampire women a over the past two or three years  I seemed to remember.

“What about Teresa? Your Vampire love in New Orleans?” I had to ask because she was so interesting.

Andrew shrugged his shoulders. “She said she was looking for someone more mature.”

“You’re 162 Andy,” I said thinking that my older brother wasn’t that old for a Vampire but he wasn’t exactly young.

My brother sighed. “She wasn’t talking about my age.”

Then he rolled back on his stomach and the cat crawled on his back again. “Help me write this letter. What should I say to my Sheena?”

I thought a minute. “Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you, tomorrow I’ll miss you, remember I’ll always be true. And then while I’m away I’ll write home every day and I’ll send all my loving to you.”

“Say that again…close your eyes and I’ll kiss you. Juliette that is a Beatles song.”

It took a while before the kids stopped laughing. Then they started to throw out ever bad lyric out there.

“Alright copy this down,” I told him. I cleared my throat ceremoniously.

“The first time I met you I felt as if I’d known you forever.  It is as if I’ve loved you forever.  If you don’t want to see me I understand, but please give me a chance to let me show you who I am, what I am and why I love you.

I remember when we were on the beach, dancing under the full moon. I can still feel the brush of your lips on mine, the taste of…” I paused with a sudden thought, one that only Vampires think. “Did you bite her Andy?”

“Yes, but in my defense she didn’t know. She fell asleep. She’ll never know.”

“OK. Just tell her how you feel. Make a couple of rough drafts. Read it aloud. Quote some poetry or a song lyric.”

Teddy (my husband and Andrew’s friend) came downstairs. “Hey children of mine, the results are in from this week’s America’s Got Talent. It more or less sucked.” Teddy then looked at Andrew on the floor. “What are you doing?”

“I’m writing a love letter to Sheena. She needs to know how the full emotional depth of my feelings for her. I just can’t…seem…to get the words down on paper.”

Teddy got the look on his face like he gets with the kids. “Why don’t you just pick up the phone and call her?”


“Andy, if you like her, call her.”

“What would I say?”

“Hi. How are you? I’ve been thinking about you? When can we get together? What’s the worst than can happen? She’ll say no and you won’t have to worry about her anymore. She says yes and you’ll get to see her.”

Andy took out his phone and went to kitchen. We could hear him on the phone, “Sheena, it’s Andy.”

They talked for about an hour. I’m sure during that time there must have been about 100 texts from Alex to Clara too.

Like Teddy said, all you have to do is say hello. But you know, a beautifully written love letter never hurts.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


If you look up “how to respond to a love letter” on Google you’ll get MY POST FIRST (click here to go there) and if you go to the second choice, and this is what makes me the really cool mom, and I mean really really really cool, you’ll get SMOSH. If you don’t know who SMOSH is they’re a comedy team from my neighborhood who do really fun things on YouTube. And they’re a favorite of my kids. They created one of my favorites the Teleporting Fat Guy. Click here for SMOSH love letters: