Writing a love letter? Ask a vampire.

 Vampires write love letters tooClara (14): I met a new friend in school today. His name is Alex.

Me (mom): Is he cute?

Clara (big smile): Yes.

High School is full of surprises this year! Well, not really, but that is a good thing. The kids are having so much fun and so far everything is great.

My teens are also doing quite well (so far) at handling the opposite sex.

I can’t say as much for my brother Andrew who is staying with me for a few weeks. I guess, he does handle things in his own over blown old fashioned over the top romantic way.

We (my kids and I) walked into our family room to find Uncle Andy laying on the floor, pen and paper in hand, cat on Andy’s back purring and the dog curled up against his side.

“What are you writing?” I asked, for one never knows with Andy.

“A love letter to Sheena.”

Ah, the new woman he’d met this summer. Not a Vampire but not a sweet young thing either. She was a 50 something professional mom of two college age kids who’d captured his heart. Actually she didn’t capture his heart, he threw it at her. She learned he was a Vampire and was a little freaked out about it, but not so freaked out that she wouldn’t let him stay the night with him. But still freaked out.

None the less, she must be pretty special to get love letters from Andrew, who is always throwing his heart at women.

There had been a couple of Vampire women a over the past two or three years  I seemed to remember.

“What about Teresa? Your Vampire love in New Orleans?” I had to ask because she was so interesting.

Andrew shrugged his shoulders. “She said she was looking for someone more mature.”

“You’re 162 Andy,” I said thinking that my older brother wasn’t that old for a Vampire but he wasn’t exactly young.

My brother sighed. “She wasn’t talking about my age.”

Then he rolled back on his stomach and the cat crawled on his back again. “Help me write this letter. What should I say to my Sheena?”

I thought a minute. “Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you, tomorrow I’ll miss you, remember I’ll always be true. And then while I’m away I’ll write home every day and I’ll send all my loving to you.”

“Say that again…close your eyes and I’ll kiss you. Juliette that is a Beatles song.”

It took a while before the kids stopped laughing. Then they started to throw out ever bad lyric out there.

“Alright copy this down,” I told him. I cleared my throat ceremoniously.

“The first time I met you I felt as if I’d known you forever.  It is as if I’ve loved you forever.  If you don’t want to see me I understand, but please give me a chance to let me show you who I am, what I am and why I love you.

I remember when we were on the beach, dancing under the full moon. I can still feel the brush of your lips on mine, the taste of…” I paused with a sudden thought, one that only Vampires think. “Did you bite her Andy?”

“Yes, but in my defense she didn’t know. She fell asleep. She’ll never know.”

“OK. Just tell her how you feel. Make a couple of rough drafts. Read it aloud. Quote some poetry or a song lyric.”

Teddy (my husband and Andrew’s friend) came downstairs. “Hey children of mine, the results are in from this week’s America’s Got Talent. It more or less sucked.” Teddy then looked at Andrew on the floor. “What are you doing?”

“I’m writing a love letter to Sheena. She needs to know how the full emotional depth of my feelings for her. I just can’t…seem…to get the words down on paper.”

Teddy got the look on his face like he gets with the kids. “Why don’t you just pick up the phone and call her?”


“Andy, if you like her, call her.”

“What would I say?”

“Hi. How are you? I’ve been thinking about you? When can we get together? What’s the worst than can happen? She’ll say no and you won’t have to worry about her anymore. She says yes and you’ll get to see her.”

Andy took out his phone and went to kitchen. We could hear him on the phone, “Sheena, it’s Andy.”

They talked for about an hour. I’m sure during that time there must have been about 100 texts from Alex to Clara too.

Like Teddy said, all you have to do is say hello. But you know, a beautifully written love letter never hurts.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


If you look up “how to respond to a love letter” on Google you’ll get MY POST FIRST (click here to go there) and if you go to the second choice, and this is what makes me the really cool mom, and I mean really really really cool, you’ll get SMOSH. If you don’t know who SMOSH is they’re a comedy team from my neighborhood who do really fun things on YouTube. And they’re a favorite of my kids. They created one of my favorites the Teleporting Fat Guy. Click here for SMOSH love letters: http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/15-totally-pathetic-love-letters

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