How to write a response to a love letter

How to write a response to a love letter (which is more fun if it isn’t addressed to YOU)

Part One: How to Write A Love Letter

How would I write a love letter?

As if I’d tell my teen that. Teens usually know but forget as they grow old and fearful.

I would write it by hand on a yellow legal pad with pencil. I would write it over and over until it was exactly right. Then I’d get a fine piece of stationary and write the perfect letter with perfect script.

There are different kinds of love letters. There are those that say:  Hey, I really like you a lot, let’s get together. There are love letters that are heart breaking and say: I’m lost without you. There are those that say: You are the one, the only one, the absolute only one. And there are those that say: After all these years together I love you still and always and forever.

It is simple really.

  • Don’t sound desperate. That will turn someone off like a box full of baby rattlesnakes (I’ve been wanting to say that for a while).
  • Simple is good.
  • Poetic is always good.
  • The truth is good.
  • Don’t talk about YOU. Talk about the one you love.
  • Talk about US.
  • Abstract is good if it isn’t totally cryptic.
  • Using quotes from others is ok too if you are at a loss for words.
  • Write it and wait.
  • A good love letter is like wine; it needs to sit for a bit. Write it and wait. Then after you’ve waited look it again.

But that isn’t really what this is about…

Part Two: How to write a response to a love letter (which is more fun if it isn’t addressed to YOU)

I’m not the kind of person who spies on my spouse or kids. I don’t go through drawers (but I will go through an attic) or personal papers. I won’t even read your email or go through your phone. It just isn’t good to pry.

BUT that said…there are situations where ALL BETS ARE OFF.

In a little over a week my romantically minded, smart, funny and handsome son Garrett will turn 17.  His best buddy Randy is throwing him a bash and they are all going to dress up. Top hats, tails, ball gowns, the works. But it is all vintage. The girls are at the vintage and thrift stores or raiding their mother’s closets. The boys are looking at what their fathers and grandfathers have plus raiding the thrift stores and vintage shops.

Garrett came downstairs in a beautiful long black coat. It came almost to his knees, beautifully cut. He looked so handsome, so much like his father.

“Dad said I could wear this. What do you think?”

“Wow. Perfect.” I remember long ago when my husband Teddy wore that coat. It was long before we married, in another time and place.

“Look what I found in the pocket.” Garrett held out a pale cream-colored envelope.

Inside was a note written in a beautiful script.

March 20, 1889

My Darling,

The sun shines but brings nothing so warm or bright as my memory of your kiss. Last night under the stars of heaven I thought I’d been taken by an angel. Yet, when I opened my eyes it was you with your arms around me. Your kiss took me away from the common world into the world of Venus and Mars.  My heart quickens at the thought of you. The sound of your voice, the touch of your hand, your lips on mine.

My love, my life, my always.

Meet me tomorrow at the gates of the cathedral.

Until then my love,

Always and forever.

Mary

Oh my.

The three of us looked at each other then for no reason we started to laugh.

“So if you have to respond what would you write?” I asked this of my kids knowing they are always up for a creative challenge.

Thirteen-year-old Clara went first.

Dear Mary,

I’m in love with someone else. She is totally clueless to how I feel. She is the only one I want to hunt with. She makes me laugh. She is beautiful. I want her to be the mother of my children. I won’t have the courage to tell her for another 100 years. Sorry. Go find yourself a nice guy.  I might be good looking but I’m a real pain in the butt. Most exceptionally good-looking guys are like that. We all think we’re “all that”. You don’t want a guy who thinks he is “all that”. Give it a few months and you won’t like me anymore.  I bet you’ll hate me. Besides, I hate to break this to you but if you haven’t figured it out already I’m a Vampire.

You ROCK Mary and I know you’ll find someone better than I can ever be.

Theodore

 

Next Garrett read his letter aloud.

Dear Mary,

Your beauty lights up a room,

Both beauty of your body and soul,

Forgive me for being so forward,

To dare say,

You are dear, so dear to me.

But I must protect your heart,

And speak the truth,

I am a man of the shadows,

And would kill your sunshine,

And your glowing light and spirit.

I would never make you happy.

I will always treasure our time together.

You are beauty and light that I would never be able to hold.

Fly free Mary. Fly free and find love where you deserve it.

In the light,

In the sun,

With someone who can love you

The way you deserve to be loved.

 

Always in my heart,

Theodore

By then both of my children were laughing so hard they had slid off the couch and were on the floor.

So I wrote my response.

Darling Mary,

I would run my hands down your bare shoulders then kiss your beautiful neck. I would slowly undress you and gaze upon your beauty in the moonlight knowing that you are mine alone. I will take what I desire, but leave you with more than you could ever imagine. When you gasp your little sighs of pleasure I will sink my fangs into you and drain your blood from your body. I will fill your soul with dark carnal thoughts that will drive you insane and ruin you for any other man. Then I will leave you begging for more, never to see you again. So Mary, forget me, unless you want a life of ruin and insanity.

T

I folded that one up because there is no way I’d read THAT to my children.

I started over.

My dearest Mary,

I have not been honest with you. I have a wife and three children in America. I respect you too much to make you my mistress or even be your close friend.

I am sorry.

~ Theodore

We heard a loud engine and then the loud stereo. Teddy (Theodore) was home.

We didn’t tell him why we were all smiling but he liked way the jacket fit Garrett.

“Who is Mary?” Garrett asked his father. Clara started to giggle.

I put my arm around Teddy’s waist and handed him the letter.

“Mary? Oh right, she was a girl I met at a party in London. Pretty girl and insanely wealthy. She had a crush on your Uncle Maxwell. What, you didn’t think she wrote that letter to me did you? It was for Max.”

“What happened?” I asked in anticipation of a good story.

“Nothing. I never gave it to him. She didn’t know he was a Vampire or anything other than he was a charming man with an air of danger about him.”

“What happened to her?” 13-year-old Clara had to ask.

Teddy smiled. “Mary met the love of her life a few weeks later and lived a long and happy life.”

Which goes to show that sometimes the best love letters are those that are never sent.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Note to my readers: How to respond to a love letter (which is more fun if it isn’t addressed to YOU) was first published in 2013. To this day it remains the most popular post, year around, on Vampiremaman.com. 

 

 

Love: Cold Hands, Warm Hearts

Cold Hands, Warm Hearts

First posted: 2/20/14 

My eldest brother Max (10 years my senior) had asked his best friend Teddy to escort me home from the theater one evening. It was 1874. I was 15 years old.

“Your hands are so cold,” he said as he helped me up off of the muddy street onto the boardwalk.

I gave him a coy smile. “I have a cold heart sir.”

He laughed. I never called him sir. He offered me his arm.

I gladly took his arm. “Your hands are positively burning. What sort of fire stirs your soul tonight?” That was pretty forward but I didn’t care. I was floating with the joy of being a flirt and having no brothers or parents around to stop me.

“You’re not like the other girls.”

“No I am not.”

“You’re an impish little thing. It will take a man with a quick wit and a good sense of humor to woo you Juliette.”

“Ahhhh, but you forget I have four older brothers. I pity any man who would have to deal with them.”

“They’ll love any man who is truly in love with you Juliette.”

“I doubt that Teddy.”

Then he stopped and faced me. “I have some news. A secret if you can keep one.”

“Your secrets are always safe with me.”

Teddy had a large smile on his handsome face. “I’m getting married.”

My young Vampire heart literally stopped dead. My head started to spin, but I managed to smile because like all Vampires, I was a natural liar. “Oh Teddy. I’m so happy for you. She really is lovely.”

I wished I could just turn to putrified slime and slip into the dirt like the dead in the cemetery but instead I found a dark place to curl up in for the rest of the night. Teddy would now be lost to me forever. No more laughing at silly jokes with him. No more having him give me sly smiles. No more watching him and my brother Max in awe as they turned from boys to real men.

Teddy would be moving on to the world of married men where there was no room for girls who laughed too loud and talked too much. There was no room for Vampires. Sure, once I was older and became an icy cold elegant woman like my Vampire mother I could entertain Teddy and his bride, but until then it was over. He might has well have died – at least that is what I was feeling in my cold quiet teenage heart.

Teddy had no idea how different any of us were. He had no idea that his father’s business partner was a Vampire. Teddy had no idea what a Vampire was.

While they were away to college Teddy never really questioned why my brother Max would go out in the middle of the night. He imagined it was a woman or gambling or just a restless spirit. Like all of us, Max was brilliant at hiding his true nature.

The young woman of good breeding whom Teddy had become engaged to was sweet. That was her only attribute aside from being considered pretty. She wanted nothing more in life than to be the wife of a successful man. The fact that Teddy was the most handsome human I’d ever seen in my life, interesting, smart and funny was just an added bonus. Other than the fact that Teddy thought she’d be a good match there was nothing remarkable about her. Good breeding. Good reputation. Good girl. I didn’t even think about passion. Thinking about that would be almost as bad as thinking about my parents having any kind of passion (remember I was 15 years old.)

Teddy’s love wasn’t out sucking blood out of people in the middle of the night. She was in bed alone dreaming of angels and kittens. She was the kind of girl he dreamed of and I am sure he dreamed of her at night.

I wished I was like her. I wished I was sweet and warm like a her. I touched my icy hands against my cheeks and closed my eyes and then wiped away cold tears. No amount of wishing could make me warm. No amount of wishing could make me walk in the sunshine without dark glasses or a parasol. No amount of charm or wit could make him continue to be buddies with me, a girl who lived in the shadow of the night. He’d never love me.

I found my brother Val and told him the news. Val, who is only 16 at the time, thought I was being silly. He didn’t understand. He was a boy. Teddy could still be friends with a boy.

Max came up on the roof where I ended up that night. He sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. “Teddy is like family. He’ll still be here for a long long time. With any luck he’ll live a long life and we’ll always be able to watch over him and protect him.”

I closed my eyes knowing it was a battle I couldn’t win.

“Listen Jewels, part of growing up is letting go, that means letting go of everyone else who is growing up and moving on. It won’t just be Teddy. All of us will have to go out in the world and make our way. We’ll all find love. We’ll find it with people like ourselves, other Vampires. People move on, but the human heart, and our hearts have a great capacity for love. You have to treasure that love because as we move on, they, the regular humans grow old and they die. I’ve seen Mother and Father mourn the loss of their friends in the worst way. We’ve mourned the loss of friends in the worst way. But Teddy isn’t dead. Be happy for him. He’ll still be my best friend. He’ll still be your friend.”

We sat on the roof until the sun came up and talked of life and love and loss.

A year later Teddy died and didn’t die. He became a Vampire (not from anything we did and very much against his will.) The wedding never happened. After that we all went our separate ways and had our share of love and adventure and friendship.

After Teddy acclimated to being a Vampire we became great friends. Twenty years ago we got married. That isn’t typical of anyone, but then again, not much is typical in my life.

As my own children become older and closer to being adults they’ll have to deal with friends moving away, getting in relationships and changing in ways they can’t imagine. Some friendships will last those changes, but many won’t. The fact that we can’t always predict these things doesn’t make it any easier, but at least we can talk with our kids about these things. We can be there when they need someone to talk to. And that day will come.

I have been fortunate to have friends who’ve been in my life since those days when I used to sit on the roof of my parent’s house and ponder the meaning of life. Sometimes my friends would sit on the roof with me. Sometimes my brothers would join us. We’re not sitting on the roof anymore, but we’re still talking and laughing and having warm hearts to go with our cold hands.
———————————

January 31, 2015

The past few weeks have been crazy hectic busy and emotional. We (my family) lost two good friends and we’ve been dealing with the elders of our family. Add to that business and other well, work related things. Thank goodness there are no problems with kids. But anyway…

February brings ROMANCE so I will do my best to post plenty of Vampire and Gothic Valentine fun. And of course I’ll have to see what I can get out of my sweet brother Valentine. I haven’t posted much on him lately – seeing that he is so grounded and not good material for blog posts right now (he has been out and out boring – especially for a Vampire.)

And don’t forget to enter the Vampire Maman Love Letter Contest. CLICK HERE for more details.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Everybody likes a little romance. Come back for more at Vampire Maman.

Everybody likes a little romance. Come back for more at Vampire Maman.

To The Squirrel I Love

Oh my goodness – the very first entry to the Vampire Maman Love Letter Contest. This is absolutely wonderful and funny and I’m so touched by it. Evil Squirrel has captured the essence of a squirrel in love!

Evil Squirrel's Nest

012415squirrel013

To my beloved Agnes,

I still remember every little detail about the instant in time when I first glanced upon your sciurine splendor.  You didn’t see me above you, my dear, but there was no way I could miss the furry goddess whose sparkly black eyes and bristly, fuzzy tail was making my tiny heart go all nutty.  You were the portrait of an exotic arboreal princess.  I didn’t have the courage to approach you… at least not upon my first sighting of your ravishing beauty.  But from that moment on, it was my only mission in life to make you mine.

031314squirrel009

The next day, I stealthily perched above the branch on which you were sunning your exquisite physique.  I watched in awe as you delicately and sensually groomed your flowing locks of fur.  I thought of jumping down there to help you pick for fleas and ticks that had…

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My Funny Valentine

When it comes to romance (hey, it is February) my brother Valentine is right up there as the guy every girl would like to be with, even if it is just for a few hours.

My brother Valentine is one of the most relaxed creatures I’ve ever met. Describing him brings up traits like low-key, mellow, friendly, happy, smooth and of course funny.

If you didn’t know him you’d never in a million years guess he is a Vampire.

Then again putting everything out there, the what-you-see-is-what-you-get attitude has never seemed smart or true to me. It somewhat lacks in a certain sophistication. I’m not saying to be false, one just doesn’t have to wear their underwear on the outside for everyone to see.

So I said to him, “Val, tell me about your perfect Valentine’s Day.”

Val leaned back in the chair and smiled as he told his story. “February 12, 1941. There was a full moon. I was in London working for the American Military, as we all were. The usual super secret Vampire stuff. Anyway, that night Jo, you remember Josephine McClintock. Well, Jo and I were strolling around the city in the dark. We’d dined on a group of British officers who never knew their guests were Vampires. We were just a couple of funny Yanks with a lot of good jokes and sources for good booze.

Jo was always in a good mood, except that night she was a little off. She’d seen someone she was crazy about with another woman. What made it worse was that the other woman was a beautiful Norwegian Vampire. Her plans for the evening under the moonlight were crushed. Jo took it all in stride. To this day she is still one of the most level headed good humored Vampires I’ve ever met. She was the best companion I could have had that evening.

I’d also been crushed in a slightly different way and was feeling sorry for my self in the worst way. I’d run into Gloria. I know you remember Gloria – the Vampire who’d taken my heart but would never give me hers.  I wasn’t good enough for her, yet she always came to me, to my bed but nowhere else. I was in love with her. She was in lust. We’d parted ways months before but then I’d run into her while at the library. I was hopeful she’d changed her mind about me, but she told me she was in love. I told her some sort of lie about how I was doing great. Then we both said have a nice life and she left. An hour later she returned to where I was still doing research. She said she wanted me. Not forever. Just for now. Just for a few hours of sex. She said she couldn’t stay away from me.

I told her that I wouldn’t be with her because I would never betray another man like that. I said that it was out of respect for him that I wouldn’t touch her. She said she understood and respected me for that. I gave her a hug and I never saw her again.

I’d lied to Gloria. What I wanted to tell her was that I didn’t have sex with her wasn’t because she was in love with another man. The real reason was because she wasn’t in love with me. Now after all this time I wish I’d told her that, but I can’t go back.

That night in London, Jo and I found ourselves under the moonlight talking about how love never lasts and how useless any efforts on love were all stupid and a waste of time. We found ourselves laughing at funny stories about love and romance. What fools we are, especially us Vampires were for thinking that love could work and last for anyone.

From the window of a dark house that had once been grand, but now was in slight decay, came the faint sound of Artie Shaw’s Begin the Beguine. We quietly went inside the unlocked door and down a dark hall to a large hall. A wind up phonograph was on the floor. A couple danced cheek to cheek in the center of the room, alone, in love. He stopped the dance and kissed her under the moonlight that flooded through stained glass windows. Time seemed to stop. They were the only two people that existed in our war torn world. Their hearts would never be broken.

We backed out as quietly as we entered.

Jo linked her arm in mine and gave me a smile, “We were wrong Val. That was Jeremy and Samantha. They’re legends in the Modern Vampire movement. I’m sure you’ve heard of them.”

I smiled back. “Somewhat.”

“They’ve been in love for around 250 years. Real love.”

I laughed out loud then told her “I know all about their love affair. Jeremy and Samantha are my parents.”

We left Mom and Dad alone and went off to seek fun elsewhere. A few nights later the bombing started again. Jo was assigned to another post and I didn’t see her again until 1950 at a party in Santa Barbara. I saw her again last week. She’s doing great.”

“Mom and Dad are still in love,” I said to my brother.

“Yes they are. Every day is Valentine’s day for them.”

And I hope every day is Valentine’s Day for you, my readers.

~ Juliette aka

This sort of looks like Val but not quite (you know I can't show photos of my family here.)

This sort of looks like Val but not quite (you know I can’t show photos of my family here.)

Note: The song “My Funny Valentine” was from the 1939 musical Babe’s In Arms. The song didn’t become popular until the 1950’s when it was recorded by various amazing artists (my favorite is the Chet Baker version). They lyrics don’t describe my brother Val, who turns heads with his good looks, but no matter what he looks like, even if he looked like a frog I would never want him to change a thing about himself.

My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart

You’re looks are laughable
Un-photographable
Yet, you’re my favorite work of art

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But don’t change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine, stay
Each day is Valentines Day

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/10/writing-challenge-valentine/

Another note: If you’re a new visitor/reader please look around at some of my previous posts and the “curious about…” page. This blog is written from the viewpoint of a Modern Vampire Mom. I cover a variety of issues dealing with parenting, family, relationships and modern life through stories, poetry and art and of course musings. I muse a lot. So explore and have fun and feel free to comment. Warning – all posts are written really fast so I won’t forget what I’m thinking about…. Thanks for dropping by. ~ Juliette

The Art of Writing Love Letters is Alive and Well (even for Zombies & Ghosts)

February brings thoughts of love… I first posted this musing on love letters in July but it is well worth revisiting.

My brother Val always says “love isn’t a physical thing. It is a meeting of souls. Be it friendship or romantic lovers, it is something we can write about and dream about, but we can never truly explain or define it.”

The Art of Writing Love Letters is Alive and Well (even for Zombies & Ghosts)

The most popular post on this blog is “How to respond to a love letter.”  Really. Out of the zillion or so things I’ve written on just about every subject everything always circles around back to LOVE.

That is proof that the art of letter writing is not completely dead (YES – real scientific proof) AND romance is still alive and well.

Everyone writes love letters. And that means YOU. Below are some examples to inspire you and get you going.

For Modern Royalty

Let me undress you my love and rid you of your fashionable dress. Let me unroll your stockings one by one. Let me slip off your panties and bra so carefully. And when you’re all mine naked and beautiful, let me cover you with frumpy pastel colored grandma clothing and ugly hats forever.

kiss snow white

For Werewolves

Let me run my hands along your bare skin and feel the fur grow under my fingers.  Run in the woods with me my love and let me hear your howl in the moonlight. Be the father of my cubs and the alpha of my pack.  Your large paws and dark eyes excite me.  I sniff you and your scent intoxicates me.  Both the man and beast in you make me love you even more.

blue eyed adam

For Zombies

Know that I love you for more than just your brains. When I first saw you staggering across the street, the wild look in your one remaining eye, the slight smile, the slow groan, the matted hair and I knew you were the girl for me.

I will be with you even when we fall apart and our body parts trail behind us…and there is nothing left except our love.

zombiesinlove

For Vampires

In the shadows you bring dark light and the slow beating of your heart. I live for your cool touch, your lips on my neck, fangs lightly teasing me. You’re my heart and soul. You are my shadow. You are my love. You are the one I will spend centuries with sharing wine and blood and passion.

k_1

For Regular Humans

You’re cute. I like being with you. I love you.  xoxoxoxox.  I can’t get enough of you. Light my fire or even my BBQ Grill – I’m easy. Love you sweetie pie!

S030946

For Ghosts

In life love was just a dream like mist or a phantom.

Now it is real even though nothing else is.

Through the centuries we drifted,

Only to meet at night, haunting the truth and reality of life,

To find love in death and tragedy,

And hope that will never make sense,

But it is ours and ours alone.

You haunt me to my very soul,

The spirit of our love lives anew.

dancing in the dark

So get out your pen, your pad, your smart phone, your crayon or pencil and write a letter to the one you love.

xoxoxoxox

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Women are funny

My brother Valentine (Val) is one of the “go to” guys for romantic advice for the single Vampire guys in our area. One evening not long ago, while visiting the Ancient Vampires Tellias and Eleora I overheard his discussing women with our friend Matthew.

Matthew, a widower with a teenage son, used to be what we call a “Shadow Creeper,” That is an old fashioned brooding Vampire who lives in the shadows and stopped their clocks in the 19th century. The world is not kind to them and life brings little joy to them. With a small child to raise Matthew decided to join the world of Modern Vampires. It has been an adjustment needless to say.

Valentine: Women are funny.

Matthew: Funny? What do you mean by funny?

Valentine: They have a good sense of humor. They laugh out loud, The tell jokes and make bad puns. It is so cute.

Tellias: Don’t look for coy Matthew or you’ll spend the next 200 years alone.

Matthew looked slightly uncomfortable. “I’m not used to them being so open. There are no formal introductions or rules. It is as if they feel they run the world.

Valentine: They do rule the world.

Tellias: They’ve worked hard to rule the world. But let me tell you something Matthew. Women have worked hard for what they have. They’ve risked their lives and reputations. All the while they’ve taken care of us and of their children…and they take care of those who can’t care for themselves. So if they laugh a little or flirt with an attractive Vampire then let them. Enjoy their forwardness. Savor it.

Valentine: Matthew, aside from eye contact and good hygiene women want a sense of humor. They want a guy who laughs with them, not at them. They want someone who makes them smile. You don’t need to show your fangs.

Tellias: Don’t show your fangs. Never show your fangs.

Valentine: We can talk all night but what you need to do is get out there and just talk to women. Not as a romantic partner but just as friends. Get some practice. There isn’t any hurry.

I listened at the three male Vampires talked about relationships. It wasn’t anything earth shattering or unique. Just three friends, talking about women. Three men who just happen to be Vampires.

Tellias has been with his true love Eleora for 2,000 years. Val has been single but with a healthy appreciation of women. Needless to say he never has to spend a night alone. And with any luck, Matthew will find his way and his heart.

Click here for: Uncle Val’s Advice about Women (for Vampires and everyone else)

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

red heart

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/02/daily-prompt-groupthink/