To The Squirrel I Love

Oh my goodness – the very first entry to the Vampire Maman Love Letter Contest. This is absolutely wonderful and funny and I’m so touched by it. Evil Squirrel has captured the essence of a squirrel in love!

Evil Squirrel's Nest

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To my beloved Agnes,

I still remember every little detail about the instant in time when I first glanced upon your sciurine splendor.  You didn’t see me above you, my dear, but there was no way I could miss the furry goddess whose sparkly black eyes and bristly, fuzzy tail was making my tiny heart go all nutty.  You were the portrait of an exotic arboreal princess.  I didn’t have the courage to approach you… at least not upon my first sighting of your ravishing beauty.  But from that moment on, it was my only mission in life to make you mine.

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The next day, I stealthily perched above the branch on which you were sunning your exquisite physique.  I watched in awe as you delicately and sensually groomed your flowing locks of fur.  I thought of jumping down there to help you pick for fleas and ticks that had…

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