Vampire Diary: Game Day

Dear Diary,

The cat stood at the door. She asked to go out, or I assumed she did from her meowing. I opened the door. She walked away. I’m not playing this game. The door is now open. She doesn’t realize that the cold doesn’t bother me. For a brief moment I reveled in the thought that the cat does not understand Vampires. Then she jumped on the table and bit my hand. She was purring. I do not understand her game. I hate cats.

~ Vlad

 

kitten

 

 

 

 

Dear Diary,

My neighbor took me to a Kings Game. He told me that I was to dress casual and to wear purple if I had it. I wore a purple dress shirt with a black tie and black slacks. The ladies had to rub my arm and smile. Women are so forward now. They said I looked gorgeous.

We arrived at the stadium. The Kings were going to play the Celtics. I missed pageantry and was feeling excited about the spectical.  Every seat in the stadium was full. People wore purple and green. Some had cowbells. A new leader, someone they called the Coach was to be crowned…or at least I thought.

The Celtics were not the Celts I knew of. They were huge, tall men. Some were over seven feet tall. They did not look like Celts.

Then the Kings came out. They were the huge men as the Celtics. I wondered what sort of challenges they would partake in. I saw no weapons.

They played with a ball. They threw it into a basket. At first I didn’t understand why everyone was so excited, then I was swept into the pandemonium. Girls danced. Music played, The crowd cheered. People yelled. Everyone danced. My neighbor’s wife grabbed me and we were on the “hug cam.”

Nobody was killed during or after the game. The losers were not punished. Everyone was happy. I don’t understand. There must be consequences unless this is just a circus show masked as a royal tournament.

~ Vlad

 

Kings vs Celtics

 

Dear Diary,

The spectacle of last night made me think of a story my Baba used to tell. It was long centuries ago when I was a child. It was back when my blood still ran warm and my heart would beat strong in my chest.

Once there was  a prince called Alexander who was betrothed to marry a woman he did not love. This woman was beautiful but she was also shrewish and it was rumored she took many lovers and would continue to do so after marriage. She planned to lock Alexander up and keep him to herself, as her toy. Young Alexander, only 16 years old, wished to be free like the squirrels and other woodland creatures. So on the eve of his wedding to the woman he did not love Alexander fled into the woods. 

Alexander became lost in the deep dark forest. The branches tore at his clothing and hair. He did not know what to do until he heard the sound of clicking and then laughing. Going towards the noise he found himself in a clearing. In the middle of patch of mowed grass was a table. At the table sat a squirrel, a possum, a cat and a snake. They sat around the table with bottles of wine and a cup of dice. 

They looked up at the startled young prince. The cat said in a voice rich with musical tones, “please, Alexander, come sit with us. Come play our game.”

“Tell me the rules,” said the prince.

The squirrel bushed up his tail and turned his head to the side. “First you must tell us your wish. Then we all throw the dice. Those with low scores must take a drink. The player with the high score gets to ask a question of one of the players.”

Alexander thought this was an odd game. “Who wins?” 

“You’ll see,” purred the cat, then she licked her paws and slicked back her whiskers. “What is your wish.”

“I wish to marry for love, eventually. I’m only sixteen,” said Alexander.

They all nodded, even the snake who stared with a flicking tongue and black eyes like polished obsidian. 

The cat motioned for the game to start. The squirrel rolled five, the cat rolled seven, the snake rolled two, the possum rolled eleven and Alexander rolled twelve. 

The snake hissed and rolled it’s eyes, “I win because I rolled my own eyes. I’m also tired of our wine.”

“And we’re tired of your whine,” said the squirrel. He then took the snake by the tail and threw it into the forest. Alexander could hear it cursing and slithering away through the brush.

The all drank big slugs of wine and told Alexander to ask a question of one of them. “I will ask you a question,” he said turning to the possum. “Why do you play dead?”

The possum grinned with sharp teeth and answered, “I play dead because there are Vampires in the woods. I wish to keep my blood so I play dead.”

The squirrel laughed. “Roll the dice.”

The squirrel had the high score of ten. He asked the cat, “Do you like living in the woods.”

The cat slowly closed then opened her bright green eyes. “I love my friends but I wish I had a forever home.” 

The possum started to cry because her answer made him so sad, so they all quickly took a drink and rolled the dice again and again. The game went on for hours until they were all too drunk to play anymore.

In the morning Alexander woke up on the table with the cat sleeping in the crook of his arm. The squirrel was sleeping on a branch above them. The possum was sleeping under the table. The snake had returned and was sleeping curled in a tight coil by the prince’s feet. 

The cat opened her eyes and started to purr. Alexander scratched under her chin. “Who won dear cat?” 

“You did,” said the cat, “but there is a catch. You must take me back to your home in the castle.”

Alexander and the cat said goodbye to their friends and promised to return. 

Upon his return Alexander was greeted with angry words from the woman he was to marry. She pulled him by the ear and slapped his face. When he could take no more he opened his jacket and out jumped the cat. The horrified woman backed away. Her eyes started to water and turn red. Then she sneezed so hard that her brains blew out of her nose and she fell dead upon the floor.

The cat said, “I had heard she was allergic. That is why all cats were banned from the castle as soon as the engagement was announced. Now you can become a man in peace and I will live with you as your cat. I’d like to tell you that I’m really an enchanted woman, but no such luck, I’m just a cat.”

Then the dogs came in and licked up the brains and they lived happily ever after together. And eventually, about ten years later the prince found his true love, and she loved his old cat as much as he did.

And that was the end of the story.

After writing down this story, my cat jumped in my lap. I wondered if she would kill for me. I doubted it.

~ Vlad

 

sunrise woods

 

 

Dear Diary,

Tonight I went out for dinner.

Meals used to involve cunning and seduction. Sometimes meals would involve force and stealth.

Now I go to a local gathering place and women approach me. They smile and tell me I’m cute or gorgeous or dreamy. Their goal is to seduce me. I don’t understand this change in culture but I am not going to complain. Finally there is something about the modern world that I find pleasing.

When I arrived home I put my hand in my coat pocket and to my surprise it contained a pair of dice. In the woods next to my house I could see the glow of eyes and the rustle of leaves in the trees above me.  My cat rubbed against my legs and mewed. The game is on.

~ Vlad

Kissed by a Vampire

 

 

 

 

 

A note about this post:

This is in response to a contest run by Evil Squirrel.

These were the rules:

1. The theme this year is games. I want some form of a game to be involved in your creation. Anything that involves competition between two or more participants is allowed… board games, sports, multiplayer video games, children’s activities… etc.

2. Since we don’t want any solo gaming, your creation must include at least two characters… and they must be at least two different species of animals (and while your entry may contain humans, they do not count towards this two species requirement. Fictional animals, such as unicorns, do count towards this requirement). Note that your creation may have as many characters as you wish, just so long as there’s at least two different animal species represented.

There are a lot of other really great entries. Please check out the link below or CLICK HERE to see all of it.

http://evilsquirrelsnest.com/2015/02/01/the-second-annual-contest-of-whatever/

And thanks ES for another fun contest.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

To The Squirrel I Love

Oh my goodness – the very first entry to the Vampire Maman Love Letter Contest. This is absolutely wonderful and funny and I’m so touched by it. Evil Squirrel has captured the essence of a squirrel in love!

Evil Squirrel's Nest

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To my beloved Agnes,

I still remember every little detail about the instant in time when I first glanced upon your sciurine splendor.  You didn’t see me above you, my dear, but there was no way I could miss the furry goddess whose sparkly black eyes and bristly, fuzzy tail was making my tiny heart go all nutty.  You were the portrait of an exotic arboreal princess.  I didn’t have the courage to approach you… at least not upon my first sighting of your ravishing beauty.  But from that moment on, it was my only mission in life to make you mine.

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The next day, I stealthily perched above the branch on which you were sunning your exquisite physique.  I watched in awe as you delicately and sensually groomed your flowing locks of fur.  I thought of jumping down there to help you pick for fleas and ticks that had…

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Victorian Fashion Trading Cards – Only a love letter away from being yours…

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Do you like quirky and silly and lovely things? Of course you do.

Enter the Vampire Maman Love Letter Writing Contest and YOU, yes YOU, might win one of my fabulous Vampire Maman Victorian Fashion and Interesting Dead People Trading Card Sets.

The photos are from my own personal collection.

I’m still working on the cards so what you see today is a work in progress. What you see here is far from done. The real cards will be wonderful and truly amazing. And nobody else in the world will have them.

For complete information and instructions on how to enter and what to enter the contest CLICK HERE. Yes, CLICK RIGHT HERE.

I’m also giving away coveted WPaD Short Story Anthologies.

But Juliette, what if I don’t have a WordPress blog?  No worries. Just send your love letter to juliettevampiremom@gmail.com and I’ll post it here along with all the others.

You’re only a love letter away from fame, notoriety, a few good books and the joy of sharing your LOVE LETTER with the lovers and romantics of the world.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman 

group set uncut

In progress: an uncut sheet of Vampire Maman Victorian Fashion and Character Trading Cards. I’m still working on graphics and captions.

Enter the 1st Annual Vampire Maman Love Letter Contest

Businessmen, Handsome Gen X

Vampire Maman 1st Annual Love Letter Contest

When the weather gets chilly we think of romance. February is just around the corner. Be bundle up on couches and cuddle more under the sheets. We look at the clear winter sky and think of loves of long ago. And we think “cold hands, warm heart.”

Anyway, I’m having a love letter contest.

Rules:

Create a love letter. It can be written. It can be drawn. It can be a photograph. It can be a video. It can be whatever you want as long as you consider it a love letter and can post it on your blog.

All love letters must contain these three words:

  • Vampire
  • Prism
  • Portrait

It does not have to be about Vampires. You can write it about your own passion, your love, your longing, or long lost dreams or future entanglements or astronauts or bulldogs or ice cream if you want – just include the three words. Vampire. Prism. Portrait.

You can write it to anyone or anything you want. Just let yourself go.

And MOST IMPORTANT: Post it on your blog with a link to THIS POST. I also suggest you add the link to the comments section below to make sure I see it. I tend to be a bit absent minded… and you know how it is. Just help me out here.

But Juliette, what if I don’t have a WordPress blog?  No worries. Just send your love letter to juliettevampiremom@gmail.com and I’ll post it here along with all the others.

PRIZES and AWARDS

Everyone who participates will get fame beyond their wildest dreams.

Everyone who participates will get an electronic “badge” that you can put on your blog or email to your friends or post on your Facebook page. It will show that YOU are a Master Love Letter Writer.

FIRST PLACE:

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Paperback copies of the WPaD books Passions Prisms (signed by me) and a copy of Silk She is by the late Daniel Tanzo. Plus a set of Vampire Maman Victorian Fashion Trading Cards (I make them myself with images from my personal 19th Century photo collection.)

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SECOND PLACE:

possums are never rude

A box full of possums. HA! Just kidding. I wish. The second place winner will receive a signed copy of the WPaD book Goin’ Extinct. I love this book. But there’s more… the Second Place Winner will also receive a set of Vampire Maman Victorian Fashion Trading Cards (I make them myself with images from my personal 19th Century photo collection.)

THIRD PLACE:

Lola

Lola

Will receive his or her very own set of Vampire Maman Victorian Fashion Trading Cards (I make them myself with images from my personal 19th Century photo collection.)

More?

I might also have a few surprise drawings of electronic books from the WPaD group or other odds and ends if a lot of lovely love letter writers participate. I will announce that later.

DEADLINE:

February 10, 2015

WINNERS WILL BE ANNOUNCED:

February 14, 2015

But wait there’s more…

You may enter as many times as you like but only one prize per love letter writer.

I will be sending out reminders and posting links to your blogs as the contest deadline nears.

PLEASE READ ALL OF THE RULES AND FOLLOW THEM.

Vampire Maman is where everyone comes for love letters.

Google “How to Respond to a Love Letter” and you will be directed here. In fact, the most read post on my blog is “How to Respond to a Love Letter.” 

Links to my love letter posts are below:

I want to give a shout out to the Evil Squirrel for stealing his contest ideas. He didn’t have a love letter contest but he had a great contest where participants had to include a Squirrel, a Unicorn and a Possum. My entry is HERE. CLICK HERE. Thanks Evil Squirrel. I didn’t win but it was so much fun that I didn’t care. The winners were amazing and awesome and creative. I mean, isn’t fun the reason we do this stuff? 

And Ms Raani York – famous latter writerI expect an entry from you.

So everybody start thinking romance or love or longing or a nice Vodka Martini… and send me your love… that is love letters.

xoxoxoxox

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Kissed by a Vampire