Pandemic Superhero Zoom – or – Put it OVER Your Nose and Mouth

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“Oh my gosh, Betty, I haven’t seen you in like forever. Not since we went wine tasting. What was that a month after my wedding?”

He looked at the first square to pop up on his Zoom meeting.

“That was it. Six cases of wine and now thanks to the pandemic we’re down to one. Jimmy, you look great. How are you?”

“Good all things considering. Robin is doing better than I expected. He’s changing careers.” A few more boxes popped up.

Mera, Betty, Mary Jane, Vicki, Iris. It was a good showing. They all greeted each other. Only Vicki and Lois were wearing makeup. Everyone looked pretty casual. Betty and Mera were wearing glasses instead of their usual colored contacts.

Jimmy: Vicki, it’s been forever since we’ve seen you? So you’re staying with Bruce I hear.”

Vicki: He asked me. HE asked me if I’d ride out the pandemic with him at his place. I thought it would be fun. That was in March. Four months later I’m ready to head home.”

Betty: Oh honey, I’m surprised he never asked you to marry him. That man needs a wife.”

Vicki: I might as well be his wife. I have to take care of everything for him. And don’t even get me started on Albert. He should have retired years ago. The poor old guy can hardly get his pants on by himself. I’m up all hours of the night. I keep a baby monitor by the bed in case he falls.

Jimmy: Oh man, I’m sorry to hear that. Robin didn’t say anything to me about it.

Vicki: Bruce is driving me crazy. He always has that fucking light on, you know the one with the wings. I tell him to turn it off, so he turns it off, then as soon as I as I go to do something else he has it on again. He isn’t the one who pays the electricity bill. Those big lights cost a fortune to light up the night sky with. Then everyone down below is wondering what the hell is going on. I tell him that but he won’t listen. He just sits up there on the roof all by himself muttering under his breath like some crazy guy hearing voices or something. And don’t even get me started on the mask thing. I keep telling him that it needs to completely cover his nose AND mouth. But does he do it?

All of the women nodded and muttered in agreement.

Lois: I know what you mean. When he’s just Clark and going down to Lowe’s for something or to the grocery story he wears a mask. When he has to go out flying he refuses. That asshole told me that he won’t catch Covid-19. I told him fine, but he could sure as hell carry it and give it to someone else.

Iris: Tell me about it. My man might be faster than anything known to man but when it comes to getting ideas through his thick skull he is slow as three toed sloth.

Mary Jane: My heart goes out to you ladies. Peter never had problems with masks. He love them. He decorated a bunch with spider web designs.

Lois: Peter is so adorable. You’re lucky to have such a sweetie.

Vicki: She is. Oh my God I am so fed up with the brooding. If the sex wasn’t so great…

Jimmy: Let’s keep it clean ladies. TMI.

Vicki: Sorry. I didn’t mean to vent.

Mera: You’re in a safe space Vicki. We’re here for you.

Vicki: Enough about me. How are you doing?

Mera: OK I guess. I miss everyone. We’re staying in the old light house. Here I’ll show you the view. It is spectacular.

Mera picked up her computer and turned the screen towards the ocean. The others could see dolphins dancing and gray whaled leaping into the air.

Lois: Wow Mera, I want to come stay with you.

Mera: Are you working from home?

Lois: Sure am but Clark thinks I’m some old fashioned house wife. The other day he told me all of his tights had holes in them. He expected me to fix them, or else order him some new ones. I told him the only place I could get tights these days in his size was the cross dresser drag queen sites. He got all pissed off at me. I told him to stop being a homophobic turd. I mean, he isn’t homophobic, you know that Jimmy, but sometimes he is so old fashioned it just drives me nuts.

Jimmy: So did you get him some tights?

Lois: Hell no. I told him to REI and get something practical to wear. He can still fly and be Superman without the silly costume. He can wear some climbing gear or bike shorts.

Betty: I think staying at home away from everything has been good for my Bruce. I don’t have the issue with tights, but he sure goes through pants fast when he Hulks up. He hasn’t lost his tempter or stressed out once in the past three months. I can’t even put into words how wonderful that is.

Jimmy: Well, I have news. Robin is changing careers.

All of the women perked up and asked in unison what was going on.

Jimmy: He got into a graduate program at University of California Davis. He’ll be studying ornithology, you know the study of birds. He’ll be Dr. Robin Grayson when he is done.

The ladies all sent their congratulations. For the next hour they talked in their tiny boxes about staying at home with their unique men. Occasionally a dog, a cat, or a child, an elderly relative would wander in and say hello.

When it was all done Jimmy Olson turned off his laptop and when into the kitchen where his husband Robin was fixing dinner.

Jimmy: Did I tell you how much I love you.

Robin: Every day. I love you to. It’s good to feel appreciated.

  1. Stay home
  2. Wear you mask over your nose and mouth
  3. Don’t think you can’t get this thing
  4. Wash your hands
  5. Appreciate those you’re stuck at home with. We’re all doing the best we can.
  6. Most of all don’t forget the real Superheroes during this pandemic.

 

Superheroes

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

Masks

“Did you ever go to Ancient Egypt?”

“No, I didn’t. I guess I should have. The generals going to Britain requested that I go there with them as a form of protection or some sort of nonsense. I didn’t want to go. Not really. Then I started thinking that it was north of Rome, so maybe, just maybe I’d get some information about where I’d come from, you know, originally as a toddler.”

“Do you remember your parents?”

“Not really. I remember I was at a place that was home, there were a lot of trees and people who looked like me, then I remember I was someplace else. You’ve asked me all of this before. I know it seems extremely interesting but I’d like to talk about something else now.” He put his hand on Val’s shoulder. “How are you holding up these days? I see you’ve shaved off your beard. Did you do that on your own volition or did a woman put you up to it?”

Val smiled. “It was my idea. I don’t have a woman in my life right now.”

Tellias patted my brother’s knee as he stood up, “Oh you will, you will. You’ve got a good face. Women like good faces.”

The old Vampire, who looked like a nineteen year old kid, stretched his arms from side to side then, looked over at me. “Don’t you think your brother is handsome without the beard?”

“Indeed I do,” I said.

“Indeed he does look handsome as ever,” said Eleora as she danced into the room carrying a basket full of what looked like colorful scraps of fabric. “And now we shall cover you up. Completely up.”

“Completely,” said Tellias.

He took the basked from Eleora, then danced her around the room. “My love, forever. You are why I’m glad I did not go to ancient Egypt and decided to go with the Romans north. When I saw you dancing on the edge of the cliff with the sound of the waves in the background I knew.”

“You knew,” said the brown haired young women who was really over two thousand years old. “I knew. Now we all know.”

“Yes we do,” said Tellias.

“Now, we shall cover up,” she said grabbing a daisy patterned face mask out of her basket. “I made these yesterday.”

“She made them,” said Tellias.

“Two dozen,” said Eleora.

“Yes, two whole dozen. Twenty four,” said Tellias.

“Twenty four,” said Eleora as she hooked it over Val’s ears. “Now you look quite dashing Valentine. Just be careful not to hook your fangs in it.”

“I’ll do my best,” said Val. “Thanks. This is great.”

“You look good in daisies,” said Tellias. “Here Juliette, take the one with roses on it. Pink roses. It suits your hazel eyes.”

We spend the rest of the afternoon, my brother Val, the elders, and I, over iced tumblers of blood with a squeeze of lime and fresh rosemary sprigs. It was over 100°F but we remained cool and happy to be in each other’s company.

In these times of uncertainty make sure you check in on your elders, and those who might need extra help. Even if you can’t see them in person please make that call, or call their caretakers. Just a few moments of your time can make the world of difference to someone isolated or out of touch.

Be aware of your actions, and that even though you might be alright, there are those who are fragile and by wearing a mask you can help prevent their memories and stories from being lost forever.

  • Wear a mask
  • Wash your hands
  • Call those you love and check in on them
  • Be cool, even in the heat and again, wear your mask.
  • Help others
  • Talk to your kids
  • Be concerned
  • Take this seriously. We’re not all so lucky to be Vampires. Take it seriously.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fights and Tights Don’t Mix!!!! A Vampire’s Advice to Superheroes.

My kids are always asking me “Why do Superheros dress in tights and masks? Why can’t they just be themselves?”

Interesting coming from Vampire teens, but they do have a point.

Dear Superhero,
Why do you wear tights and capes and masks? Isn’t that sort of uncomfortable and really impractical? My kids need an answer.

Love, Juliette

 
We have all have a great time with the big crop of Superhero movies out in the past couple of years. Are you kidding – who doesn’t like Ironman? But then again, unlike other superheros Ironman doesn’t pretend to be somebody else.

 
Come on guys…Why the tights? Why the capes? Why the masks?

The only time we dress funny (Vampires) is on Halloween. Do you honestly think my Vampire husband will trade in jeans and a comfy shirt while watching the World Series (Go Giants) for tails and a red lined cape? Give me a break. I don’t even think either my husband or I have ever even owned a red lined cape.

 

Tights and Fights Don’t Mix

My daughter is in skating and we know how expensive good tights are and how easy it is to rip them. Even a small fall can completely ruin a good pair of tights. It just makes common sense. And believe me, most GUYS don’t want to be wearing tights of any kind, much less capes and masks.

 
Free yourself Superheros – we don’t care who you are or that you have day jobs.

We all wear a lot of hats. Wearing a lot of hats is part of modern life.

Most people I know have no idea I’m a Vampire – but I don’t dress funny when I go out for a hunt. That would be just too silly.

Vampires, Werewolves and others have to hide who we are for obvious reasons – survival being the main reason. But a Superhero? People love them. They don’t need to hide.
I guess that’s why the real heroes don’t wear masks except for safety and sometimes wear uniforms, but they don’t need to hide who they really are. I guess that’s why they’re heroes.