Halloween and Vampire Friends (or friends who aren’t Vampires)



“Teddy and I have been invited to a Harry Potter Party. Why in God’s name our friend chose that theme I’ll never know. Anyway, I was thinking I could find some ugly baggy old sweaters and we could go as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. What do you think?”

He looked at me with shock. OK almost shock. He looked at me like I was the weird kid asking him is he ever ate cat brains, or something along those lines.

“I thought about going as Little Hagrid. Get it? Little Hagrid because he was huge and I’m only 5’4″ and Hagrid was about seven feet tall.”

I've got the moves like Hagrid

I’ve got the moves like Hagrid

I could hear the gears turning in his brain. Vampires going to a costume party? Vampires dressing up like Harry Potter characters? Little Hagrid? WTF?

“It is always funny when a woman wears a beard,” I said as I put more drawings out on the table. “Here are the rest of the sketches. If you like them I’ll finish them up.”

Oh right, this is where I back up and tell you what is going on. Dr. Austin Durant, history professor and sometimes weird Vampire Hunter, but all around normal guy, had hired me to create some drawings for him for a book he is writing. He likes my work, plus I lived back then, in the middle of the 19th Century, granted I was a child at the time.

I shouldn’t have asked him about the costumes. Back to the drawing board, literally.

“The Weasleys would be funny,” he finally said. “I could see that. It would be easy too.”

I smiled minus my fangs. We both turned at the sound of a tap on the door.

Standing there, as impeccably put together and flawlessly handsome as ever, was my friend Jack.

“What are you wearing to the Harry Potter party?” I had to ask. He and his wife aren’t Vampires but they’re going too.

“We’re going as Dobbie and Malfoy,” he said with a wink. Damn, that man was handsome, with blood like the finest Cabernet. Obviously Jack isn’t a Vampire, but a dear friend. I’m his Vampire.

“Oh my God, that is brilliant,” I said.

“I’m going to be Dobbie,” he said. Then we both laughed. You have to admit that is funny. Jack is six feet tall after all.

I introduced Austin and Jack. Austin intuitively knew that Jack wasn’t a Vampire. Austin knows a lot of things, but as cocky as he can get he has never really come to terms with the fact that Halloween has come to his life every single day of the year.

About five years ago Austin Durant started restoring historic structures (old buildings) and has since run across all sorts of nasty old things like dead bodies, dried up old shadow creeping Vampires, and ghosts. My brother Aaron, who is an attorney and a Vampire, is Austin’s attorney and in turn hires Austin for various tasks, like removing unsavory things from buildings.

Anyway, enough of background material and back to Halloween.

Jack fawned over my sketches and marveled at my talent. My stomach started to rumble (nobody could hear it but I could feel it.) I’d have to wait for lunch. Lunch was Jack.

Life is full of such moments.

Halloween is almost here and I have yet to figure out costumes, put up decorations, figure out logistics of parties, and most of all think up a yearly Halloween theme for this blog.

In the meantime you can read THIS. Available at fine online booksellers.


Or you can cut and color paper dolls for Halloween.

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

Or go look for Halloween Hotties.



Jack had to get back to work. Austin looked at the drawings for a bit more. His next class wasn’t until 2:00.  I watched him look at the details I’d added, just small things like a cat sitting in on a roof, or a style of hat.

He looked up and straight into my eyes, a dangerous thing if I’m in the right mood, which I wasn’t. “You could offer so much. You were there. You have gone through history. You’ve seen it your own eyes.”

“Do you think anyone would listen?” I asked him that obvious question. “Nobody cares about history. They would rather keep making the same mistakes over and over. They’d rather do what is easy. They’d rather not know the truth.” I locked his eyes with mine. I could feel him feel a slight panic. That was intentional. He brought out the Vampire in me. You know, I can’t be all touchy feelie nice all the time. “Dr. Durant, I don’t want to end up a dried up husk of a Vampire underneath one of your buildings so I will continue to keep my thoughts to myself.”

Then I thought about my blog… HA HA HA. But I don’t have to worry about you. Out of my seven regular readers at least two of you are Vampires and I’m sure at least one is a Zombie.  Anyway…

“You could share with me, just me,” said Austin.

“Yes, I could. I’ll draw it for you. I’ll tell you my stories so you can get a better understanding, as long as you only use my words for a stepping off point, or for inspiration.”

“Thank you Juliette,” he said to me. He looked calm and cool. I could feel him wanting to sweat it out.

“So what are you going to be for Halloween?” I had to ask.

“I don’t know, maybe a Vampire.” He flashed a dimpled smile. I knew why the girls all liked him.

So that is it for now. Have fun and well, have fun. That is the goal for today. And do something creative. And hug your kids. And talk to them. Always talk to your kids.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


Oh, one more thing. For more about Austin and his story see the side bars for the Austin and Elizabeth story links. For more about Jack just search for his name. Yes, this is the old back story ploy not that anyone will really look.



Random Ramblings on Romance

middle age romanceI was in my car, driving to the post office to drop off my taxes to the real blood suckers, not really thinking about anything except the sound of the voice on the radio. I wasn’t even listening to his words. You know how it is when you’re in your own thoughts and everything else is sort of a blur. At the light right before the strip mall with the post office I saw a couple on the side of the road.

They were typical white trash. Oh don’t get offended. If you know where I live you know who I’m talking about. There are two main streets that divides the two communities. One is tree lined and lovely upscale. The other is an almost treeless jumble of strip malls, auto shops, tattoo parlors, massage parlors and bars, restaurants, and other assorted small businesses. The businesses are ok – the look of everything is awful and run down.

So I’m driving down the side without the trees and saw a couple walking along. He looked was scruffy and skinny with a gray beard and loose blue flannel shirt and pants that were sort of baggy. She had squeezed junior sized clothing onto her square shaped middle-aged body. A sleeveless black shirt was sort of twisted across her arms and showed the flash of a red bra under the sleeve. The too short and too tight of a skirt showed off pale skinny legs. She almost hobbled in low heels, running a hand to brush back her straw-like over processed hair.

They’d been to the store and maybe out to lunch. There might have been a car that wasn’t running, or had been borrowed by a friend or relative. They might have had DUIs. One thinks about that when you see people like them walking on the side of the road. They could have just had an environmentally conscious moment and decided to walk, despite the heavy winds. He looked like he was about sixty years old. She looked around fifty (a well worn fifty.) I knew they were both in their early forties. And she looked pissed at him, maybe because they were out walking rather than driving, but it could have been anything.

They’d no doubt met right after high school. Years of drinking, smoking cigarettes, pot, meth and assorted other things hadn’t helped their looks. No doubt they had kids who’d either moved out and on as quick as they could or moved back in with grandchildren of unknown parentage. But from what I could see they’d been together forever and would be together forever as each other’s old man and old lady.

Easy targets for a Vampire but I leave their kind alone. I wouldn’t fit into their world if I came lurking around. It would be hard for me to even pretend. I could, but…

My brother Max has always been so judgmental of the romantic lives of others. He is judgmental of things not romantic too. That is just Max. He is also protective of what he thinks is his, and that includes his family members. I find that extremely hypocritical considering what an asshole he is when it comes to relationships. He goes after women who mess with him and use the ones who could love him with a measure of honesty, but that is another post.

I had stopped by the home of the Elders, Tellias and Eleora, the ancient Vampires I watch over. They’re out on a farm by the river in the Queen Ann style mansion they build one hundred and thirty years ago. Sometimes other family members will come stay with the fragile old couple to make sure they’re alright. I can’t always get down there myself. After much begging I convinced others to help me out.

When I arrived I saw that Lola, was staying in the cottage she’d made into her second home (sort of.)

Cody’s Prius was parked in front of Lola’s cottage next to her Tesla. For obvious reasons Vampires love their hybrid and electric cars.

Let me step back for a second for my readers who are new here. Cody is a 30 something Vampire. Lola was born in 1342. She is also my great great great grandmama.

Lola’s parents looked sort of like this:

Lola's parents might have looked like this. I'm digging that man-dress.

Lola’s parents might have looked like this. I’m digging that man-dress.











Cody’s parents looked sort of like this around the time he was born:

All the girls wanted a guy like this - but  more a DRESS like this. I like the little flower details and the hecka big veil. Yes, these two look a lot like our young Cody's parents.

All the girls wanted a guy like this – but more a DRESS like this. I like the little flower details and the hecka big veil. Yes, these two look a lot like our young Cody’s parents.










Max thinks they shouldn’t be together. He thinks Cody is too young for Lola, even though she looks much younger than Cody. But Max, Mr. Alpha Uber Vampire, can sit in a corner and sulk for all I care. I’m just happy that Cody and Lola are happy when they spend time together.

Just as I was getting out of my car Max pulled up in his black SUV with his giant wolfhound mix dogs. He looked over at the cottage then glared back at me.

“Don’t even say it. Don’t even think it,” I hissed at him.

When we got up to the farmhouse Eleora and Tellias greeted us with hugs and kisses, then more hugs and kisses. Then as always they sang a little song to greet us.

Night time sharpens,
Heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination
Silently the senses
Abandon their defenses

Slowly gently, night unfurls
Its splendour
Grasp it, sense it,
Tremulous and tender

Turn your face away
From the garish light of day,
Turn your thoughts away
From cold unfeeling light
And listen to the music of the night

It is always something random and unexpected. Phantom of the Opera today – Metallica or Gregorian Chants tomorrow. One never knows.

“Do you know Cody is at the cottage with Lola?” Max asked the elderly Vampires as if they’d actually take his side on the issue.

“Yes Cody. We adore Cody,” said Tellias.

“We adore him,” said Eleora.

“He took to Vampiring right away,” continued Tellias.

“Right away, like he was born to it,” said Eleora.

“Never spills a drop of blood,” said Eleora.

“Never,” said Tellias.

“Never,” said Eleora.

“Cody is smart,” said Tellias.

“Smart as smart can be,” said Eleora.

“Brilliant,” said Tellias.

“Absolutely,” said Eleora.

“We like Cody a lot,” said Tellias.

“Yes we do,” said Eleora.

“He makes Lola happy,” said Tellias.

“Poor dear deserves a bit of happiness,” Eleora.

“It makes her less dramatic if you know what I mean,”said Tellias.

“You’d be less dramatic Maxwell if you had love in your life,” said Eleora.

“Real love,” said Tellias.

“True love,” said Eleora. Then she took Max by the arm and kissed him on the cheek.

My brother looked slightly annoyed but defeated. He can’t win an argument with those two. They wear him out. Plus at over 2,000 years old they know what they are talking about.

With true love you need to look for someone who will go to Hell and back with you. You need someone who is willing to build something with you. For Max it is all fluff and the chase. It is about controlled passions and high expectations.

In reality love can’t always be explained. If there is love and respect and romance then let it happen. If it doesn’t work then move on. If it does then you have something wonderful.

There was no dramatic wrap up to the story. Lola walked into the kitchen to get coffee and gave me a kiss on the cheek. She gave Max a hug and then shook her head at him and whispered, “Mind your own business.”

Next Cody staggered in and filled his mug as well. Of course he is clueless of how Max feels but that is OK. Max needs another hobby.

More on school, teens and parenting stuff will be here later today. Have a good one everyone.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman









About those pesky undead folks…

“I thought you were dead.”

“Well technically…I was, a while back, but not anymore. But we all know that it is not the heart but the brain that determines if one is dead or not. That and the presence of a soul. Then again there are those without souls as well. I’d recommend we all stay clear of them. Nasty nasty nasty.” Ramona always had a way of explaining things that made one sit back and worry – that is if you’re human.

So where was I? I should just yell “TURN BACK” because I’m going to ramble now.

My husband deals in antiquities, among other things. He has an office in an old 19th Century building that he guards with a security system from Hell and a service involving several creatures of less than savory lifestyles. He has a staff of four, all Vampires, all experts and very discreet. They don’t do anything illegal but they don’t parade their business around. Ramona and Laurence have worked for him for decades. Camille and Henry started last year.

So when Austin the Hipster Hunter of Vampires saw Teddy’s assistant Ramona and said “I thought you were dead,” she answered him with, “I was, a while back, but not anymore.”  A while back was 1899. Then again he saw her in a morgue about 5 years ago as cold as death and thought she was, well, dead. But that is another story for another time.

I’d stopped by the shop to drop something off to Teddy. Austin, whom I’d met through my brother Aaron was coming in at the same time. Fancy that. A Vampire and a Vampire Hunter go into a “fill in the blank” location of your choice.

Teddy had a necklace that had belonged to a woman who lived in a historic home Austin was restoring. That is why he was there. Austin seemed surprised to see me – a Vampire in broad daylight (sunscreen and transition lenses) going into the same establishment.

So needless to say as we walked through the door and he saw Ramona it was a surprise. They had their little exchange then I gently put my hand on his arm and said, in a private whisper, “Everyone here except you is a Vampire my dear.”

i could feel his arm tense up, maybe to my cold touch or the sound of my calm voice, or just the world Vampire. The Vampires he deals with are the musty old dead things that lurk around basements, abandoned buildings and crypts, living like they’re from a silent horror movie rather and the modern world. They’re more or less soulless vermin. I’m glad someone is getting rid of them – better him than me. I don’t want to deal with those creatures.

“Don’t be uncomfortable.” I told him.

“I’m not uncomfortable, just surprised. A little scared.” He gave me a quick smile, the kind that cute charming guys give when they’re letting you know that they’re feeling in control, even when they aren’t. Ramona looked at us and gave a quick smile back, a sparkle in her large dark eyes.

“No need to be frightened,” I said. “We’re not going to harm you. Remember Austin, we’re on your side. Well, as long as you behave yourself.”

“Austin always behaves,” said Ramona walking him over and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

At that point my husband Teddy comes out and even Austin is taken aback. Teddy is the most handsome man (Regular Human or Vampire) most people have ever seen. After introductions they go into the back room talk about the necklace but there is always an underlying discomfort in the room.

Then I hear Austin laugh and Teddy after him. The chill and the mystery is gone.

After we were all done with out business I walked out with Austin. He’d worked with my brother Aaron the attorney, that is how I met him. He’d heard of my brother Max, because Max hunts Vampire Hunters and rogue Vampires. Maxwell Todd is a legend in both the Regular and Vampire worlds. He is also feared in both worlds.

Austin had no idea that I had two more brothers or that Teddy was my husband. He had no idea Teddy was a Vampire before today. After dealing with the nasty creepy crawler variety of Vampire, Austin was just learning about my kind – the sophisticated Modern Vampire. We’re not a threat, usually.

Austin and people like you, my dear reader, are the few who know about us. And that said, if you saw me on the street you’d have no idea.

I’d started this post with the intention of telling my kids about what to do when you run into someone you used to know and if you’d let them know it was you. What I’m talking about is those situations when you knew someone in 1952 and you run into them and they’re a bit older and you haven’t aged at all. You can say you’re a daughter or grandson or just look puzzled or… the other choice isn’t usually an option.

But my afternoon was more interesting with Austin who is such a nice guy and he really never intended to be a Vampire Hunter. It just happened. Life is like that.

My husband never intended to be a Vampire. I was born that way through a strange chance of genetics and other stranger things I can’t really explain here.

I believe there is a lot of “chance” in life. Most things just happen, not for a reason. Of course that excludes things we choose to do and make happen. Then there are those rare few things that might be “meant to be” like love at first sight or the right cat needing a home. I feel that way about my children, but with the magic of genetics and the gene pool lottery a lot of “chance” was involved.

So by chance a guy walked into a door to check out an antique necklace that had once belonged to the owner of a house he was restoring – and finds himself with five Vampires – and nothing happened.

Anyway, happy Friday everyone and have a good weekend.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


Kissed by a Vampire

An afterthought for another post: I’m always surprised at the amount of fun one can have with a fake snake.

Plus I’ve posted a lot more about Vampire Hunters, my brother Max and general Vampire stuff. Just do a search of this blog and you’ll find hundreds of posts on the subject (better than this one I’ll guarantee.)

Disclaimer: This post needs a lot of editing but just read it and fill in the blanks and edit it in your head. I have a few other deadlines I have to get to. Thanks for understanding and reading my crappy writing.



Rise and shine… even in the dark

Monday Musings and Random Ramblings





Monday  brings a promise of rain and a lot of work today for this working Vampire Maman. Not mom work but work-work. There is always mom work – that is a given.

Rain is good since we are in the midst of a drought. This is one of many droughts I’ve lived through so it isn’t as surprising or as startling as the news reports make it out to be. Yes, it is indeed serious, but not unexpected or new.

While my talents as an artist are being called upon, I fear I cannot share that work here. I can only my own personal work, not that which I’m paid to do for others.

As a creative professional, be it writing, art, music, design or acting we must all do what we need to do with no explanation to others. By working for others and being paid for it we are not selling out. We are making a living doing what we do best.

I don’t believe in suffering for my art. I don’t think anyone should suffer doing anything that involves their creative talents. Really. Of course we all must pay our dues and that can seem like suffering, but I don’t want to live in a damp basement drawing dark images and making friends with rats (who might have a car I can borrow) no more than I want to sleep in a coffin in a crypt. I’d much rather be drawing my dark images in a nice warm house with a nice cup of coffee and the sound of teens laughing in the background. I’ll leave the angst to the teens, but while we’re at it I’d just rather do away with angst in everyone – old and young.

And why yes, Vampires do drink coffee. Werewolves howl twice as much if they don’t get their share of the stuff.

There is no room in my life for angst. I’m not Little Mary Sunshine – far from it, but I’ve wasted too many years with angst and related nonsense. It is time to wake up and smell the drawing paper and get more RAM in my computer. It is time to shine, even in the darkness, even with Vampires.

Darkness, come to think about it, has nothing to do with the time of day. Dark is a state of mind. But one can make dark into something beautiful with hues of black and purple. It can be in the color of deep brown expressive eyes. It can be the beauty of shadows. It can be the depth of a river that can either take or give depending on what you see and how you choose to see it.

But enough musings (and general BS.)

It is Monday, a busy time and a good time… for coffee and rain and star gazing and life.

Wishing you all a good week.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman