About those pesky undead folks…

“I thought you were dead.”

“Well technically…I was, a while back, but not anymore. But we all know that it is not the heart but the brain that determines if one is dead or not. That and the presence of a soul. Then again there are those without souls as well. I’d recommend we all stay clear of them. Nasty nasty nasty.” Ramona always had a way of explaining things that made one sit back and worry – that is if you’re human.

So where was I? I should just yell “TURN BACK” because I’m going to ramble now.

My husband deals in antiquities, among other things. He has an office in an old 19th Century building that he guards with a security system from Hell and a service involving several creatures of less than savory lifestyles. He has a staff of four, all Vampires, all experts and very discreet. They don’t do anything illegal but they don’t parade their business around. Ramona and Laurence have worked for him for decades. Camille and Henry started last year.

So when Austin the Hipster Hunter of Vampires saw Teddy’s assistant Ramona and said “I thought you were dead,” she answered him with, “I was, a while back, but not anymore.”  A while back was 1899. Then again he saw her in a morgue about 5 years ago as cold as death and thought she was, well, dead. But that is another story for another time.

I’d stopped by the shop to drop something off to Teddy. Austin, whom I’d met through my brother Aaron was coming in at the same time. Fancy that. A Vampire and a Vampire Hunter go into a “fill in the blank” location of your choice.

Teddy had a necklace that had belonged to a woman who lived in a historic home Austin was restoring. That is why he was there. Austin seemed surprised to see me – a Vampire in broad daylight (sunscreen and transition lenses) going into the same establishment.

So needless to say as we walked through the door and he saw Ramona it was a surprise. They had their little exchange then I gently put my hand on his arm and said, in a private whisper, “Everyone here except you is a Vampire my dear.”

i could feel his arm tense up, maybe to my cold touch or the sound of my calm voice, or just the world Vampire. The Vampires he deals with are the musty old dead things that lurk around basements, abandoned buildings and crypts, living like they’re from a silent horror movie rather and the modern world. They’re more or less soulless vermin. I’m glad someone is getting rid of them – better him than me. I don’t want to deal with those creatures.

“Don’t be uncomfortable.” I told him.

“I’m not uncomfortable, just surprised. A little scared.” He gave me a quick smile, the kind that cute charming guys give when they’re letting you know that they’re feeling in control, even when they aren’t. Ramona looked at us and gave a quick smile back, a sparkle in her large dark eyes.

“No need to be frightened,” I said. “We’re not going to harm you. Remember Austin, we’re on your side. Well, as long as you behave yourself.”

“Austin always behaves,” said Ramona walking him over and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

At that point my husband Teddy comes out and even Austin is taken aback. Teddy is the most handsome man (Regular Human or Vampire) most people have ever seen. After introductions they go into the back room talk about the necklace but there is always an underlying discomfort in the room.

Then I hear Austin laugh and Teddy after him. The chill and the mystery is gone.

After we were all done with out business I walked out with Austin. He’d worked with my brother Aaron the attorney, that is how I met him. He’d heard of my brother Max, because Max hunts Vampire Hunters and rogue Vampires. Maxwell Todd is a legend in both the Regular and Vampire worlds. He is also feared in both worlds.

Austin had no idea that I had two more brothers or that Teddy was my husband. He had no idea Teddy was a Vampire before today. After dealing with the nasty creepy crawler variety of Vampire, Austin was just learning about my kind – the sophisticated Modern Vampire. We’re not a threat, usually.

Austin and people like you, my dear reader, are the few who know about us. And that said, if you saw me on the street you’d have no idea.

I’d started this post with the intention of telling my kids about what to do when you run into someone you used to know and if you’d let them know it was you. What I’m talking about is those situations when you knew someone in 1952 and you run into them and they’re a bit older and you haven’t aged at all. You can say you’re a daughter or grandson or just look puzzled or… the other choice isn’t usually an option.

But my afternoon was more interesting with Austin who is such a nice guy and he really never intended to be a Vampire Hunter. It just happened. Life is like that.

My husband never intended to be a Vampire. I was born that way through a strange chance of genetics and other stranger things I can’t really explain here.

I believe there is a lot of “chance” in life. Most things just happen, not for a reason. Of course that excludes things we choose to do and make happen. Then there are those rare few things that might be “meant to be” like love at first sight or the right cat needing a home. I feel that way about my children, but with the magic of genetics and the gene pool lottery a lot of “chance” was involved.

So by chance a guy walked into a door to check out an antique necklace that had once belonged to the owner of a house he was restoring – and finds himself with five Vampires – and nothing happened.

Anyway, happy Friday everyone and have a good weekend.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Kissed by a Vampire

An afterthought for another post: I’m always surprised at the amount of fun one can have with a fake snake.

Plus I’ve posted a lot more about Vampire Hunters, my brother Max and general Vampire stuff. Just do a search of this blog and you’ll find hundreds of posts on the subject (better than this one I’ll guarantee.)

Disclaimer: This post needs a lot of editing but just read it and fill in the blanks and edit it in your head. I have a few other deadlines I have to get to. Thanks for understanding and reading my crappy writing.

 

 

7 thoughts on “About those pesky undead folks…

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