Time Travelers – Messing with their minds as only a Vampire can.

The one thing that bothers my mother more than Ghosts are Time Travelers.

Time Travelers are like those pretentious fools who show up at a Civil War reenactment or a Dickens’ Christmas Fair dressed in their Star Fleet Command uniforms (Spock and Kirk) expecting everyone to ohhhhh and ahhhh over them and tell them “You’re so smart. Your mother must be proud of you.” It is only fun for those in the wrong costumes.

For Vampire teens the curiosity for Time Travelers is great. This has to do with the fact that they know they’re not supposed to talk to them and that they, the Time Travelers are both foolish and dangerous. And seeking out Time Travelers for any other purpose than to stop them (as only a Vampire can) is also foolish and dangerous.

They are usually dishonest and traveling with stolen technology. Honestly do you believe a man born in 1959 could have invented a time machine that works? He’ll tell you he did but he more than likely killed the original owner or obtained the machine through other dishonest means. More than likely the time machine wasn’t even from this solar system (most aren’t).

I know this sounds far fetched, and it is, but hey, H. G. Wells was laughing all the way to the bank on that one.

There has always been a fascination with time travel. Who wouldn’t want to go back into the past or know what the future holds?

Vampires don’t have a problems with the concept of time travel. It is the Time Travelers we don’t like.

They come along never clean or dirty enough for the period, their costume and language always wrong, trying to blend in and trying to make things better or worse. Time Travelers think they have high moral compass and know what is right for everyone. They have no idea. There are the few honest historians of the lot…I take that back…the honest ones are only in fiction. The real Time Travelers are sick and twisted individuals who go where they aren’t invited and don’t care who they screw with.

They think they can meet Queen Victorian or Hitler or Cleopatra and change the world, or gain riches or power or whatever it is they’re after.

As Vampires it is our job to screw with Time Travelers. 

My mother is the best at that. She is the best at spotting Time Travelers. She can literally smell them

She’ll tell them “Meet me at Gold Beach in 50 years.” Then she’ll show up unchanged. Then the hunt begins. They might as well be chased by dinosaurs. At least with dinosaurs they’d have a chance.

Mom is no cold-blooded killer.  This is done for the good of all mankind. My mom is amazing that way. I love my mom.

Last week, when I was so busy I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown, my mom calls me and says “Darling daughter I’m in town, meet me at the house.” The house is the Victorian house my family built in 1870. We still own it and use it when we’re in downtown Sacramento. My parents live in San Francisco (90 miles to the West) and I wasn’t expecting a visit.

“What’s this about” I asked knowing it was something. It is always something with mom.

“I have a Time Traveler and it is his time.” I could hear the glee in her voice. By saying it was “his time” means that he isn’t time traveling, he is back in his OWN time. Always the best time to catch one of the sneaky little bastards.

But there was a problem. “Mom I have Clara with me.”

“Bring her along. It’s about time she learned about these vermin.”

“She’s only 13.” I said knowing Cara would want to come along, but I wasn’t ready to expose my daughter to this yet.

“Don’t be late Juliette.”

My mom is one of the most successful Vampires I’ve ever met. She is charming and lovely, cunning and deadly. Born in the early 1600’s she has been through hundreds of years of human history and still enjoys the company of all sorts of people.

With that said she also sees herself as an avenging angel against the forces that regular humans know nothing of (they only imagine it). That includes Time Travelers.

So I show up at the house only to come up the walk the same time as a nice looking guy with gray temples and the smile of a man expecting to get laid.

He looks at me as if surprised. Mom opens the door and welcomes us in.

I could go into the witty dialog and clever conversations, but what it came down to was that we all had a lovely lunch. Mom’s friend won’t be doing much time traveling anytime in the future…or in the past.

~ Juliette


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