My kids don’t care if you hate their music for no reason. They DO care if you hate people for no reason.

This post is in honor and memory of everyone who has every celebrated the wonders of creativity, being different, being yourself and finding joy in those who are different. And sticking to what you believe is right  and standing up for those who need someone to stand up for them.

What is it about young people that they are so quick to judge and call names?  And no offense, but I’ve seen this is especially strong among Middle School boys (girls too but they tend to do it behind backs in a nasty back stabbing sort of way). Why are they so threatened about someone who doesn’t share their taste in clothing or music? Why are they so quick to call another kid (their words not mine) a fag or lesbo? They do it right out in the open with no shame. Kids are hurt. Other kids tell them to stop it but they keep it up.

My daughter (age 13, 8th grade) recently told me about a very sad event – Mitch Luker the lead singer of the band Suicide Silence  was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was a young father as well, leaving behind a daughter he adored. Immediately the hate posts started to go up calling him and Emo Queer and all sorts of ugly names and saying he deserved what he got. It was so hateful and there was absolutely no reason for it. Of course there were many more kind memorials but the haters shocked even me. But the haters “normal” teens, not a bunch of back woods inbred Jeds. It was horrible.

My kids don’t listen to a lot of Suicide Silence but some of their friends do. They all follow the bands and closely follow the music industry. They talked about it. They were sad abut what happened to Mitch Luker, but they were horrified about mean spirited reaction on social media from teen haters making a sad event into an opportunity to hate.

Today my daughter told me kids were calling Panic at the Disco members a bunch of “Emo Freaks” or “Emo Fags”. Really? I’m an adult and I think they ‘re creative and different and I’m glad my kids listen to them instead of all the mindless soul-less crap on the radio. I would LOVE to go to one of their concerts.

But why do people HATE anyone who is creative and different in an artistic way? I just don’t get it and I’ve been around a long long time.

Emo is the last thing I’d think of with this band but tell me…what is wrong with Emo kids? My kids are not Emo, but they know kids who are and the Emo kids are fine. They don’t threaten anyone. They aren’t the ruin of the modern world. Ths same goes for gay kids. Why the attacks there? Why does it bother them? Just like fat kids, slow kids, kids with a different religion or sexual preference, odd-looking kids, shy kids, or any other different kid of kids aren’t going to hurt anyone. In fact those kids have A LOT to contribute – far more than the haters do.

HATERS contribute NOTHING to the world. Absolutely NOTHING.

Sure there are bands I don’t like but (as an adult) I’m not going to spray paint my friends BMW’s with the words “Neil Young SUCKS” or some other stupid thing. I just let them listen to their own music and  I listen to mine. It doesn’t make them a hippy freak. It doesn’t make me an idiot. It just makes us people who like  different kinds of music.

AND THAT is what we need to teach our children. IT IS OK TO LIKE DIFFERENT THINGS. But it is NOT OK to HATE people just because they have different likes, tastes, lifestyles or hairstyles.

It is OK to despise bullies, meanies, haters, gossips and immature turds. It is OK to stand up for friends who are different. It is ok to be friends with someone who is different.

After so many centuries you’d think that humans would finally “get it”. But they don’t and they don’t teach their children to “get it” either.

Darwin was wrong – it isn’t the survival of the fittest but the survival of the meanest. And that needs to stop NOW.

Luckily my son Garrett (age 16) and his best friends Randy and Zoe are Vampires. They don’t take crap from anyone. As extremely popular and successful high school students they’ll walk up to bullies and haters and say “Cut it out NOW” and the bullies and haters WILL cut it out. But not everyone is a Vampire, and not all schools have Vampire teens there to stand up for them.

Unfortunately all kids don’t feel comfortable standing up for what they believe is right, but they should. This is one case where no matter what – doing the right thing is ALWAYS the right thing.

This isn’t about music or lifestyle or personal preferences – it is about acceptance of things that are different and people who are different. It is about what makes life worth living – and that is creativity and the freedom of personal expression, and accepting the personal freedoms of others.

On a good note, I see a lot of kids standing up for what is right. I see them showing sensitivity, not blindly, but as smart and informed young adults. I see them standing up for “doing the right thing.” There is hope in this young generation. It is our job as adults to support them.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter” – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

____________________________________

A Note from Wikipedia:

By 2011, Suicide Silence began preparing their third full-length album in Big Bear, California with Steve Evetts as the selected producer.[28][29] During March, the group performed at California’s Metalfest, and a week later, Nevada’s Extreme Thing festivals,[30] at both of these performances, the band confirmed that the new album would be titled The Black Crown.[31] Working titles for the album were “Cancerous Skies”, “Human Violence” and “Fuck Everything”.[32] When asked by Kerrang!, Lucker revealed that the album’s lyrical themes would feature more of the personal topics that No Time to Bleed had in-concept rather than the anti-religious theme that The Cleansing held. Lucker explained “I still have the same beliefs and same views, but I’m more open to everything. At this point in my life, I don’t see the good in making people hate you for something you say. This record [The Black Crown] is for everybody.”[31] The song “Human Violence” premiered on radio station Liquid Metal on May 13, 2011.[33] The Black Crown was released on July 12, 2011 and sold over 14,400 copies in the United States alone during its first week of release, which had it debuting at position number 28 on the Billboard 200 chart.[8][34]

On November 1, 2012, it was announced by Orange County Coroners Office that Mitch Lucker had died from injuries incurred from a motorcycle accident. The coroner’s office said Lucker was “pronounced dead at 6:17 a.m. Thursday at UCI Medical Center in Orange County”. One report stated that Lucker crashed his motorcycle shortly after 21:00 on October 31.[36][37][38]

An official status was also posted on the band’s Facebook page. It said:

“There’s no easy way to say this. Mitch passed away earlier this morning from injuries sustained during a motorcycle accident. This is completely devastating to all of us and we offer our deepest condolences to his family. He will be forever in our hearts. R.I.P. Mitchell Adam Lucker – We Love You Brother.”

On December 21st, 2012, a memorial show to benefit Kenadee Lucker’s future education costs was held at the Fox Theatre in Pomona, CA. The show was titled “Ending is the Beginning: Mitch Lucker Memorial Show”[39] as a reference to both an early song from the band[40] as well as acknowledging the transitional period for the band following Mitch’s death. The show itself featured the members of Suicide Silence performing songs from each of the bands releases with a different guest vocalist performing with the band for each song.[41] In addition to the memorial show, the band started the Kenadee Lucker Education Fund and continues to promote donations towards Mitch’s daughter.

Go to Suicidesilence.net for more information on the college fund for Kenadee Lucker.

Mitch Luker and daughter

Mitch Luker and daughter

16 thoughts on “My kids don’t care if you hate their music for no reason. They DO care if you hate people for no reason.

  1. Pingback: My kids don’t care if you hate their music for no reason. They DO care if you hate people for no reason. « West Coast Review

  2. Despite the 50 years that have passed since the 1960s I still get a lot of stick from people I don’t know for daring to be a man with long hair. You’d think with the passing of hippies, rockers, punks, goths, emos etc people would no longer be bothered by something like that.

  3. J, I guess I’m so out of touch, since we don’t have teens in the house anymore, that I don’t know the contemporary terms. Yeah, I know different, and gay, and slow, etc., but what is “EMO”? That’s a new one to me. I agree with everything you said in your post (and some you didn’t say). Middle school kids ARE the most difficult. I think it’s a combination of hormones, puberty, and ignorance. They don’t have the knowledge and experience yet to deal with people and situations that are “different” and not the accepted norm, so they lash out without any thought of the results of their ranting, bullying, and deprications. They don’t stop to think of what it would be like to be on the receiving end of this type of behavior. Who teaches them to be like this? Some of it is parents who are like this, the friends they keep…, their chosen social environment. I can only hope that there are enough of the right type of young people to lead us out of this societal morass that has overtaken the world we live in. Great post, J.
    Paul

    • So from what I would say the majority of people my age (teenagers) think “emo” is, is a person who self harms and is depressed all the time and wears a lot of black. Now if I meet someone who is like that I think nothing of it and don’t judge them at all and think of them as normal humans on the other hand the majority of teenagers don’t think that way, they think of them as attention whores freaks, faggs, or people who should just end there lives already. It truly is horrible and I hate that label and what it has turned into. And let me tell you being called an emo freak does hurt my friends and I would know from experience. So many people though are so ignorant….they never stop and think “hey will I be hurting someone by saying this?”. I hope things can change and people can start thinking differently. I know for sure when I have kids one day I am going to raise them to except all people unless given a reason not to and give everybody a chance before judging them and deciding weather you like them or not.

      • You are absolutely right. Thank you so much for your comment. Self harm and teen depression are huge issues that kids talk about all the time (and adults seem to ignore the issue).

  4. The kids consider Emo as “emotional” or sensitive. Like the Goth kids they tend to dress in black but that is where it ends. There are so many groups now, the Goth kids, the Emo kids, the Scene kids, the Beeber fans, the Geeks…under all the clothes, hair and makeup and music they’re all still kids trying to find their own individual way in life.

    From Wikipedia: Emo (pron.: /ˈiːmoʊ/) is a style of rock music characterized by melodic musicianship and expressive, often confessional lyrics. It Emo originated in the mid-1980s hardcore punk movement of Washington, D.C., where it was known as “emotional hardcore” or “emocore” and pioneered by bands such as Rites of Spring and Embrace. As the style was echoed by contemporary American punk rock bands, its sound and meaning shifted and changed, blending with pop punk and indie rock and encapsulated in the early 1990s by groups such as Jawbreaker and Sunny Day Real Estate. By the mid 1990s numerous emo acts emerged from the Midwestern and Central United States, and several independent record labels began to specialize in the style.

    Emo broke into mainstream culture in the early 2000s with the platinum-selling success of Jimmy Eat World and Dashboard Confessional and the emergence of the subgenre “screamo”. In recent years the term “emo” has been applied by critics and journalists to a variety of artists, including multiplatinum acts and groups with disparate styles and sounds.

    In addition to music, “emo” is often used more generally to signify a particular relationship between fans and artists, and to describe related aspects of fashion, culture, and behavior.

    For some background and know where all the badgering comes from see: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=emo

  5. Being different has been me my entire life…
    As a kid I might have been “a freak” – but by now I’m “eccentric”… To me this is a huge difference.
    Yes, I might look normal for many people… but sometimes…
    Being different might not be bad for us – but for kids it might be “death penalty”… this hasn’t changed at all the past decades since I was going to school…

  6. Pingback: EMO | Céad Míle Fáilte

  7. Pingback: What I learned from going to a metal concert with my teen | Vampire Maman

  8. Pingback: Teen Suicides – I wish I had a real answer | Vampire Maman

  9. Pingback: My kids don’t care if you hate their music for no reason. They DO care if you hate people for no reason. | West Coast Review

  10. Pingback: Friendship, coming out, high school, tater tots and other musings on teens, life and love. | Vampire Maman

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