Am I not hip enough for you?

Cody, my new Vampire friend (it will be a year in April that he has become a Vampire) told me I needed to be more “hip”.  Cody is 27. I met him downtown wearing black slacks, heels and a blue jacket with pearls. I can’t wear scarves, sweaters and canvas shoes all the time. Come on, give me a break.

We’re Vampires Cody. V A M P I R E S. Now say it after me “We’re Vampires”.

What Cody? Am I not hip enough for you? All of the teens I know think I’m “hip” and they are the future. And they think I’m funny. They think I’m really funny.

I buy local wine, local organic produce, local blood, local beer, local jewelry and just about anything else that I can get local. I reuse and recycle everything. I listen to indie music. We go to small clubs to listen to that music with our teens. I watch indie films. I drink a lot of coffee and tea. I read indie and self published books. I read poetry. I wear fingerless gloves. I wear flip flops in the winter. I wear a lot of black (but I’m not Goth, but I could be and I can be whatever I want to be despite what you think). AND I’m a graphic designer (a professional graphic designer who uses a MAC).

I garden in my back yard – organically.

All my pets come from a shelter. And they are all spayed and neutered.

We have Ikea furniture but won’t get any more because it is a pain in the ass to put together and too heavy.  We get more stuff off of Craigslist and find cool old antique stuff that we mix and match. We have stuff fixed and we repaint and we repurpose. We’ve always done that.

I don’t do this because I’m trendy, or hip, or even making a statement. I do this because it is the right thing to do. It is what I’ve always done. And I’m not young. I was doing this before you were born. Before your parents were born.

I DO draw the line with living in a small space. I need space. I need MY SPACE. I won’t budge on that one.

My kids were brought up going to a FREE MONTESSORI PUBLIC CHARTER SCHOOL. We live near the FREE PUBLIC WALDORF school, or as we call it the “hippy school” and they have a very happy art filled school. Very cool. We like them.

Montessori is the ultimate in hip education. It is the bomb in hip everything. All kids should go to Montessori schools. Montessori Schools ROCK. Charter schools ROCK.

So don’t look at me and judge me, because you don’t know how hip I am. Yes, I do wear a Rolex and have a Coach bag which I will wear with my old beat up Doc Marten Oxfords. I wear jackets from the 1950’s and sweaters from Target and whatever I can mix and match together with the earrings I get from the local craft fair.

Judging people (as we learn in the Montessori school) is totally and completely UNHIP. So don’t do it. That means YOU Cody. Ahhh you have so much to learn young man.

And I write a blog. A blog about parenting from a Vampire Maman (mom) point of view but this applies to all mom’s and all parents and all teens. Enough said.

So today’s list (with bullets) is:

  • You don’t have to be hip.
  • Do what is right – not what is popular
  • Wear what you want.
  • It is ok to be hip.
  • It is ok not to be hip. (There is a song about that. Look it up)
  • It is ok to be old.
  • It is ok to be young.
  • It is ok to wear ugly hats if you want to (but I don’t advise it.)
  • Or like the man sings – you can leave your hat on.
  • It is ok to be yourself even if your friends aren’t you (think about it.)
  • It is not ok to judge or feel like you are morally profound, unless you are a saint. And I know you are not a saint.
  • Sometimes it is ok to vent even if some people will think you’re an a_hole.
  • Everyone will eventually be hip somewhere in the space/time continuum.
  • Not everyone is going to be like you and it is fun to have friends who are not like you. Really. Take my word on it.
  • My daughter has a shirt with a picture of a cat on it wearing a knit hat. Our cats won’t wear hats.
  • Cats will always be hip.
  • Flying Squirrels will always be hip – they’re beyond hip.
  • Listen to your mom.


On more of a fun note…and I don’t mean to judge. When we look up the neighborhood connections at our house we see stuff like Chuckslink, ATT2394, Comcast1256, JackandLisa231 etc etc etc. A few months ago my daughter went to visit cousins in a different part of the country where the culture is a little different. A place where there is a large Vampire population (my parents lived there before they came to California). Anyway she said the connections were all named “F___ you rednecks get your own damn internet”, Not your F____ing internet, F_____ you a__hole” etc etc etc. We had to laugh…but I’m not judging. Just telling a story. I thought it was funny.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


13 thoughts on “Am I not hip enough for you?

  1. Pingback: Am I not hip enough for you? « West Coast Review

  2. Pingback: Am I not hip enough for you? « West Coast Review

  3. In my world – the downtown “art’ world – I’m not hip because I don’t wear funky glasses, drink the latest cocktails, wear The right repurposed clothes (as in the ones bought at the “cool” and expensive second hand store), discuss horrid modern art as if it was a Van Gogh, or drive an electric car. I can’t help it. I hate all of that stuff, especially the pretentious attitudes about what is “real” in art.

    Ah, well, I’ll take your post to heart and know that “Everyone will eventually be hip somewhere in the space/time continuum.” – Good one!

    • Screw em. I know you own the building!

      Amelia, you’re so beyond hip. A free spirit of the zillionth level and an old soul to boot. So what if you aren’t wearing plaid – because you’ve got your cowgirl boots, custom made corsets, fingerless lace gloves and a cape that any Vampire would positively drool over.

  4. Pingback: Am I not hip enough for you? | West Coast Review

  5. Pingback: Evolution – For the moon shines bright on those who love | Vampire Maman

  6. Pingback: Seasons and Change | Vampire Maman


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