Things to never say to a Vampire (for those who lack filters of common courtesy and polite society.)
- You’re going to hell.
- Can you turn ME into a Vampire?
- I’ve always wanted to be a Vampire.
- Where is your cape?
- Are you, like, dead?
- You should consider being a vegan.
- If I have sex with you will you bite my neck?
- Are your teeth real?
- You’re sort of pale.
- Don’t eat my soul. OK?
- What’s up with the flip flops? You’re supposed to be a Vampire.
- I shoot you with a silver bullet will you die?
- So, tell me about this blood lust thing?
- Turn into a bat. I’ve always wanted to see someone do that.
- Do you, like, sparkle?
- Do you ever have to go to the bathroom? Just asking, because in movies, you know, like, Vampires never go to the bathroom.
- Do you eat dead people or is that just Zombies?
- Do your kids go to special Vampire school?
- If you had to fight a Werewolf would you win?
- Why aren’t you wearing black?
- Your Werewolf friend is hot. Introduce us!
- You don’t look like a Vampire to me.
And no, I don’t look like a Vampire. That is why I’ve been around so long.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Vampire Maman 
Dear Juliette,
Consider me warned. I thought this list is hilarious and I giggled nearly all the way through reading. Honestly, are there people being this impolite? Even though I have to be curious now: Do you see Angels as well as you see ghosts? (And this, I hope, isn’t an impolite question to you!!)
Whoops… I’m sorry Juliette… I can’t even imagine why my comment was published anonymously… weird. Hug Raani
xoxo
Thank you. I’m glad you found this both appalling and amusing (as I did). Everyone (no matter what they are) runs into rudeness. Ugh. Angels? Funny that you ask. There are those good and bad who’ve been around a long long long time and they won’t say who or what they are. They aren’t vampires or ghosts or anything I’ve ever seen.
haha i fell off my chair reading this