As a child I never asked for help. At least never with anyone outside of my family.
I’d be the kid in the back who watched and waited and figured, or not, things out by myself. Asking for help showed weakness. It kept me open for attack. It was uncomfortable. And if it was an adult they would look at me with those big adult faces full of bumps and wrinkles and veins and red eyes and expect me to talk to them.
The only people I’d ever ask assistance from were my parents (sometimes), my brother Val (always) and the Elders who were like my grandparents (always). To everyone else I had to prove that I didn’t need them. Don’t ask me why. I was just that kind of child.
I grew out of that. I don’t see adults in such a horrible ugly light anymore (at least most of them). Never the less, I don’t like asking for help. Being an independent woman in my world, the world according to Juliette, has always been first and foremost.
Those in my world, the world of the modern woman, as well as the Modern Vampire and well, a lot of different types of beings, requires that one depend on themselves.
BUT, that said, I knew early on that my kids would have a lot better time in life if they DID ask for help. RAISE YOUR HAND and ask your teacher for help. Ask me, ask your dad, ask your uncle, ask your Grandmama. By asking for help a kid interacts, learns, explores new options and generally has more fun.
Asking for help is a good thing. It can open doors, open jars, open friendships, open minds and open hearts. And giving help does the same ten fold.
It is still something that doesn’t come easy for me, but my kids… they’re not me…at least in that way.
But one thing I’ve learned that is so important is “If you don’t ask, the answer will ALWAYS be NO.” So I tell my kids to always ASK, because most of the time the answer will be YES.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman