What we’ve been talking about…

What we’re talking about… or What I’m talking about with my kids… or what they’re talking about.

This is aptly named because my teens talk a lot.

From the mouths of babes: Why are there so many school shootings. What will happen to the girl who was shot? Will she be ok? Did you hear about the brat killing four people and not going to jail because he is spoiled rotten? More shootings? Who is Mandela? Have you ever been to Iceland? Why don’t parents trust their kids? Why don’t they raise their kids right because if they did they’d be able to trust them. Why don’t parents talk to their kids? What if I don’t get into any of the colleges I applied for? I’m going to fail math. I’m not going to wear baggy pants EVER but I don’t want to wear super tight or low cut tops all the time either. How about highlights? Why are girls so girl like? It drives me crazy. The cat has been under the wingback chair for the past 12 hours? Is she ok?

Why haven’t any of the bands we like showed up on any of the top 20 of 2013 lists or even the top 100 lists? Because the music is too smart. The artists are against auto-tuned music. Their lyrics don’t degrade women. Their lyrics and music are complex. They write their own songs. They aren’t with big labels. Most music critics have terrible taste in music.

My question is: Why aren’t any of the books we’ve read this year on any of the top lists of 2013? If I could answer that one I’d rule the world.

I can answer all of those questions (but I won’t) except two. The first is about the cat. I have no idea what she does what she does. I opened a new bag of food and she got really excited ran in and out of the house a dozen times and then ate something. Cats are weird.

About girls. At age 17 boys think they have everything figured out. That is everything except girls. Unfortunately for them, they’ll never figure that out. Not ever.

After that they just talked about school and the other kids. A lot of them are selling drugs. One girl is a young Walter White and loves chemistry. She is making and remaking all sorts of drug mixes to sell based on both legal prescription drugs and illegal drugs. As a straight A student she looks forward to going on to college and learning more advanced chemistry. The girl who does piercings in the bathroom is now by appointment only. The kid who does tattoos is getting better at his inking skills. I know it sounds nuts, but at least my children are comfortable enough with me to talk to me about these things.

A friend who has been hanging out with stoners got the ultimatum from his friends (including my kids): If you start smoking pot we’ll tell your mom AND your older siblings. Your life will be over.

Ione, my son’s girlfriend is spending a lot of time talking/skyping/texting another V boy who graduated last year. He is in college. It is a college she applied for. Garrett is worried but at the same time sort of relieved. I think the serious relationship novelty is wearing off and they just want to go back to being friends. Unfortunately the road back to friendship can be a rough back track.

Garrett’s best buddy Randy is still favoring orange pants but has recently acquired a pair of black and purple striped jeans. I’m not even sure if Randy can pull that one off, but if anyone can, it would be him.

They asked me about the Van’s Warped Tour and dates and if I want to go with them. I can get in free as a parent. I can roast in the sun. But I like most of the music so I can get a shirt that says “Best Mom Ever (I took my kid to Van’s Warped Tour). Then the conversation went to more bands that will be in town and if we can get tickets and if I can go with them. Those are indoors at night and in town – more to my liking. And for all of you parents or even aunts, uncles and friends of teens, if you haven’t taken your teen to a concert you should. It is more fun than you can imagine.

What are we doing for Christmas? We aren’t sure yet. Small and quiet I hope, but even the smallest event at my house ends up as a party with many more than we expect.

The Christmas tree fell over twice but it seems to be steady now.

On Sunday afternoon, around dusk, my kids and I took the dog to the bluff overlooking the lake near our home. Ducks skimmed over the water but we didn’t see any other creatures. We talked about school – or more my kids talked and talked and talked telling tales of High School that always sound like something out of a movie. But it isn’t out of a movie. It is their life. Our life.

After a long weekend with so many sights and sounds, I savored the quiet of the oaks and digger pines on the bluffs with my children. I love activity and people and parties and great ceremonies and all the trimmings of the season, but I love most those times when I’m just, well, just savoring the scenery and conversation.

I never know what the news will bring and how the kids will react. They’ll talk about current events in their classes. They’ll talk about it with their parents and try to make sense of it. Then they’ll talk about school and friends and the big wide world.

I’m glad they talk. I’m glad I’m here to listen.

The bluffs near our home.
The bluffs near our home.

~ Have a good week everyone,

Juliette aka Vampire Maman


  1. I can not believe the number of parents who have no idea what their kids like or dislike. Please, take Juliette’s advice and just sit down and talk with your teens! Here’s an example… I was in Hot Topic picking up some Christmas gifts for all the kids and a mom came over to ask me about an anime t-shirt. She saw I had an anime key chain. She admitted she had no idea which anime her daughter liked and she was just hoping she’d get something that was cool. Excuse me?!? In case you didn’t know, there are about a zillion anime. Picking an anime t-shirt and hoping it fits the bill is like going to Michaels and grabbing just any old craft, or to Big 5 and snatching up some sports related item, or going into Barnes and Noble and picking up any old book and hoping your kid will like it. ATTENTION PARENTS: you may hate (fill in the blank) but if your kid is into it, you should be, too. NOTE: they will be into something else probably within 6 months but maybe not. Regardless, they’re into it and they’re your most precious focus right now. Get over your ego, time constraints, too busy schedule, attitude and sit and watch their shows, read their books, and like Juliette says, listen, listen, listen.

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