Family time – in the shadows and night

Chlorine Bleach.

You don’t need to keep gallons of it around because you shouldn’t be making that kind of mess.

That is one of the first things I teach new Vampires or stupid Vampires. I swear sometimes I wonder how they survive.

I swear to God if we tore out throats and had blood dripping down our chins like the creatures in movies we’d be extinct. Everyone would be after us. No really, they’d be coming with knives, and guns, and flame throwers. The government would get involved (not that they already aren’t.)

We’ll leave the monster mashery to the Zombies. Even Werewolves know how to be discreet.

I’m overhearing my husband and daughter talking. They’re watching something on TV about computer apps. A woman comes on who looks kind of like Barbie and she is showing her child something.

Clara: She looks like one of those perfect moms who like to tell other moms how to do their job.

Teddy: Just stab her in the neck.

Then they laughed about it. There again, some other method of shutting her up might work better. Don’t get a worked up – they were just kidding. Why would we want to stab someone in the neck. It isn’t a good idea to manhandle food.

They’re talking more but I’m doing something else, like trying to figure out what I’m going to write next. Then I hear Teddy saying, “you can’t just shut up can you?” Then they start to laugh.

Now they’re talking about what to do in North and South Dakota. They’re kind of impressed by the Badlands and Cluster, excuse me, Custer State Park. Now they’re talking about what states have the highest rates of meth use.

Yes, folks, talk with your teens about everything. It is fun and always interesting.

Outside the ghost is sitting on the back fence watching something out in the woods. Maybe ghosts of wolves of days gone by or maybe nothing. He looks up and flips me off. I curl my lip and show him a fang. Fucking ghost.

Back inside the child is still discussing statistics about the states with her dad.

All is well in the land of shadows and night.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


traditional vampire





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