Quiz Time: What kind of friend are you (even if you’re a Vampire)

Answer the questions. Tally the Scores (1-4, add em up.) Find out what kind of friend you are.


Your friend tells you he has become a Vampire. He wants to talk about it. What do you do?

1. Sit down with him and quietly discuss the issue. You’re there for your friend.

2. Tell him that he has to get HELP NOW.

3. Run.

4. Drive a wooden stake through his heart and cut off his head.


Your friend tells you she has become a Werewolf. What do you do?

1. Sit down and discuss the matter with sensitivity. Let her know she can trust you.

2. Give her a box of dog biscuits.

3. Call Animal Control.

4. Shoot her through the heart with a silver bullet.


You are at a bar with your Vampire friends. Two of you see the same guy with type A+ blood. Your friend is really hungry, but this guy is really cute. What do you do?

1. Let your friend have him. There are a lot of cute guys with A+ blood out there.

2. Share him with your friend.

3. Tell your friend that you saw him first.

4. Tell your friend that she is a loser with fat thighs. Then drain the guy of blood so NOTHING is left for your loser friend.


You are walking in a dark alley with your friend and suddenly a dozen Zombies come shuffling towards you. What do you do?

1. Tell your friend to run, then fight off the Zombies with your portable flame thrower.

2. Grab your friend by the hand and run.

3. Tell your friend everyone knows he is an idiot so he doesn’t need to worry (no brain, ha ha ha ha.)

4. Push your friend into the oncoming Zombies and watch as they eat his brains, rip his skin off and gnaw his bones.


Your friend shows up at a party wearing the same dress as you. What do you do?

1. Gently giggle, then go home and change.

2. Laugh and pretend you’re twins all night.

3. Spill wine down the front of her dress so she’ll have to go change.

4. Call her a bitch and tell her to stop copying you. Then smack her as hard as you can and kick her shins.


Your friend has a baby who looks like a Goblin. What do you do.

1. Tell her that the baby is beautiful.

2. Tell her the baby is smart and alert.

3. Shrink back in horror and then excuse yourself.

4. Tell her it is the ugliest baby you’ve ever seen and laugh in her face.


You’re at a party and Vlad the Vampire Prince shows up. Your friend is smitten. You know Vlad is bad news. What do you do?

1. Gently tell your friend that Vlad is bad news and her reputation as a woman and a Vampire would be ruined should she pursue him.

2. Tell her bad things about Vlad.

3. Kick Vlad’s Vampire ass and tell him to stay away from your friend.

4. Find Vlad and screw him silly. Then brag about it to your friend.


Your friend is writing a paranormal romance novel about a Vampire and a Werewolf who fall in love and open a smoothie shop. You read it. It is poorly written and confusing. What do you do?

1. Tell her to keep writing and follow her dream.

2. Suggest she find beta readers and a good editor.

3. Tell her it just isn’t your thing.

4. Tell her that the book sucks and that she is stupid to even think about writing and has absolutely no talent. Then smack her across the face and break her pencil. Make her cry.



Add of the numbers of the questions you picked (1,2,3 or 4.) Check the answers below.

Score: 8

Either you’re a saint or you’re a compulsive liar. Either way NOBODY is going to want to be around you.

Score: 9-12

You care a lot about your friends but sometimes you let them walk all over you. Don’t let your friends take advantage of you. You are a true and loyal friend – make sure your friends are true and loyal too.

Score: 13-17

You’re a lot of fun to be with. I’d go shopping and out to lunch with you.

Score: 18-20

You’re a good friend but sometimes you can be an asshole. Cut it out.

Score: 21-25

You might consider getting counseling. You enjoy the company of others but sometimes you don’t think before you speak or act.

Score: 25-29

I’ve dated guys like you. Go back to your crypt and grow up.

Score: 30-31

HA HA HA HA. Really?

Score: 32

You’re a horrible person.


The fact that he always brought his brothers and their tiny chairs along on dates should have clued me in on just how weird he was.
The fact that he always brought his brothers and their tiny chairs along on dates should have clued me in on just how weird he was.


I hope you had fun doing this quiz. I hope you found out something you didn’t know about your friendship style.

~ Your friend (who’d never kick you in the shin.)

Juliette aka Vampire Maman


Vampire mom







  1. These Cosmo quizzes always get me in trouble…okay.

    Friend became a Vampire: 1 (wouldn’t be the first time)
    Friend became a Werewolf: 1 (hasn’t happen yet, but you never know)
    This guy is really cute: 3 (finders keepers)
    A dozen shuffling Zombies: 2 (nope nope nope)
    The same dress as you: 2 (not a fashionista)
    Baby who looks like a Goblin: 1 (I have an unnatrual weakness for infants)
    The Vampire Prince shows up: 3 (poser)
    Poorly written and confusing: 2 (or 3 if she can handle it)

    Score: 15 (or 16). Not a fan of shopping. Lunch is good; midnight snack is better.

    1. It’s nice to find someone with different experience in the kind of life we’re aware, especially when it comes to a way of thinking I hadn’t considered before. For example: why haven’t I met any werewolves yet? Hmm.

      1. Werewolves are pretty good at hiding their doggie ways. The whole monthly transformation under the full moon has to be uncomfortable at best and a bit humiliating. I only found out because my dad kept a close eye on them when we were kids (back in the 1860’s and 70’s). Well, and then there was that time one bit me…not one of my best moments. My advice would be avoid them, but if you come across one be polite and don’t make any flea jokes. Never make flea jokes.

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