Rejection and Choices

gloria

I imagine myself on a beach, then feel the tug of my heart and soul because I’m not there. I hear wind but no waves.

Instead I force myself to go outside and walk the oak forest in the cold wind. There is snow on the mountains. That is good news in a world that seems to be in a never ending drought.

The calm and beauty of the trees and dry grasses means home. Even the gold hills meet the Pacific Ocean eventually.

Back in the old days one only had to worry about the next hunt. Hunt and sleep, then do it again. Find a dark castle or crypt if  you can’t afford a castle. It was easy, but sad, and cold, and dark, and nothing I’d want to do.

I was in a dark mood this morning. Too many door slammed in my face and windows painted shut. I can’t seem to stop it. I don’t know how to stop it.

What am I doing? Why didn’t I __________ fill in the blank?

Then I look at the wall of books on art, literature, history, poetry and all subjects under the moon and I feel a sense of comfort. My home is my haven, and my shelter from the rejections and failures that haunt like unruly ghosts. The panic and unease slide off. Those ghosts are not allowed in my library or in the oak forest.

The one thing I have excelled at is parenting. My heart, soul and endless passion are there.

Over the years I have learned from my mistakes and failures. I have learned from my triumphs. I’ve learned from my experiences. I’ve learned from the joy and wonder I’ve witnessed. I pass all of that knowledge and experience on to my children.

I let them talk. I listen. I guide them. I am gentle and firm. I don’t make excuses. We discuss the world inside of our home and far away. We love. We laugh. We cry.

I want them to be like me, but I pray that they are not like me. I want them to be better than I’ve ever been – and they are. They are much better than I will ever be.

The most difficult thing and most rewarding thing to teach your child is the lessons of rejection. Whether it be a bad grade on an assignment, a failed friendship, a romance gone wrong, a sports even lost, not getting a job, or a thousand other things, it is a lesson we must all learn and a lesson all parents need to teach their children.

Rejection hits over and over and over. Sometimes it becomes overwhelming. That is hard, especially for teens.

My husband has a good expression, “Screw them. Their loss.”

Words of wisdom if you ask me.

That said, rejection is like people. It is different every time. Sometimes it is a good thing, sometimes not. But shit happens. Rejection happens. Good things happen.

A lot of good things happen, and sometimes they happen out of rejection of something else.

With rejection comes the traps of what ifs and I should haves.Move on. Teach your kids to move on. Their value is somewhere else. And they have value, far more value than they can comprehend.

Ships that pass in the night. What you should have said. What you should not have said. What you should have done. It is all just experience to learn by. And LEARN by it.

If you don’t do anything else, learn by your experiences. Learn by the rejections of life.

And learn by the joys.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

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3 thoughts on “Rejection and Choices

  1. Making decisions isn’t always easy – and sometimes we choose wrong… so what? It’s not like we can never return on a path… We all doubt our choices once in a while… “what if I had…….”? But then: Aren’t our choices part of who we are? 🙂
    I love your thoughtful post, Juliette.

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