Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire – Advice for Everyone) is a regular Thursday feature on Vampire Maman.
These are real questions from real readers. If you have a question about relationships, parenting, Vampires, paranormal stuff, fashion, Zombies, art, or ANYTHING just ask and I’ll try to answer. It might not be the answer you expect, but it will be an answer.
Email me at juliettevampiremom (at) gmail (dot com)
Dear Juliette,
Why does your skin look so young?
~ Mirror Mirror
Dear MM,
Aside from the fact that I’m a Vampire and I drink human blood?
First if you’re not a Vampire I don’t recommend drinking blood. It isn’t going to help your skin. That goes for topical applications as well.
- Sunscreen. Every single day. Rain or shine. All seasons. 365.
- Remove your make-up at night.
- Don’t smoke (that includes anything you light.) Ever hear the term “cat butt mouth”?
- You don’t need expensive beauty products. Most drug store products work as well or better than a lot of the more expensive brands. We even use stuff from Trader Joe’s at my house. My splurges come from LUSH. I love the Dream Cream, Lemon Flutter and Buffy Body Butter. As for scrubs for your face or body any of the St. Ives products will work wonders on rough dead looking skin – and believe me if you’ve been in a crypt for a while, or just feel like it, these products will make you glow.
~ Juliette
Dear Juliette,
Why do dogs eat cat box treats?
~ Fido Mom
Dear Fido Mom,
I assume you mean cat poop. The official term for poop eating is coprophagia.
Some folks say dogs eat poop because they are lacking certain things in their diets. It is never good for dogs, small children, or anyone to eat poop.
The REAL reason dogs eat cat poop is because dogs are disgusting. They just are. I love dogs, but they’re disgusting. They eat poop, garbage, vomit, underwear, tampons, dirt, sticks, roadkill, dead fermented rats, rotted salmon, and live snails, to name a few. Dogs have no shame. And obviously they don’t have the same taste buds as we do.
My old dog Jasmine never ate poop. A few days ago I thought the new puppy Alice was pooping a lot in the house. It wasn’t her poop. It was cat poop. She was distributing the contents of the litter box around the house. Why? Poop is funny. Poop is interesting. She was curious. And she is a dog. Dogs eat poop. You just have to tell them NO BAD DOG when they do stuff like that.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Dear Juliette,
What should I read next?
~ Need to Read
Dear Need to Read,
I have a few GREAT suggestions today.
For something fun that is not in the paranormal realm read Exceptional Liars by Marla Todd.
“All of us Hobbs kids were exceptional liars, well except my brother Jordan who was a liar by default by his refusal to tell either lies or the truth.”
What do you do when the world thinks you’re dead? If you’re Liz Atkinson you become somebody else.
Alex Goldstein has a thriving law practice with his wife Tasha Alexander. Life is is good. Well, except for the fact that he drinks too much, and his wife regularly cheats on him. To keep his mind off of his problems Alex writes about by serial killers. His most recent obsession is The Killer of Virtue. Then one day, Liz Hobbs Atkinson, the last victim of The Killer of Virtue shows up in his office very much alive. As Alex helps Liz build a new life, his own life falls apart.
Exceptional Liars takes you on a wild ride with a cast of exceptionally interesting characters, sharp dialogue, and unexpected twists and turns. You won’t want to put it down.
My name is Ruby Carter. I was a normal teenage girl who only wanted what every other teenage girl wanted- love and acceptance. But when my parents revealed a painful secret I couldn’t accept, and my boyfriend broke up with me the night before my eighteenth birthday, I turned into something beyond average. Betrayed and broken, I tore off in my car, into the storm, and straight toward my death. I was sucked into a dark and terrifying world I never knew existed, changing my life forever. That’s when I met him…
My name is Guy Stone. I’ve been told I have no heart- a cold, ruthless killer. And I liked the perception others gave me for it allowed me to shut out my past and focus on hunting down every last Unfortunate Soul, seeking my revenge. But the night I found her lying amongst the flames of the battle, helpless and confused, I caved, finding myself drawn to her dark innocence, unable to follow the rules. And by that one decision, not only did my life change forever, but I found myself falling for the one thing I despised the most: A vampire. My enemy. An Unfortunate Soul.
*This book is recommended for ages 14 and up due to a little bit of kissing, cursing, and mild violence.
The Unfortunate Souls Series:
Unfortunate Souls (Book 1)
Broken Souls (Book 2)
Rogue Souls (Book 3)
Happy Reading
~ Juliette
Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire – Advice for Everyone) is a regular Thursday feature on Vampire Maman.
These are real questions from real readers. If you have a question about relationships, parenting, Vampires, paranormal stuff, fashion, Zombies, art, or ANYTHING just ask and I’ll try to answer.
Email me at juliettevampiremom (at) gmail (dot com)
Vampire Maman 
Dogs eating tampons…. yep, I know all about that. We obviously had a lot of cotton in my house growing up, and the dog always knew where to dig it out…
As the cats look on in disgust.
While hacking up a hairball of their own….
Dogs are disgusting! My dog has a thing for dried poop. No matter if it’s sun dried or freeze dried, he can find it and gobble it down before I can do a thing about it.
Ick. But I’m laughing.
Yes, and dog lick their privates too, even after pooping. And then they want to give you a big slobbery kiss right after that, lol!
Just think of dogs as weird loyal friends. You gotta love em. They’re like kids – they’re so cute we have to keep them.
Another interesting collection of fascinating questions. I like the skin products you use… (and still buy the expensive stuff. LOL)