Tonight We’re Talking About Vampires, but not really…

As the Earth’s foremost Vampire Slash Parenting Blogger, I plan on getting back to my roots today and talking about Vampires. I’ll talk a bit about parenting too.

As usually I’m being side tracked left and right, and every other direction. This afternoon I heard about this year’s big senior prank at the high school.

Vegetable Oil. Gallons and gallons of vegetable oil all over the main wings of the school. On the A-Wing, which is the entire front length of the school, housing all of the English classes and a few other, the windows were smeared with oil. The hallways all over the school were slick with the stuff. One kid was rubbing his hands on the windows then through his hair. Kids were doing the skating/slip-n-slide thing on the oil. A kid in an electric wheel chair did some spin outs (on purpose). Unfortunately two other students in wheel chairs had to go home because the gunk got in the equipment. A clean up crew with sand and God knows what else had to come in to clean up the mess. Then some girl called 911 from the school (for no reason), and about half the kids at school were just going nuts doing other stupid things. Graduation for the Seniors is Friday. In my opinion everyone is done with school this year and Friday should be the last day for everyone. I bet the teachers wouldn’t mind. But back to the oil… the kids almost got away with it but they posted the event on Snapchat. They will not be walking on graduation and their parents will have to pay for the clean-up. Yes, kids, if you want your parents to pay for your college don’t do shit like this.

Right now my Vampire life seems pretty normal. It is normal for me. It is just all of those other “people,” you know, with the warm blood and beating hearts that are kind of weird. More than kind of weird – really weird.

Which brings me back to when I was a teen, a long long time ago, in another time. Same place more or less, but a very different time.

When I was my daughter’s age Bell invented the telephone.

John Hopkins, who is buried not far from here, opened his University.

Budweiser was born. No kidding.

Samurai are banned from carrying swords in Japan.

The first cremation in the United States takes place in a crematory built by Francis Julius LeMoyne.

Rutherford B. Hayes is elected president and the United States survives. Hayes believed in meritocratic government, equal treatment without regard to race, and improvement through education. He was considered in the bottom half of US Presidents.

Yes, that is what was going on in 1876. I had planned on those fun filled facts to launch into something else about Vampires, when someone comes close to me and whispers in my ear, “come upstairs I have to show you something.”

I go upstairs where my daughter shows me Vape Nation videos on YouTube. Then she laughs and says, “This guy is just like the boys at my school. This is what I have deal with.”

The video was of a grown man, pants in socks, sunglass flaps up on his glasses, a bandanna on his head, and looking sort of stupid. He was acting cool and all excited about vaping – the smoking kind of vaping. It was super stupid. You might find it funny.

Why are kids so fascinated with vaping, especially boys? Who knows. Ask their dicks. Seriously, first in the stone age it was rocks. That graduated to fire. With that came chewing just about anything, smoking anything, spitting anything, and bad words. Maybe it is the lack of large brightly colored tail feathers, or size. Maybe this is just one of those unanswered questions of the universe that we will NEVER know the answer to. Look at any well respected man and remember, more than likely he was a stupid boy (according to most teenage girls.)

I’m not male bashing. I can bash on the girls too, but I was supposed to be writing about Vampires. Oh the distractions.

After the vape video, my husband, who has no patience for our silly girls giggle stuff, said to come downstairs because he was going to start something without me. I never got back to this post. And this morning, or maybe sometime today, I have a burning “Ask Juliette” post to write. There are fifty thousand other things important to do as well (OK maybe four or five on the list for today.)

Vampire lore will have to wait. A lot of things can wait, but teens can’t. If you have one at your house you have to spend time with it. They’re like puppies. This is your last chance to slather your influence, and love on them.

I’ll talk to you later. I have a teen that needs to be told to get ready for school.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman









3 thoughts on “Tonight We’re Talking About Vampires, but not really…

  1. That guy in the vape video is an Ass-Hat, in more than one way. What is the fascination with weird-flavored vapes??? Personally, I started vaping in 2009 as a way to quick smoking before vaping even got “cool.” I’ve always used tobacco-flavored vape, and have reduced the nicotine levels significantly in the process, and have even vaped zero nicotine from time to time until I got stressed again. Anyways, I just hope I can continue to vape if I want, (I even do it discreetly and don’t piss people off too and show off and blow it in their face) and that these ass-hats of the world don’t take away my vaping rights. OK that’s my rant, lol. xoxoxo

  2. I did my junior year American History term paper on the Election of 1876. My teacher, who had been around long enough to have also taught my Dad, said I was the only one he could remember who had ever picked that topic to research… which I thought was odd because it was one of the most unique and bizarre elections in US history. When everyone else was raving about the mess that happened in 2000 with the Florida vote being contested, I said, “Hey, it’s just like 1876 all over again!” If Gore thought he got screwed in that election, he should talk to Samuel J. Tilden, who by all rights should have been our 19th President. Hayes wasn’t officially declared the winner until the day before his inauguration in March of 1877… being awarded all 19 of the contested electoral votes in four states to beat Tilden by a single vote after the committee appointed to sort out the mess abruptly went from bipartisan to Republican majority upon the resignation of its independent chairman David Davis…


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