Rambling Around The Christmas Tree

December 13 already???? Yes indeed. It isn’t supposed to rain until later today so I’m rushing to get up my pathetic outdoor decorations. No big lights this year (Teddy is busy) so I’m decorating the porch a-la Griswold. As a piece of trivia I live within walking distance (about a mile or a bit more) from Dovewood Court, which is one of the most famously decorated neighborhoods. If you move there you MUST agree to light up like the City of Las Vegas every December. Anyway, my goal is to get lights, garlands, and assorted wreaths on my farmhouse style porch, and a few pathetic wreaths on my garage lights.

The small sort of old fashioned lamp light we have out by our street has red, green, and yellow blinking lights in it. Eight years ago Teddy put them in at Christmas time and never took them out. Nobody has complained so our lights blink all year long. Sometimes I wonder if our neighbors consider us weird. We’re the only house on the street with kids. We have the most pets. Our cats visit everyone, as have every dog we’ve had. We’re a mess. I’m finally 90% done with landscaping my front yard (all by myself thank you very much.) And we’re Vampires, but don’t tell our neighbors. And sometimes, when I’m feeling especially happy, I will blow a trumpet from my back deck.

Inside the tree is beautiful, and the stockings are hung with care.

 

Other Holiday Things I’m Going to Ramble About…

Christmas Trees – Dogs, Cats, and Small Children

I haven’t had a pet bother a Christmas tree for years, but if you have a young puppy or a kitten it can happen. My worry this year is that the pup (who turns one on Christmas Day) will chase the cats around the tree and knock it over. If my tree falls it is usually because I knocked it over adding water to the base.

So this is what you do: Put any breakable ornaments on the bottom. Tell your kids NO, just look. Tell your dog NO. Tell your small kids NO again. Do that about fifty times. You can’t tell cats anything so you might as well give up on that one. Sure you can try the old squirt bottle but they’ll just scratch your favorite chair or pee on your shoes.

Chill, enjoy, and realize that sometimes stuff breaks.

What’s New? New Girlfriends That’s What.

I have four brothers, and a son. One of my brothers is married. Yes, it is just like a math problem because it is usually hard to figure out and it usually makes no sense.

Garrett, my twenty year old son, came home from college with a great new red and green plaid Christmas vest, and a new girlfriend named Taylor. I’ve had no such surprises from my brothers but there is still time.

Taylor is cute, laughs really loud, and obviously likes my son. To tell you the truth she is great. I like her from the top of her bleached blonde pixie cut, to her cute little flats with kitty designs on them. And best of all she is a Vampire too, from a respectable Central Valley Vampire family.

No drama there. Aside from being deathly afraid of Werewolves, and Vampire Hunters, Taylor is ok. We’ll need to work with her on those fears. Vampire Hunters are not to be feared because they’re so easy to fuck with. Ho Ho Ho.

As for my bothers. Nothing. I can only give my opinions, and now days I don’t even bother because it just pisses them off (and they don’t listen anyway or get all butt hurt.) Max should be here later today so I’ll give you an update.

So Back to the Holidays

My dear friend Amelia (My Vegas Vampire) has been staying with us a few days a week this December. This has given me the excuse opportunity to attend events such as accordion concerts under the rotunda in the California State Capitol Building. Today I might take her up to the Mormon Temple on the hill (Sacramento Temple but it is in Folsom) to see if they’ve decorated it up for the holidays. Hey, we’re Vampires but we’re not goons. We like to see what everyone is doing and wish everyone well. Anyway, from the path through the woods near my house one can see the spire of the LDS Temple at night, at a distance over the lake. It looks like the Eiffel Tower. So, yes Virginia, I can see Paris from my neighborhood. And you thought that crazy woman in Alaska was the only one who could see another country from her house.

It has been great having Amelia here. That is all. Good friends make a house a home, and makes even hardly beating Vampire hearts merry.

So be merry and bright. May all of your Vampires dance at night, and bring you bright dreams of joy (that comes with being lightheaded from blood loss.)

I’ll keep up the Christmas stories and other holiday fun.

xoxoxo

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Merry Christmas Baby!

Merry Christmas Baby!