Things That Go Bump In The Night

I received a call this morning. A male voice was on the other end. “I’m sorry to call so late, your brother Aaron said to call.”

It was 3 am. I was up. Of course I was, I’m a Vampire. I realized I was speaking to Austin the restoration expert and sometimes Vampire Hunter.

My brother Aaron, the serious attorney and Vampire has crossed paths with Austin. My husband at times has dealings with Austin – both of them being in the business of old things.

“What can I do for you?” I asked wondering what he’d found tonight.

“There is something in the basement of one of my houses and… I don’t know what it is. It isn’t human. I don’t think it is a Vampire. It doesn’t feel like a Vampire.”

“I see.” I am in the business of unusual things. Well, not exactly in business, but when unusual things come up or anything really weird I’m the one everyone calls. Don’t ask me why. It just happens this way.

Teddy and I arrived at an old house and were met by Austin. He seemed a bit uncomfortable but I ignored that. Vampires usually make people uncomfortable, if they know what we are, but we were there to do a job. I was also just curious, you know, this kind of thing can be fun or at least interesting sometime.

Austin looked pretty serious. “Your brother Aaron said you know more about these things than most. Could you help me out?”

I noticed his hand was swelled up and a nasty red color. I took it in mine. He started to pull back, maybe at the shock of the cold touch of my skin, or the fact that I’m a Vampire, but then Austin relaxed, a little at least. “What happened here?”

“A wasp stung me. The bastards built a nest under my front porch.”

“You’re in a lot of pain.”

“It feels like an acetylene torch burning my hand.”

I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it. I knew he wanted to pull away in the worst way. I could feel his fear, but he knew, he sensed it would be ok. Smart guy.

“The pain is gone,” Austin said.

Oh if you could have seen the look on his face. Priceless!

I just smiled and asked him to show us the vermin in the building he needed to remove.

He took us down a narrow flight of concrete stairs into a damp space under the building. I could already smell the putrid sick smell that resembled a cross between a Middle School boys locker room on a hot day and a full cat box.

Teddy glanced at me. “Goblins.”

I hate Goblins. They’re nasty vile little creatures pretending to be kin to humans and all things like us. I don’t know what they are or their DNA make-up, if they have DNA. They’re putrid creatures made up of garbage and everything disgusting. Yuck.

Austin flicked on the single light bulb handing from a cord above the stairs. The creatures screamed like small girls. “Stop it,” I yelled. “Right now.”

I could see the green tint of their skin, the tacky clothes and the sharp pointy teeth and smooth dry skin like that of a frog. Austin saw something that looked human, over dressed like they were going for a Glam Goth Rock look worn by fairly unattractive people. He couldn’t see their real form. They made sure of that.

They ran up the stairs pushing us as they went. Out of the house and into the night they went. I heard a car start and speed off. In the basement we found drugs and what looked like a stash of stolen jewelry. Teddy called a police detective he knows who deals with these sorts of things.

There is nothing that scares or excites Goblins more than Vampires. We know what they’re up to. They can’t trick us. They can’t escape us if we really want to catch them. They’re like rats and they know it.

Austin stood speechless and ran his hand through his hair.

“Austin, did you see them in their true form?” Teddy asked.

“They were green.”

“Yes,” I said, “you can see them as you can see us for what we are. You have a gift. Can you see the two teenagers who have been watching us from the top of the stairs?”

Austin looked up at the two transparent forms who stood above us. He was obviously uncomfortable.

“They’re ghosts. Goodness Austin, this house is full of all kinds of things. Don’t worry about the two here. They seem harmless.”

The teens looked at us with sad eyes for a few more seconds then entwined their fingers and vanished.

Teddy and I took poor Austin upstairs and sat him down for a chat. Austin is one of those rare individuals who can see the world and those who inhabit it for what they really are. It is a frightening and sometimes wonderful reality for those who experience it. Then again, I had to remind him that normal humans are much more frightening and evil than anything he saw tonight.

“I shouldn’t have called you. I’m sorry to bother you. I could have taken care of it myself,” Austin said.

“The Goblins would have attacked you. Your body would have never been found,” I told him.

We walked back to our cars after he locked up the old building. I have no idea if he would continue on the restoration or not. That would depend on the Ghosts I suppose, or it could depend on Austin. He didn’t seem like the kind who would let fear stop him.

He put his hand on my arm (we’re not close enough for hugs) and said, “thanks for taking care of that wasp sting.”

I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Teddy shook his hand.

The sun came over a smoky horizon as we pulled into our driveway. It had been a long night.

The worst fear is fear of the unknown. Then again, what we do know can be pretty scary too. In the meantime we help each other out, even when we’re not alike. It’s just the right thing to do.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

This post was first published 9/20/2014

Don’t be a ghost until you’re dead.

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