Cat-ur-day

Saturday is here which usually means a Burning Question Poll or a lousy drawing.

But TODAY it is Cat-ur-Day. Move over Saturn, the cats are here.

Last night while I was folding laundry (yes, Vampires have laundry) my cat Oscar was curled up next to his buddy Stan-Lee. Stan is an old Steiff tiger of the most pleasant disposition. Oscar loves his Stan.

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Oscar is my baby boy, even though he turns eight this summer.

Gloria is almost fourteen. We got her at the pound (Sacramento Animal Control and Rescue) on my daughter’s 6th birthday. She was a teeny tiny little thing. Gloria is still pretty small but fierce. She is the hunter, and I will say no more. Birds, bugs, lizards, and all small rodents – you have been warned.

But wait… for all of you who need your poochie dogo fix I also took a picture of Alice, my cuddle bug hellhound (aka GSD aka German Shepard Dog.) Alice is three years old. Her birthday is December 25th. Alice weights 86 pounds, loves the cats to no end, listens to the “mom voice”, and steals the cat food as often as she can.

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For those who came here looking for a Burning Question or a drawing I aim to please.

Here is a doodle I did a while back of a vampire child and her cat. Just a doodle.

Vampire Maman

The Tiger and Vampire Maman

And something else a little more detailed.

This one was done under another name (aka Marla Todd) but I drew it. This was a while back. I have a stash of works I’ve never shown anyone, and a lot of work I’ve sold or given away. Hell yeah I’ve been paid for my artwork and illustrations.

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Finally…

Drum roll please…

The BURNING QUESTION for today is: How does society influence art?

If you don’t like that one talk about your cats, dogs, art, or spring garden in the comment section below. Yes, that is what the comment section is for. Start the discussions NOW.

Happy Cat-ur-Day.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Editors

I’d like to introduce you to my editors Gloria and Oscar. They aren’t very good at editing, in fact they aren’t good at all, but they always show up and meet their deadlines.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Food and a box is all they ask for (usually)

Food and a box is all they ask for (usually)

Fingerprints…really?

E014097I’m almost finished with a novel I’ve been writing for way too long. Then my husband asked “what are you going to do about fingerprints?”

I just look at him. I’d thought about the issue then never really addressed it except to have my characters be crafty and lucky.

“If they change identity then what do you do about fingerprints?” Damn him.

So I go online (to Google) and look in fingerprints and removing them and faking them. I suppose everyone could have an arm transplant but then I get into a different genre. Then my much-anticipated novel becomes even more confusing. I wasn’t planning on this.

The plot suddenly seems silly and shallow. But wait…the writing is good (really good – better than anything I stick on this silly blog) and the dialogue is witty and the characters are different…and it all seems so shallow.

All because of the fingerprint issue.

If this was a Vampire novel I could deal with it, but it isn’t about Vampires.

Darn it.

Just one word can change things. I try to teach my kids that, especially with school starting. You can say something and forget about it but it might change everything for someone else. So make sure what you say is nice or productive or – well, just think before you speak.

I could say “Life is like trying to write a novel.” I could say it is also like wearing sunscreen, ripping out an ugly old lawn or making salsa or washing a cat (I don’t recommend you do that). But hey, we all know life is like EVERYTHING. It is. It is just one big pile of EVERYTHING.

With summer ending with too much going on that I haven’t shared here…my brain is full. You know what I mean? Where are the Zombies when you need them.

So back to this book. I would read it if somebody else had written it. I’d recommend it. I’d say “I wish I could write that well.”

We should all be that lucky. In fact, if you’re a famous literary agent I have your next best seller so send me a message (juliettevampiremom@gmail.com). Or if you want to make a movie or cable TV series out of this blog I’m fine with that too.

In the meantime I have to take the kids to back-to-school shopping and meet a Werewolf for lunch.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman (who hopes all of you find your muse and the perfect backpack and binders)

Note – a few hours after I posted this I figured out how to deal with fingerprints (and it does not have anything to do with reanimated body parts or latex.) Tomorrow I’m sure it will be something else – but that is what the imagination is for!

And now for a gallery of cute cat photos (can’t go wrong with cute cats)

Hipster Cat

Hipster Cat

Flat Cat (Oscar)

Flat Cat (Oscar)

Vintage Kittens Awwwwww

Vintage Kittens Awwwwww

He does stupid things like sit in the bottom of bags.

He does stupid things like sit in the bottom of bags.

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kiss me

kiss me

Rub my belly

Rub my belly

Gloria the Calico Princess

Gloria the Calico Princess

How to motivate your cat – yeah right like that is ever going to happen

Our cats do bad things.

We love our cats.

Does that make any sense?

I am a bit pissed off because they didn't need to bring that other cat into my life.

So the cats scratch the furniture. Can we motivate them to scratch somewhere else using treats, sprays, scratching posts? Hell no. They aren’t motivated by food. They aren’t motivated by attention. They are motivated by getting me to stop yelling at them. So I yell.

My cats fight with each other. They run through the house growling and jumping on each other spitting and hissing. I yell again, they keep fighting, I yell again, the dog walks into the other room, they keep fighting. I yell “HEY CUT IT OUT”. That works. It works with my children too.

Vampire Maman's Cat - this makes me want to cough up a hairball - Gloria the Calico Cat

My cats barf. I believe they do this because they enjoy it. We’ve done everything the pet books say. But honestly it isn’t a medical problem. It isn’t a food problem. They like to barf. Only on carpet. Only where we walk. Only where we sleep. NEVER on the tile.

I love my cats.

I put him in his place.

I don’t know why. Actually I do know why. They’re cute and soft and they talk to me in their cute little kitty voices. They purrrrrrrrr. And sometimes they even act like they love me too.

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Short Story Sunday will be back in a few weeks (yes, technically I’m posting this on Saturday but somewhere in the world it is Sunday). I’ll be hit and miss for a bit but if you absolutely MUST get your Vampire fix TODAY click on the links below.

And you want more just scroll through my past posts – there are exactly 500 tall tales, parenting tips and musings to choose from.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman