How to motivate your cat – yeah right like that is ever going to happen

Our cats do bad things.

We love our cats.

Does that make any sense?

I am a bit pissed off because they didn't need to bring that other cat into my life.

So the cats scratch the furniture. Can we motivate them to scratch somewhere else using treats, sprays, scratching posts? Hell no. They aren’t motivated by food. They aren’t motivated by attention. They are motivated by getting me to stop yelling at them. So I yell.

My cats fight with each other. They run through the house growling and jumping on each other spitting and hissing. I yell again, they keep fighting, I yell again, the dog walks into the other room, they keep fighting. I yell “HEY CUT IT OUT”. That works. It works with my children too.

Vampire Maman's Cat - this makes me want to cough up a hairball - Gloria the Calico Cat

My cats barf. I believe they do this because they enjoy it. We’ve done everything the pet books say. But honestly it isn’t a medical problem. It isn’t a food problem. They like to barf. Only on carpet. Only where we walk. Only where we sleep. NEVER on the tile.

I love my cats.

I put him in his place.

I don’t know why. Actually I do know why. They’re cute and soft and they talk to me in their cute little kitty voices. They purrrrrrrrr. And sometimes they even act like they love me too.


Short Story Sunday will be back in a few weeks (yes, technically I’m posting this on Saturday but somewhere in the world it is Sunday). I’ll be hit and miss for a bit but if you absolutely MUST get your Vampire fix TODAY click on the links below.

And you want more just scroll through my past posts – there are exactly 500 tall tales, parenting tips and musings to choose from.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman



13 thoughts on “How to motivate your cat – yeah right like that is ever going to happen

  1. Do your cats try to “cover up” the mess after they barf by scratching on the carpet like they were in the litter box, or is that just my cats? Cats are so evil in the way they do bad things then totally disarm you with their cuteness…. sigh!

  2. Scratching the furniture??? I solved this the cruel, (easy) way – front de-clawed. She doesn’t miss them, doesn’t scratch, and is still just as cute…

    • But then they BITE!!!!!!! And she’d never forgive me because she wouldn’t be able to “do her nails” when she has spa days

      • I have to agree with Oscar. But it is weird Paul because my old cat Lilly (and we would call her Lillycat) was a tortie and came with no claws (we think some tweeker did it to her at home) and she was so sweet. But boy oh boy that little toothless and clawless cat had a mouth on her. Every cat in the neighborhood was afraid of her.


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