A Vampire Muses About Natural Disasters, 2020, Halloween, and New Discoveries. YES there is fun to be had in 2020.

What we’re talking about today.

I just found out about a tsunami warning issued following 7.5 magnitude earthquake off Alaska Peninsula today.

Along with living in fire country, I also live in earthquake country. I’m not so close that if the Big One hits San Francisco or Los Angeles I’ll be in any danger. If a big one hits San Francisco I will be able to feel it.

The tsunami warning signs at the coast are lovely graphics but they are a reminder that it can, and will, happen again. We don’t know when or exactly when but it will.

Almost everyone around where I live has a story about either the 1906 or 1986 San Francisco earthquakes, or ones in Northridge, San Fernando, and Long Beach, or Humboldt and Santa Cruz Counties.

Which brings us back to everything else in 2020…

Weird stuff always happens to me so I’m doing ok during all of the current weirdness. October usually brings it on for me with general death and distruction, but any month works for stupid shit and unusual nobody wants to deal with.

On the other hand October is usually the best month of the year. First of all it cools off. It isn’t cooling off this year. But hey, my kids are coming up to visit. Woo Hoo.

I don’t know if the leaves will even change this year or just stay green and everything will evolve into evergreens. At least the migrating birds are migrating and sticking to schedule.

Fire season isn’t over yet. I watch the skies and the dry grass and trees hoping that nothing around me, or anyone else will catch fire. We’re tired of fires. We’re tired of the BS that surrounds them with the lack of fire cruse or aid for those in the way of fires, and PG&E bull shit. Why the hell are all of the power lines still above ground? It know it is expensive to bury them but isn’t it more expensive to have the entire Western United States burn down every single summer and fall?

Alice my dog and I go on long hot dry walks. We’d like it to cool down.

There are two weeks left until the election. I don’t suspect that all of the political weirdness will end because no matter what the results there will be… let’s just hope whatever the reaction is to the outcome that it doesn’t rival a Stephen King novel.

I’m still not sure if I’ll carve the pumpkins on my front porch. If I do I might as well pull out my magic witch hat and dress up the dog. The kids will be here for Halloween too so no matter what it will be fun. Vampires always find ways to have fun.

What else is new.

My daughter sent me this video. I laughed and almost cried.

I also discovered Owlkitty this week. I love Owlkitty.

The Crocker Art Museum will now be open four days a week. I am so jazzed. I’ve made reservations for my birthday.

I’m just thinking out loud. What are you thinking about and talking about?

No matter what wear a mask, stay safe, talk to your kids, hug your cats and dogs or whatever critters you call family, don’t be a dick, be kind, and as always kiss a Vampire. xoxox

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Thoughts on Summer Heat, Schools, and Dog Walks

I can’t wait until fall comes. I don’t mean that lingering September heat that is like a hot slap in the face with a blow torch. I mean real fall with cool air and where the temperature stays under 75°F.

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Every morning I take my dog out for a walk. One of our stops is the local school which is also a park during non-school hours, which is always right now. The highlight of the school trip is getting a drink out of the fountain. Not for me – for the dog.

If school ever starts again we’ll change our morning route. The school we walk in is an old much loved public school turned into a public Waldorf charter school. The gardens are still growing. Staff is keeping the school clean.

When school was in session I loved watching the kids, all wearing sun hats, go for walks to the trails by the lake we live near. The youngest would hold hands or hold a rope so that they’d stay together. It was precious. The school has such a sense of community like the public charter Montessori school my children went to. The Waldorf school is a community and part of our neighborhood community. The same goes for the newer and larger neighborhood public elementary school down the street.

My daughter will be taking the fall quarter, the first quarter of do fourth year of college, online. It sucks but it is what has to be online school. We can manage that. With all of the money government, both federal and local, they could have online schools and computers for every kid if they wanted to. If they really wanted to they could make it happen.

I can’t imagine teachers, school cafeteria workers, custodians, teaching assistants, administrative staff, and others who work for schools coming down with Covid-19. I can’t imagine the horrible nightmare of children getting the virus.

Too little too late can’t be the lament of our education systems. We need to adjust and to see this as a public health issue. The lives of our teachers, children, and school workers depend on it.

Cafeteria’s can still be open for take out meals for children, or social distancing while school is out. Other services can adjust to meet the needs of children and families.  It can be done.

In the meantime, to switch gears to something nice, here are some photos of one of my walks earlier this week.

  • Talk to with your kids
  • Wear a mask
  • Wash your hands
  • Don’t complain or whine too much in front of your children. They’re stressed out about this too.
  • Kiss a Vampire (it will be ok. Vampires don’t transmit this thing)
  • Check in on the elderly and those who might need extra help or love.
  • Stay in touch with zoom, blogs, and other social media – or just pick up the phone and CALL someone you care about.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Ask Juliette: About Vampire Powers, and GOT

Welcome to “Ask Juliette” aka “Ask a Vampire” a not so regular semi-regular feature here at vampiremaman.com.

I answer all sorts of questions about life, love, Vampires, parenting, pets, wine, cheese, art, and anything else YOU need answers for or help with. If you have a question leave it in the comment section below or send me an email message at juliettevampiremom @ gmail.com.

So here we go.

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Dear Juliette: I’m working on becoming a vampire. Could you please tell me about vampire powers? I also want to know if vampires can change their physical appearance (like getting taller or changing their face) or can they learn to do so? Thanks!!

I’m not sure what you mean by working on becoming a vampire. You’re either a vampire or you’re not. If you want to become a Vampire find a reliable and trusted community of Vampires to help you out. It isn’t all about drinking blood. 

As for powers, I like to think of it as Vampire specific abilities or talents.

Yes, Vampires can change their physical appearance as much as anyone else can. Fortunately we can also make people THINK we look different than we actually do. We can’t get taller unless one is a child. 

We (Vampires) can also give you sweet dreams or bad dreams. That is one of our most useful tools.

We can erase short term memories. We can give you long term memories. We can lock our eyes on yours and make you do all kinds of things. That is the sure fire defense against Vampire Hunters. We’re quiet. We’re strong. We’re pretty fast for the most part. We can seem invisible. 

Vampires know when someone is telling a lie.

One of my favorite traits is that people are extremely attracted to us. Seriously. There is no need to climb through bedroom windows and creep around to find donors. People like us. Of course they do. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Vampires heal fast. We can also heal each other, and regular people (if we feel like it.)

However, we can’t always find our keys, or the mates to our socks, or top lids that match the bottom – just like everyone else. 

Contrary to popular belief we do not sparkle (unless we use glitter lotion), we do not burn to a crisp in the sun, we don’t avoid mirrors, crosses and other religious symbols don’t burn us. Sure we avoid churches because we’re not welcome. Some of us are more sensitive to the sun, but that is true with any population group. 

Vampires like coffee. Food with a lot of sugar (and carbs) tend to make us extremely sick. We usually don’t eat birds/poultry.

Vampires have a strong connection to animals.

Vampires can see Ghosts, Demons, Angels, Spirits, Fairies, and all sorts of beings most regular people can’t see.

When writing Vampires start words like Vampire, Werewolf, and Ghost, with a capitol letter. 

As a rule Vampires are not overly fond of Time Travelers.

As with everyone else, each Vampire has their own special powers/skills. The longer you’re a Vampire the more you’ll learn and refine those skills.

Of course, if you’re the kind of Vampire who has no soul that is entirely another set of answers. I won’t go their this morning. I haven’t finished my coffee yet so I’m not up to that conversation.

For more information about Vampires browse though my blog. There are about 2,000 posts here and a good portion are about Vampires. The other posts are about parenting, cats, coffee, and other assorted unrelated subjects.

Good luck on your transformation. I hope it is what you really want.

 

crowletter

Dear Juliette: Who do you think will be left at the end of Game of Thrones?

I don’t know, but if any dragons are left they can send them to my house.  

 

And NOW a shameless plug. If you like fantasy and dragons check out the WPaD Anthology Dragons and Dreams. Available at all fine online booksellers. Proceeds go to support those with MS.

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Thanks for coming by. Now I’m off to find more coffee and then vacuum tons of dog hair off of my carpets.

If you have a question or if you just want to know what I think about something feel free to ask.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Alice

My dog Alice

Cat-ur-day

Saturday is here which usually means a Burning Question Poll or a lousy drawing.

But TODAY it is Cat-ur-Day. Move over Saturn, the cats are here.

Last night while I was folding laundry (yes, Vampires have laundry) my cat Oscar was curled up next to his buddy Stan-Lee. Stan is an old Steiff tiger of the most pleasant disposition. Oscar loves his Stan.

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Oscar is my baby boy, even though he turns eight this summer.

Gloria is almost fourteen. We got her at the pound (Sacramento Animal Control and Rescue) on my daughter’s 6th birthday. She was a teeny tiny little thing. Gloria is still pretty small but fierce. She is the hunter, and I will say no more. Birds, bugs, lizards, and all small rodents – you have been warned.

But wait… for all of you who need your poochie dogo fix I also took a picture of Alice, my cuddle bug hellhound (aka GSD aka German Shepard Dog.) Alice is three years old. Her birthday is December 25th. Alice weights 86 pounds, loves the cats to no end, listens to the “mom voice”, and steals the cat food as often as she can.

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For those who came here looking for a Burning Question or a drawing I aim to please.

Here is a doodle I did a while back of a vampire child and her cat. Just a doodle.

Vampire Maman

The Tiger and Vampire Maman

And something else a little more detailed.

This one was done under another name (aka Marla Todd) but I drew it. This was a while back. I have a stash of works I’ve never shown anyone, and a lot of work I’ve sold or given away. Hell yeah I’ve been paid for my artwork and illustrations.

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Finally…

Drum roll please…

The BURNING QUESTION for today is: How does society influence art?

If you don’t like that one talk about your cats, dogs, art, or spring garden in the comment section below. Yes, that is what the comment section is for. Start the discussions NOW.

Happy Cat-ur-Day.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Alice in Christmas Land

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Joy, and Dogs!

This is my dog Alice in Christmas Land. She will turn two years old on Christmas Day – So Happy Birthday Alice.

Alice is exceptionally sweet, loves to cuddle, smart, playful, and funny. Alice also LOVES the two cats who live with her (not shown – the cat in the photo is doorstop.)

Alice the GSD, VampireMaman

Today’s assignment: Hug your dog, your cat, your Vampire, your child, your mom, or anyone you love or like a whole lot.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

New horizons and dirty dogs (Musings on a Saturday)

They came in groups of four until their number reached almost 500. All in black robes. Some had blood red sashes. Some had medals. Victory was finally theirs. They will rule the world.

Why, no, this is not the start of some epic and lofty Vampire tale. It was GRADUATION DAY yesterday. My daughter Clara graduated from high school! Woo Hoo. It was a lovely ceremony. A lot of music by the kids. Good speeches. I can’t imagine nicer group of young adults. Yes, I got choked up a few times.

Now what? We’re done with K-12 education at my house. Done. Wow. It feels good. It was awesome. It was wonderful. OK. I’m still MOM.

Garrett flew up for the event and will go back down for the last week of college. In the fall he’ll be a Senior at the big university. Clara will be a Freshman at the small college the transfer to the same big university. Her brother might or might not be in Graduate school there when she gets there. We’ll see.

So now what? I have jury duty next week. When I’m asked what I do I will not say, “I write about Vampires and parenting.” I’ll tell them one of the many other “normal” things I do for a living.

I can hear my brother Andy and Clara with their guitars playing and singing Enter the Sandman. Out on the deck the dog and cat are scuttling around while the squirrels bark at them from the trees.

I’m thinking of symbiotic relationships like being a Vampire, or a parent, or a writer, or an artist, or… nothing and just letting my mind finally empty of everything.

And since no Vampire can abide a stinky dog I’ll be leaving in a few minutes to take my 85 pound stinky pup to the self dog wash. Dogs think their motto should be I stink therefore I am. I’m not in agreement. So time to slip on the flip flops and get going. No slinky tight Elvira dresses, and heaven forbid no Vampirella red thong things for me. I’m a little more practical. Most Vampires are. We have dogs to wash, and other regular things we need to deal with too.

I tell my kids that if you insist on being lurking in shadows, sleeping in coffins, and living in some creepy old ruin, you’re going to starve. Seriously, you can get closer to anyone if you smell nice, look nice, and act nice. That goes for anyone who isn’t a Vampire too.

That also goes for dogs, so I’m off. Have a great weekend everyone. Happy Saturday. I’ll be back next week with new adventures and rambling thoughts.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman