Ask Juliette: “I don’t want to do it” Edition, plus Vampires and Religion

Ask Juliette (Ask a Vampire – Advice for Everyone) is a regular feature on vampiremaman.com.

If you have a question for Juliette, or something to discuss send me a message at juliettevampiremom @ gmail .com, or post your question in the comment section below.

This week is sort of like the “I don’t want to do it” edition. I also answer a question about Vampires and religion.

Ask Juliette

Dear Juliette,

Hypothetically, you give me a book to read because you think it’ll be helpful to what I’m going through and also helpful for you. We both know I don’t want to read it but you insist that I do. You tell me I don’t have to but continue to vouch for the book. In the end, I say yes to appease you and a part of myself that wants to read.

I read the first chapter and take a break from it. It’s a bit of a long break. After my break, I realize, I really don’t want to continue reading it. Should I keep reading?

This is just a glimmer of the situation I’m in, the decision I have to make but it’s the best analogy I have come up with.

You read the first chapter. You didn’t want to read the rest of it. End of story. Period. Return the book. You don’t need to explain anything.

I love to share books, but that said, reading is such a personal thing. Book clubs are great, but I like to feel like I own the book that I’m reading. I want to savor it. I don’t want my reading experience to be forced.

What you’re describing sounds like a control issue. Someone doesn’t think you can manage your own life. Usually when this sort of thing happens, the book lender is someone who can’t control HER life. I bet it goes beyond the book and into other areas of your life.

Be it a job, an education path, a relationship, or a book, you have the right to refuse options given to you by others. If you don’t want to be a cook, and you hate being a cook, don’t be obligated to your brother Jeb if he gets you a job as a cook. Just like if your friend Ramona asks you to read “Twilight,” and you can’t stand the idea of sparkly Vampires who stalk high school girls then don’t read it.

A few months ago a relative of mine turned down a book I’d given her because the author uses too many F bombs in the dialog. I understand. No problem. I still read the books, but I’m not offended that my relative does not.

In turn if everyone in your family want to Cambridge University, it is ok if you study art in Florence. I want to study art in Florence too – let’s go.

Again: Don’t read the book unless you want to, especially if it is going to be a painful or uncomfortable experience. You aren’t obligated to give a reason. If this is someone who is constantly pressuring you, giving you advice, or you might even want to check the entire relationship back into the library.

Friends don’t always have to agree on everything. Everyone is different. We all find our peace, and solutions to life’s challenges in different ways. A book might work for your friend, but long evening walks might be your way to deal with those challenges.

People who care about you will walk that path of life by your side. But if they really care they’ll let you take your own side path, and then meet them later. You are the one who gets to decide the path of your journey. You’re also the one who gets to decide what you read.

Good luck on this. Hugs. Thanks for writing.

Unknown

Dear Juliette,

Every December 29 my friends give a New Year’s Eve party and invite my family. Dinner is at 6:00 and we just stand around until midnight. Every year I end up bored and spending most of the night avoiding a couple of my friend’s friends who openly disapprove of me and my lifestyle. Last year I was uncomfortable and bored out of my mind. Even other friends of mine who showed up fell asleep on the couch. I spent about an hour in a bathroom playing games on my phone and nobody noticed I was gone. My husband says we have to go because the hosts are good friends – and we usually have a blast with them. Do we have to go?

You have several options.

  1. Go for a few minutes but don’t stay.
  2. Go later just in time to yell Happy New Year and then go home.
  3. Kindly RSVP and say you have other plans.
  4. Go but drink more than usual and take an Uber home.
  5. Suggest a game of Beer Pong.
  6. Figure out why other events were a blast and try to do that again.
  7. Just ignore the bitches who act like bitches. They aren’t worth your time.

A word to hosts: When you have a party don’t just invite everyone you know. Invite people you know will get along and enjoy each other’s company. If there is nothing to do for hours, then plan activities like fun games (grown ups will like), show some movies, or have a wine tasting session, or do something interesting. Think about parties that worked and the reasons why those parties worked.

Good luck, and whatever you do, have a happy New Year’s Eve.

red-poppies-and-daisies-1890-1

Dear Juliette,

With Christmas coming up I was wondering if Vampires celebrate Christmas, and if they have a religion. Do Vampires worship the Devil? Are they Pagans.

Ho Ho NO, we, Vampires, are not Satan Worshipers. There might be a few, but if you spend any time with demons you will want to do anything but worship that Devil Dude. OK some might but you know, everyone has a choice to go their own way. All we (Vampires) want is to be happy and feel useful and loved.

Most Vampires, who were not born that way, which is most Vampires, come into it with some religious background. It is not exclusive to one religion or the other. Most Vampires I know came in with a Judea Christian belief system.

Vampires can see, and communicate with, Ghosts, Demons, Banshees, and other beings unseen by the normal Human eye. Consequently being an Atheist quickly becomes a thing of the past. You might not see an all-seeing-eye but you pretty much see everything, and everyone else.

Over the centuries many Vampires have become part of the clergy. They have been Catholic priests, nuns, rabbis, clerics, preachers, and ministers of all sorts. Sometimes it works out, but usually it becomes a mask to hide what one really is.

We like churches and other places of worship, mainly because Vampires love music, and most have unusually beautiful singing voices. But every other aspect of a church is uncomfortable. The vibes are just off. Plus nobody wants us there.

Within the Vampire cultures are old societies which have made their own traditions based upon ancient Judea Christian cultures, and holidays. In Asia, and Africa the Vampires tend to linger on the edge of those belief systems, or create their own forms of spirituality.

A lot of new Vampires (those who have recently become Vampires) tend to go through an existentialist period. They wonder if anything does matter at all, considering their world has just been knocked off of its rocker. Even if one has a realistic idea of what it is like to be a Vampire, until you’re there, you have no idea what you’re getting into. Even the most idealistic and romantic of Vampires has a harsh adjustment period – and that adjust period includes questioning one’s very existence, and the existence of one’s soul.

We all know that Vampires have two souls, contrary to popular belief. One soul belongs to the individual, and one of for the shadow. Unlike human souls, these can’t be bought, sold, or taken away, or otherwise forfeited. That pisses off the Demons and their boss to no end.

There ARE Vampires who have no souls. Those are the Vampires who are reanimated after their soul completely leaves their body and moves on. They have completely lost any traces of humanity, love, hope, sorrow, empathy, or sense of a past or a future. They are husks of beings who live to drink blood, like ticks in human form.

So what about Pagans? I don’t know any right off hand. I suppose if one wants to do that they can. Over the years there have been odd little pockets of Vampires who study old ways. Eleora (who is over 2,000 years old) said most people she knew who were what we today consider Pagans stopped the religion because they were tired of human sacrifices. Aside from that she said they tended to be hostile towards Vampires, Selkies, and other folks who were different. There are old religions that work for some Vampires and others. I always say, no matter what you are, go with what makes you feel good and what works for you.

Most of us believe that we are the ones who determine our own fate. There are forces in the world that we can’t control, but we can control how we navigate those forces.

Do we pray? Maybe. Who do we pray to? That my dear is a personal matter, not to be shouted out in public, just as our existence as Vampires is not to be shouted out in public.

I guess to answer an age old question, and mythology of crosses and Vampires shunning anything to do with holy water or whatever, has an answer. In fact my great great great great Grandmama Lola will tell you loud and clear – as she tells you about how her first maybe second husband Thomas was burned to death but people who claimed that we were Devils. It is dangerous for us to go into places where people see us as evil. Yes, bad things happen to good Vampires.

As for Christmas… of course we celebrate Christmas. I just put my lights out on my front porch tonight.

Peace be with you.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Starry-Night-by-Vincent-Van-Gogh

Ask Juliette (Ask a Vampire – Advice for Everyone) is a regular feature on vampiremaman.com.

If you have a question for Juliette, or something to discuss send me a message at juliettevampiremom @ gmail .com, or post your question in the comment section below.

Ask Juliette

 

Vampire House Warming

We all have those turning points in our life. Some we choose and some we don’t. Some we’re nudged in the right or more often wrong direction.

And there are those times when we try to read between the lines too much about the lives of others. It is usually far more complicated or else far less complicated than we think it is.

My brother Andrew (second of 5 siblings) recently moved back to California after several years in London and other parts of the globe and purchased a home in San Francisco. I hear he paid a million and a half for the place in St. Francis Woods, but he could afford it. I hold my breath to think what my brother Max’s home or my parent’s homes with views of the San Francisco Bay and the Golden Gate Bridge would go for. Anyway…this isn’t about real estate.

It is about a lovely housewarming party my brother Andrew hosted. The place was packed with both Vampires and Regular Humans. There were of course musicians (Andy is a singer) and dancers. There were artists and college professors and writers and high tech geeks and all sorts of interesting people with every profession and opinion imaginable. What made this remarkable, as parties and gatherings go, was that Andy’s Regular Human friends know about Vampire. They’re friends with us and don’t have a problem with it.

OK there was one exception. Andy invited his “girlfriend.” Shawna had come up from Southern California where she is a university professor. She is not a Vampire. She is still in that state of wonder and a little bit of disbelief about Vampires and our world (which isn’t all that different than hers, usually.)

Andy is head over heels in love with this divorced mother of two college kids. The story is that she came home from a research trip to find her husband had put her things in storage and moved a new trophy wife into their home. Their youngest child had just gone off to college so it was his opportunity to also make a change. Shocked, she found a small house on a quiet tree lined street and made a new life with her cats and dogs (she wouldn’t leave them behind.)

Shawna was strong and smart and I had no idea what she was doing with my scatter-brained brother. But it was ok. They were cute together and, well, you know all that sort of early romance cute stuff.

I looked out the window to the backyard to see my brother Max kissing his “friend.” This was more than just a friend. I’d heard rumors but this was proof that there was something more than he’d admit to. Funny that she backed out of his arms and went inside alone leaving him to pace a bit then follow her back inside.

In the kitchen I found Shawna. She was cutting up limes.

“I told Andy to have this catered.” I said this trying to be friendly. I could sense a tiny bit of discomfort behind her warm friendly fang-less smile.

“It’s ok, this will just take a second.” She cut into a lime then her hand slipped, of course, in a house full of Vampires, and cut a deep gash in her thumb.

I grabbed her hand and put it in my mouth to stop the bleeding and sealed the wound. I could have left it but it would have required stitches, not to mention drawn a lot of unwanted attention.

I let go and she pulled away with a little bit of horror and disbelief.

“It’s OK Shawna. I sealed the cut. It will heal now without stitches. You’re A positive.” I smiled. “Don’t worry.  I’m not going to drink your blood or bite you or anything. Just basic first aid. We don’t want anyone else smelling blood.”

I suddenly realized that Andy had never bitten her or exposed her to his natural Vampire ways. He was such a gentleman.  He was also a dick when it came to women. He was always falling for anything that wasn’t a Vampire and when it was a Vampire it was usually always someone who was totally wrong for him. He always had to have everything in life more complicated than it had to be.

“Isn’t this sweet,” I heard a smooth male voice say behind me. I turned to see James, one of Andy’s best friends. James who had always watched out for Andrew but who was also one of the most absolutely annoying Vampires in the known universe.

“You know, Juliette and her brother Valentine are two of the best when it comes to Human to Vampire conversions. Almost a 100% success rate, mot to mention a great follow up and support system.”

“Shut up James,” I snapped. Poor Shawna looked horrified. Why was it that everything James said sounded vulgar? Oh right, I know, because he is a flipping pig.

Shawna looked horrified. I was about say something else nasty to James when a very angry Vampire (showing her fangs no less) suddenly slammed him into the wall. “You’re making me sick James. Get out of here before I rip your throat out.”

He held up his hands and backed off. With a smile he said, “Later ladies, I’ll leave you to your tea party.”

Max’s friend Mehitabel  (the one he kissed in the backyard) stood there in a sleek black dress and some great sky high patent leather Mary Janes. She washed her hands saying something under her breath about getting the stink left by James off of them.

Mehitabel was the pretty woman who could either stand out in a crowd, or more likely not be noticed by anyone. That worked well in her professional life. She could stand unnoticed and watch and wait. As for her personal life, I have no idea. I don’t know her that well. I really don’t

I found her entertaining and funny. Sure she was a little distant as well, an odd combination.

Earlier I’d asked her what she was doing for Thanksgiving. She was going to spend it with close friends. They always spent holidays together.  Why did I assume she wouldn’t have anyplace to go? Gossip and rumors can build into false biographies that paint a harsh sad picture of someone who is anything but harsh or sad.

She didn’t ask questions about my brother Max, the object of her affections – not like most women do.  She wasn’t talking to anyone about Max. She’d come to the party because they had mutual friends – nothing more. She was staying at Max’s house but no details of fluttery “wink wink” was forthcoming.

She had known Max for a long long time.  Over the years they’d been in and out of dangerous situations together, even saved each other’s lives. They were considered Vampire elite, thought she didn’t act like it.

So, anyway, I’m standing in the kitchen with two women who for better or worse were involved with two of my brothers. At this point I doubted if anyone was going to come in and rescue me.

“Don’t bother with James,” I said to Shawna.  “I think he was snorting too much dragon dust or something.”

“More likely out feeding on meth heads and heroine junkies,” said Mehitabel in disgust. The she softened her look and approached Shawna.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.  We’re not like that. Andy isn’t like that. He is one of the most gentle souls I’ve ever met, Regular Human or Vampire, and he adores you. He’d never ever let anyone harm you. The same goes for Juliette and me, and everyone here. Even James, even thought he is an asshole.”

I knew there were those would harm Shawna, but then again, I suppose nobody could have hurt her more than her ex-husband, the one who traded her in for a younger model.

After a few minutes and a few cocktails, we forgot about the party and my brothers. We talked of other things, things we all could relate to. We talked about movies and books and shoes and our work.

I suppose there is no point or moral to this story. No usual twist. It is always just odd and I’m glad my kids were in another part of the house, I’m sure being exposed to all sorts of other weirdness.

Just random thoughts about last weekend…

But all in all, I like both of these women my brothers have brought around. Now if my brothers could just behave… And if they don’t behave, I might still just keep these two around.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

_____________________________

and before i could argue him

out of his philosophy

he went and immolated himself

on a patent cigar lighter

i do not agree with him

myself i would rather have

half the happiness and twice

the longevity

 

but at the same time i wish

there was something i wanted

as badly as he wanted to fry himself”

Don Marquis, archy and mehitabel

____________________________________

More on Shawna and Andy (click here.)

More on Max and Mehitabel (click here.)

wine by fire

Vampire Masquerade! I can’t wait!!!!!

I am so excited! We just received the invitation to this year’s Vampire Masquerade! THE most exclusive event of the vampire year!!!!

Clara will have just turned 13 so this will be her very first year! We’re already working on sketches for our dresses.

My mom said she and dad already have something fabulous planned. No surprise from my parents, the most fabulous and stylish vampires I’ve ever met!

It received a text from my old “friend” Pleasant. He said he’d be there. My kids made some snarky remarks. Teddy just laughed. He’ll have plenty of old friends there too. But there will be new friends as well, a few “new” vampires we’re introducing into the Circle!

I can’t wait! I’ll post sketches of our dress ideas. Let me know what you’re wearing!

Hope to see you all there!!!!!

~ Juliette

My Chocolate Affair

And speaking of snacks and treats….

Of course Vampires LOVE chocolate and treats of all kind. We can’t have a lot of it, but when we do it HAS to be GOOD. I mean REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD. And made with LOVE. I swear we can feel the love (you all can if you let yourself go).

So, where do I recommend you get CHOCOLATE? My Chocolate Affair – of course (love love love the name).

In 2005, Elizabeth and Jamie made their love affair with chocolate an obsession, they create their own chocolate confections and gift baskets for all to love. You can find their fine products in their retail store, website and boutiques in CA.

“Chocolate is no ordinary food. It is not something you can take or leave, something you like only moderately. You dont like chocolate. You dont even love chocolate. Chocolate is something you have an affair with.” — Geneen Roth, Feeding the Hungry Heart

  • Getting married? Planning a wedding? Maid of honor? My Chocolate Affair has wedding favors, bridal shower favors that fit any budget. Visit the My Chocolate affair website for sample favors, or call us at (916) 225-3773 and they can customize your favors.
  •  Six hours a day, five days a week a teacher devotes to your child. Give a gift of chocolate to show a small appreciation for all they do for you and your child.
  • Graduation time is here! Time for CHOCOLATE
  • They’ll also do custom orders for special events like parties, business functions, holidays, birthdays…you name it. Give them a call.

 

http://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Chocolate-Affair/116819301544

 

1 (916) 225-3773


Emailorders@mychocolateaffair.com


Websitehttp://www.mychocolateaffair.com

Side note: A dear friend of mine passed away a few years ago leaving an adult cat that nobody else could take (or wanted to take). Elizabeth adopted the cat “Fox”, took her into her home, with her three girls, and loved that cat! Fox is doing great and I hear happy as any cat could ever be. I will always be grateful to Elizabeth and her family for taking Fox into their home.