Old and New. College Life and Musings of A Vampire Mom.

Baby you can drive my car (but not an old VW Bus, absolutely not)

My son Garrett and his best buddy Randy decided they wanted to sell their cars and go in together on a 22 window VW Bus. Uh, no. Absolutely not. Randy’s mom and I both said NO. Their fathers said NO.

They’re both 18 but we (the parents) pay for the insurance. We’re also paying for college. They said they could put their surfboards in it. They can put surfboards in their current automobiles. There are so many reasons why getting a 22 window VW bus is so wrong. Not morally wrong just stupid and impractical.

This is from someone who used to drive a 1969 Fiat 124 Sport. I spent a lot of time on the side of the road with that car. I claimed to love it. Yeah, there were some guys I thought I loved too but they turned out to be Fiats too. Fiat stands for Fix It Again Tomorrow. I loved to drive it – when it ran, which was about 8 months out of the year.

A 1962 VW Bus also stands for Fix It Again Tomorrow of course unless there is a fiery crash before then. And they’re ugly and God knows how many children were conceived in any one of those things and how many tons of pot were smoked in there. VW Bus no doubt stands for Very Weird Business. The ghosts of hippies past is enough to make my head spin. Hey, I’m the mom so I get to say things like this.

So Garrett, in a rare snarky moment, said they could by a hearse. Why not? They’re Vampires they tell me. Absolutely NOT. NO NO NO. Holy shit. No creeper vans either.

I said they could get Vespas if they want to be quaint and charming. They kind of liked that idea.

Fifteen year old Clara on the other hand is thinking along different lines when it comes to cars. She mentioned that she could get  riding lawn mower, the big John Deere kind. She could drive it in the bike lane the 4.5 miles to school. After school she could make money mowing lawns. Sounds good to me. They won’t let the kids ride horses to school or motor homes but I don’t think they ban riding lawnmowers in the school parking lot.

Right now she is taking her online driver’s training in order to get her permit. She said she’d be happy with any car. Good girl. I’m kind of liking the riding lawn mower idea.

I told the boys that they should take the train next time they come home. According to online sources it takes about 7 hours to drive and 5.5-6 hours for the train. Of course it might take 12 hours for either one depending on the conditions, but sometimes a train is a lot of fun (especially for young Vampires.)

Garrett and Randy can usually be found in jeans and some sort of tee band shirt, sweatshirts, or trendy button up, but they are known for channeling their inner Victorian or Rat Pack. Randy likes bright plaid pants, while Garrett has a fondness for vests and hats.

This week they were both on a Frank Sinatra kick with jackets and slacks, but by the end of the vacation they were looking more like lumber jacks. As usual Garrett raided the boxes of his dad’s old things for old formal wear and unusual silk ties. Randy has started to collect vintage Hawaiian shirts – the louder the better.

For Garrett and Randy winter quarter started yesterday. So far so good. Garrett did well his first quarter away from home. Dorm life brings a riot of funny stories. School has been good as well. Chemistry isn’t a lot of fun but other than that he loves it and grades are all good. I’m getting the same reports from Randy. Somehow the two make it work. They always look good.

We talk almost every single day and text but Garrett is still 400 miles away. Somehow I fool myself into believing it isn’t that far since we’re still in the same state.

Before he left Garrett told me about a girl named Morgan who lived in his dorms. She was pretty and considered sweet. But she was one of those people who stays near the wall and doesn’t reach out to others. She was also a Vampire but she’d never reached out to the others like her. She’d been polite but kept to herself.

Before the students left for break they had an impromptu party on Garrett and Randy’s floor. I suspect my son and his best friend were the official hosts but I’m not sure.

Some of the other students were sort of teasing Morgan. “What do you eat? I’ve never seen you eat anything?” Rather than a witty comeback she sort of shunned away from the conversation. Then she slipped down the hall and down the stairs.

He followed her out. She was angry at him for following her. She spun around in the stairwell and snapped, “What do you want Garrett?”

“Morgan, don’t go…”

“I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself in the dark.”

He said it was so said. “You’re not alone. I’m like you.”

“No you’re not. You have no idea what it is like to be completely different from everyone.”

So he showed her his fangs. “I do know.”

Then she started to cry. She’d been so alone and never knew there were at least a dozen more Freshmen at the university like her. She’d been afraid to find donors in the dorms so she started to hang out with graduate students and spend late nights in the library and roaming halls of open buildings.

“You didn’t know I’m a Vampire did you?”

Come on Garrett, of course I know you’re a Vampire. You’re one of the Vampire Elite,” she told him. “You could charm the blood out of Venus de Milo. All the girls love you. Aren’t you afraid someone will turn you in for sexual harassment?”

Garrett stood firm. She was goading him and trying to anger him. “Come on Morgan, my donors don’t know anything happened. Plus I make them happy.”

She gave him a cynical look. “Donors? Don’t you mean prey?”

“You have to make them happy Morgan.”

“I do…usually…sometimes. I know. I just don’t always feel comfortable. It’s easier just to be in the shadows and make them not know. ”

What he more or less got out of her was that making people feel fear or nothing sometimes made her feel like she was in control. Outside of the classroom she never felt she was fully in control.

“I’m not like you and Randy. My family were practically Shadow Creepers. They were ghouls. My parents abandoned me. I don’t even know if they’re alive. I’m Maedocian. Non practicing but… I’m not like you. Don’t you get it? I’m…”

Garrett cut her off. “We’re more alike than different. Let’s go back. You can hang out with Randy and me. I’ll introduce you to the other Vampires.”

“But… ”

“It’s ok Morgan. We won’t bite. At least we won’t bite you.”

She smiled and gave a little laugh. That was good to see. She was beautiful when she laughed. Most girls are.

“And Morgan, don’t ever be ashamed of being who you are. There is nothing wrong with being Maedocian.”

She wiped away another tear. It is rare to see a Vampire cry, even a young one. Garrett had never seen another Vampire so hopeless and alone, or not so alone when it wasn’t by choice.

Maedocians or sometimes on rare occasions called Erebusians. Tellias, who is over 2,000 years old and was around in the old times remembers them using the word Erebus in reference to their group. They took a Greek word referring to shadows and used it for their own proposes. They might have been a mix of Greek or Hebrew but nobody knows for sure. They are not those in the stories of Lamia or Lilith, but come from something without connections to demons or spirits.

They follow the philosophy of a Vampire called Maedoc who lived ancient times. He said that Vampires were chosen to protect the Earth from incoming tides of demons. Everything else after that is sort of vague to me. Some of their customs are odd and they can be extremely spiritual. They’re the oldest known organized group of Vampires, or at least the oldest active group that I know of.

Eleora and Tellias both remember their parents mentioning Maedoc and Eleora’s mother might have known him.

I’ll need to do more research – that is if anyone wants to know more.

Anyway, they went back inside and he introduced Morgan to the other Vampires. She texted him a couple of times over the break. She’d gone to stay with a group of her people in Las Angeles. From what he gathered everything went well.

Garrett wasn’t feeling romantic about her, but he did want to be her friend. When she wasn’t brooding she was interesting and smart.

I called about the VW Bus he’d been interested in buying. Thank goodness it had sold – to somebody else.

Garrett called me when they arrived back at the dorm and said on the drive back to school that Randy had talked about starting a band. Then my child said, “I miss you already mom.”

I miss him too. But I am also excited for him. I’ve let my little bird fly and now he has grown into something with a wide wing span (I know that sounds sappy but it’s true.)

Wishing you all a good week. Drive safe.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Vampire Thanksgiving

Spice and caramel scented candles

Fresh flowers

A nice bit of Bourbon

Cranberries

Zinfandel and Cabernet

Roasted hazelnuts and cashews

Strong cheese

A turkey in the smoker outside

Mixed blood of musicians and free thinkers

Pumpkin and butternut squash soup

Swiss chard with bacon

An caramelized onion tart with a ground walnut crust

Tart apples and pomegranates.

And a table set with old silver and old friends.

 

Our feast will be simple this year but the main courses will be good conversation and the joy of being together for no reason other than to enjoy each the company of those we love. Be it two or twenty – the goal is the same.

As a rule we don’t have our guests for dinner. It isn’t the way of our Vampire culture, so feel free to drop by (it will be safe.)

Garrett is bringing a few friends home from college to join us – a brother and sister who grew up in boarding schools and have no family near.  Of course all of my brothers, my parents, and quite a few friends are coming. There will be many stories to tell and many more to hear.

I’ll try to cover the entire holiday season starting right now. So more to come… there will be a few glitches but you know how it is being a busy Vampire mom.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

lights candles

A little French lesson

The French word “maman,” meaning “mother,” is pronounced “MA-moh.” The second syllable is rather nasal and the final “n” is silent.

I say this because “people” frequently say to me “I read your post on Vampire MahMAN.” Why would I call my blog Vampire MahMAN? Really? That sounds horrible.

So why DO I call the blog Vampire Maman, rather than say, Vampire Mom? Vampire Mom sounds sort of like a cartoon or a joke.

As I was setting up the blog I overhear my daughter talking to one of her French friends. Ah ha. I had a blog name. Plus almost everything sounds good in French.

So remember, silent n. Or you can just call me Vampire Mom or Juliette.

xoxox

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

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Vampire Maman (look I drew something, a tattoo, now leave me alone)

Comforts of Darkness

Darkness isn’t necessarily evil.

My 18 year old son Garrett has had an increasing sensitivity to light, mainly sunlight. It is expected but it is difficult.

He has a good attitude. I try to explain that it isn’t a medical problem. It is just something one has to adjust to and work around. Vampires are masters at the work around.

College starts at the end of September at a university on the coast. He requested a dorm room that faces either North or West. Randy, Garrett’s best friend will be sharing a room with him. Randy isn’t as light sensitive but he still has to be more cautious than their warm blooded friends.

I’m not worried about either one of the boys academically. They’re smart and engaged.

Their charm and sense of humor will get them through. As Vampires that guarantees they’ll never go hungry. Hey, that is important to a Vampire parent.

I seem to have spent most of my time here on earth with work-arounds. I am generally a rule follower, but rules don’t work for me. It isn’t exactly rules but more than the laws of physics and time don’t seem to apply to me at all. Electrical things don’t work for me. At the same time I can get odd things to work and nobody can figure it out. I can fix a computer or a car or figure out a mathematical equation and never know how I got there. Don’t ask me to duplicate it. Despite all of that I am good at process. Trial and error. It is like a puzzle.

When I look at most things in life as a puzzle it saves all sorts of frustrations and in the end I can usually figure it out. If not, it wasn’t worth figuring.

Relationships, whether academic, professional, or personal don’t fall into that category. When something works in that area it is more of a sort of magic.

How can one explain that old friend you don’t see for 20 years yet, when you meet again it is like yesterday? That doesn’t happen with just everyone.

Garrett and Randy will make those kinds of connections when they go off to school. There will be others of their kind there – other Vampires. They’ll all be from different backgrounds with different points of view. At all hours of the day and night they’ll talk about everything under the moon and stars. They’ll solve the problems of the world. They’ll argue and debate. They’ll laugh until their sides hurt. And there will be times when they lend a shoulder for each other to cry on. Or they’ll just silently listen.

Garrett will bring his guitar. Randy will bring his mandolin, keyboard. They’ll both bring sketchbooks and a few art supplies. Randy’s mom and I found some beautiful heavy goblets for the boys to bring along with some fireless candles. They’re Vampires, so sometimes they need something nicer than mugs and plastic red beer cups for when they splurge on a bottle of blood or don’t feel like going out and getting it direct from the source.

The college they will be attending has one of the larger Vampire populations so they’ll be in good company.

Tonight as my husband I went for a walk down by the lake we talked about being young and starting out. The sense of discovery and adventure is always grand. The first heartbreaks and disappointments sometimes seem overwhelming. Then there is the in between where it is closer to discovery and wonder, but in a calm way that sometimes even makes sense. There is hope for the future and room for dreams. It isn’t always easy, but I encourage parents not to say that too often. Let them try and feel and learn for themselves. It is scary. And I mean scary for parents.

We walked in the dark. We’re always in the dark in a way. It isn’t a bad thing.

The kids came after us, along with the dog. They told tall tales of another school, a rival school, where the big thing was girl fights. We had a full description of the fights complete with epic hair pulling and nail scratches. Then they talked of surfing at night as the cool night air came up from the bluffs off of the lake. The conversation moved to the girl at their school who does body piercings and the teen tattoo artist (who is getting really good or so we were told.) Then 15 year old Clara told Garrett that she was going to miss him when he goes off to college. He said there would be more Vampires there. She said it was going to be fun to visit him. And so it will be, if they both promise to behave – but they will. They always do.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Deep in the woods

Deep in the woods

 

Only 72 days until Halloween!

Thoughts on Music, Rock & Roll and Sharing with Your Teens (from the Vampire Mom)

Don’t tell me that you hate your kid’s music. Tell me that you encouraged them to branch out and listen to something new. Tell me that they discovered someone you like too. Tell me that you sang along to a song together. Tell me that you talk about music with your teen.

About Teens and Concerts

I get a lot of traffic on this blog from parents wondering if it is OK to take their kids to a Black Veil Brides concert. Yes, it is. Of course it is LOUD and everyone wears BLACK but the BVB band members give a great show. They also give a safe show. And they have a good message. If your child is under 13 I would not recommend it. Concerts are loud and everyone is packed in. But check out their web site and fan pages  or CLICK here for my article. I’ve taken a lot of teens (mine and friends) to concerts over the years. If you play it safe, check out the band ahead of time, check out the venue, be cool and be safe then it will be fun.

PLEASE DO NOT be an asswipe and drop off your teen young inexperienced teen alone (your under age 17 teen) without a parent or older sibling/friend who can be with them. That is just stupid. Kids get scared and into trouble if you pull shit like that. Remember YOU are the parent (that means you are mature enough to have kids and are responsible for them until they turn 18.)

Go to the concert. Share the music. Have fun even if it kills you. Most smaller venues have places for adults to sit or stand if the kids want to be someplace else. At BIG concerts, like the Fall Out Boy/Panic! at the Disco concert we saw in San Francisco this past fall, you should sit in the stands with your kids (I sat with 8 of them.) It is fun and you can sing along even if you are old.

Black Veil Brides Church of the Wild Ones Tour - Sacramento, CA

Black Veil Brides Church of the Wild Ones Tour – Sacramento, CA

 

 Music Education

There is a lot more to music than what is played on the radio. With YouTube, Pandora and the amazing and old-fashioned but highly successful “Word of Mouth”, kids can learn about thousands of wonderful musicians and musical style options. I am delighted at the variety of music the teens in my life listen to. From Japanese Pop to Alternative Pop Punk to Indie Country to Classical – you’d be surprised what inquisitive teens are listening to and talking about. And yes, we still listen to Weird Al together (the kids and me). Encourage you teens to explore music options.

It is also your job, as an adult, to teach the kids in your life about important music in your life. What did you listen to when you were a teen? What music influences your life? What music made you feel? How did the music of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s (or whenever) influence social history and the music the kids are thinking about today?

 

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A few more words…

In my household we have a lot of different kinds of music. My brother Andrew is an opera singer. My husband likes heavy metal and classical and punk. My kids like Punk Pop and Alternative. At the skating rink we hear the old fashioned skate music played on an organ. I like it all. OK, I’ll admit that most people think my own taste in music is weird, but it isn’t (but I’ll keep it to myself for now.)

The key, as with everything, is to talk to your kids, share with them and discuss what you’re all listening to. And for YOU the adults – try listening to something new. You might just like it. I know you will.

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Related Links on Teens, Music and maybe even a little bit of Vampire stuff (it is all entertaining and/or informative.)

 

Have fun,

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

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Personal hygiene, Vampire Hunters and Real Friends…and don’t forget the Marx Brothers

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Personal hygiene, Vampire Hunters and Real Friends…and don’t forget the Marx Brothers

The other day I picked up my kids, then had to stop by my warehouse to pick up some paperwork. 13 year old Clara was talking with her 16 year old brother Garrett (recently ungrounded) about donors. Clara has just recently started taking live donations. Oh yes, and for those of you who aren’t from our community, and new to this blog – we’re Vampires. Modern Vampires. Forget the nasty black capes, the sleeping in coffins, the ripping out of hearts…we don’t do that. We’re just like you…well, maybe a little older, a little colder and a little more forgiving of those who are “different”.

So Garret was telling his sister “If you get greedy and take in too much blood from a donor all at once you get blood breath”.

Clara squinted up her eyes and nose. “What it smells like copper or something?”

“No”, said Garrett, ” it smells like rotting flesh. It’s gross.”

I had to add in “And if you’re not neat your entire house smells like a stockyard.”

“What’s a stock yard?” asked Clara. Which surprised me, but then again, she has no reason to know about stockyards.

“Mom means a slaughter-house. That’s where cows are killed and butchered,” Garrett told his sister.

“Gross.”

“Not to mention the farts.” Garrett had to mention the farts. What is it about boys and farts?

Clara looked at me in disgust. “Mom. Farts? Really?”

I shrugged and smiled, “Nothing worse than being in your most elegant evening gown, fresh from a kill at some grand party and then rip a big one that the entire party can hear. And if you think it is loud just imagine the smell. Like death warmed over.”

“Rotted flesh on a hot summer day, swarming maggots, skin slipping off of bones” added Garrett.

Clara covered her ears. “Stop it. You two are so disgusting.”

“Just trying to get a point across,” I told her.

“I get it,” said my daughter.

“Good hygiene is a key to survival with Vampires.” I added as we came to the end of the long hallway in the Victorian era building and I took out my key to the last door.

“Juliette.” I heard a voice behind me and turned around. It was Jack, my attorney and very human friend. “I saw the light and thought I’d drop off this paperwork to you.” He greeted the kids and we had some nice small talk. Jack has been a family friend for years, and his kids go to school with my kids. We’re all good. And as long as he doesn’t figure out we’re Vampires it will remain good.

We’re getting ready to leave, talking about maybe a trip to the snow park or maybe the movies (none of us have seen Lincoln yet) when we hear someone else in the warehouse. My senses perk up. The kids can sense something. I feel protective over Jack all of the sudden and even more protective over my two children.

A the end of the hall are three figures all in black.

“I’m sorry, it’s after business hours. You’re going to have to leave.”

They continued forward. I recognized one of them. “Bryan?” I said. My past won’t stop haunting me. Bryan Gould, still handsome but 30 years older than the 24 year old I knew back then,

“Juliette.”” He said this with a deep breath voice that caught even me off guard.

“The Vampires have brought children with them. We’ve caught them feeding?” Said a woman dressed in head to toe black like she is trying to chanel Emma Peal from the Avengers.

“Oh for Pete’s sake. What are you doing here and why did you bring your crazy girlfriend?” I asked Bryan in a deadpan voice.

“You know why Juliette.” He said

“No, I don’t. Honestly after all this time you’d think I’d get a hello how are you after all this time and considering our past history.” This blog is rated PG-13 so I won’t go into that.

“You drank my blood,” Bryan said.

“Leave now or I’m calling 911.” Said Jack. My dear friend Jack.

I now recognized the three in black, including my old friend as Vampire Hunters. Pretty piss poor Vampire hunters but often they’re the most dangerous. Yes, I could read their minds and they were dressed in black with knives and crucifixes and I’m sure they’d all eaten garlic etc etc etc. Idiots.

“They’re idiots Jack.” I turned to Bryan.

“You need to go, NOW.” I was pretty pissed off by now.

“Give me the children,” Bryan yelled at me.

“Put one hand on my kids and I will fucking rip your heart out of your chest.” It was on. I wasn’t taking any crap from him.

Needless to say my kids looked shocked and so did Jack.

Bryan raised a gun at me.

“Don’t hurt my mom.” Yelled Garrett showing his fangs.

“You turned them into Vampires.” Screamed the woman in black.

“They were born that way. And you know what? There is NOTHING wrong with who they are or what they are. What the hell is wrong with you people?” I wasn’t yelling but I was cold and clear.

Poor Jack. I wanted to keep him in the dark but I had to protect him and my children. I stood my ground. “Bryan, we had a lot of good times. It was fun. I wanted to keep those memories good for both of us.”

“Too late Juliette.” My former friend still pointed the gun at me.

“Fine, have it your way.” I walked close to him motioning for my kids and Jack to stay back. Jack started to come forward. “Stay where you are Jack. I’ve got this.”

Byan’s friends came closer. I snarled at them, fangs and all. The jumped back. Then I looked at Bryan and pulled his free will right out of his brain. He dropped the gun then sank to the floor. I took a breath then turned on the others. The man started to run and then fell screaming holding his head. I walked up to the woman. She was breathing hard. I put my hands on her shoulders and got close to her face “You can’t mess with a Vampire if you have evil in your heart. Bother me or any of my friends or family again and I will eat your soul.” She tried to push me away and I kept her frozen, unable to move.

Yes, but what about Jack. Poor Jack.

“Jack, I didn’t want to tell you this, but we’re Vampires. All of us.” I told him. I finally told him my secret. Damn, I hate it when I have to do that.

“I thought…there is no such thing as Vampires.” Jack looked at me all shocked and confused (I mean, wouldn’t you be shocked and confused if this happened to you?)

“There are Werewolves too.” Said a deep voice. There at the door was my friend Adam, the Werewolf, and best photographer in Northern California. “I heard Bryan was on his way over. I tried to stop them. I swear I had no idea what he’d gotten himself messed up with.

“What the Hell happened here?” Said a voice I didn’t know. Behind Adam was a small woman in a really cute tweed coat and flaming red (natural color too) hair. “Oh, Juliette, Clara, Garrett, Jack, I’d like to introduce you to my girlfriend Brandy.”

Poor Jack was totally confused by then. He knew Adam. They’d known each other since high school and both went to UCLA together (Adam in Art, Jack in Political Science and Law) and ended back up in their hometown.

“Adam?” Jack stared at his old friend in shock.

I walked up to Adam. “Do you think you can talk any sense into Bryan or am I going to have to mess with his mind. I’d rather not, but I’m not taking any chances with my kids or Jack.” I turned to Jack. “Jack, I hate for you to have to deal with this but there is a whole big world out there you know nothing about.”

Jack looked at me, still in shock “You’re telling me there are really Vampires?”

Adam answered him. “Yes and I’m a Werewolf, so is Brandy. But don’t flip out on me friend. We’re cool. We don’t hurt people. In fact we help more people than we ever hurt in the past. We’ve got a bad rap.”

“You said you’d rip his heart out?” Jack motioned to the Vampire Hunters on the ground.

I answered him gently. “If he’d touched any of you I would have, but it was mostly a bluff. You know the mother wolf in me, no offense Adam.”

“None taken.” Said the Werewolf.

“Mom”, said Clara “What are you going to do with these people?”

I really didn’t want to tell her what I should do with them. In the old days I wouldn’t have thought twice of draining every drop of blood in their bodies and ripping their hearts out but I just don’t like doing that sort of thing anymore. I never liked it. But then again, I never had children before either. I didn’t want these goons or their leaders to come after them again.

Then I noticed she had been crying. That was it. Nobody makes my child cry.

Garrett spoke up. “It’s like that movie Shallow Grave.”

“When did you see that?” I asked surprised even for a Vampire mom. He wasn’t supposed to see that one yet.

“With Dad.” Said my son.

What goes on when I’m not home I’ll never know.

Jack seemed to be in shock. I’d have to calm him down. Adam and Brandy looked at the Vampire hunters in disgust. They could have well be Werewolf hunters. The door opened again. Who was it this time? I hoped not the police.

There were the elder Vampires Tellias and Eleora . He was dressed in a long black coat, an old fashioned tuxedo shirt and red pants. His pale blonde hair was tied back in a black ribbon. She wore a red mini skirt, high black rubber rain boots and a red coat with huge shoulder pads with a large white fake fur collar. Her red lipstick had sort of a weird uneven outline like one of the girls from Terry and the Pirates. Both had goggles around their necks and snorkels. They were both wearing straw hats, the kind people wear out gardening.

They came in and fussed about in their usual manner, showering my children and I with hugs and kisses. They were so lovely and frail, almost more like Fairies than Vampires.

“What are the goggles for?” I asked.

“We were going to go swimming in the river,” said Tellias.

“That’s nuts” said Jack “you’ll drown. The currents are too strong and the water is too cold this time of year.”

“We won’t die,” said Tellias in almost a whisper.

“We’re undead.” Elora told Jack in a whisper and tone that matched Tellias.

“So Vampires are dead”, Jack asked looking straight at me.

“No, we’re very much alive, meaning we’re undead,” I answered in all truth.

“You’re soulless gouls,” Jack gasped.

“We have souls only unlike you our souls belong to us and us alone.” I tried to get him to understand.

“So my soul isn’t mine?” Jack asked now clearly confused beyond return.

I took a deep breath. “Jack, your soul is yours and you can do what you want with it including selling it. Vampires can’t sell their souls, not to anyone. Needless to say unlike humans we’re impervious to the forces of evil. Of course we can be tempted and we do bad things, but we can’t sell our souls to control fate or whatever. In turn angels and the like ignore us but it is what it is. They’re the ones missing out if they don’t get to know us.”

The oddly dressed elder Vampires studied over the prone figures in black.

“They’re bad people.” Eleora said as she stepped around them making a circle.

“Bad indeed,” said Tellias.

“Indeed,” said Eleora.

“Who are they? They can’t be over 21.” Jack gasped looking from them to me.

“They’re elders. They’re over 2000 years old.” I answered.

“We were born in BC.” Tellias said stepping towards Jack.

Eleora took Jack’s hand. “Not Canada, Before Christ. A long long time ago.”

Tellias ecoed, “a really long time ago.”

“We just look young,” said Eleora.

“We’ve been around a long long time,” said Tellias.

Jack pulled his hand from Eleora. “How old are you? Juliette?”

“Jack, you don’t need to know.” He really didn’t.

“Juliette, tell me. Please.” He was begging now, well almost.

I took a deep breath. “I’m 153. Teddy is 163. We’re young as Vampires go.”

“We’re going swimming,” said Eleora.

“And we’re good swimmers and we can see under water” said Tellias.

“We’re very good swimmers,” sad Eleora.

“Yes, very good,” said Tellias.

“Do you have your suits with you?” Garrett asked this question.

“We’re going to go naked,” said Eleora.

“Completely naked,” chimed in Tellias.

I do love my old Vampires. They’re sort of odd, well, sort of is an understatement, but I love them.

 

“So what are we going to do with these three?” Asked Adam.

“We’ll deal with them Werewolf. Don’t worry about a thing. We’ll wipe their memories clean and send them on their merry way,” Tellias said with a lovely white Vampire smile.

“We’ll deal with them.” Eleora said as she kissed Adam on the cheek. Adam smiled then looked slightly uncomfortable at being approached by a Vampire so ancient.

Bryan groaned. Brandy nudged him with her foot. “Shut up or I’ll rip your throat out,” she growled at him.

I wanted to tell her “Good Dog” but stopped myself.

Then the door opened again. In walked a couple dressed in skinny jeans and stylish jackets and of course scarves. One must have a scarf these days.

The Elders danced over to them and embraced and introduced their friends. Poor Jack was ready to pass out at this point with all the weirdness.

The elders introduced their friends. LeRoy and Jasmine were young and hip.

“We saw your car and thought we’d drop in,” said Jasmine.

“Are you Vampires too?” asked Jack.

“We’re vegans. But we’re cool if you’re a vampire. If you’re born a predator it’s your nature. That’s just the way you are and we accept that. I mean, like, my cat eats meat,” LeRoy answered.

This was starting to remind me of that scene in Night at The Opera (Marx Brothers) when about 100 people crowded into a closet size state room, then someone opened the door. You know what happened. If you don’t see the clip. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZvugebaT6Q

The Elder Vampires, LeRoy and Jasmine removed the bad people in black. Adam and I made a list of 100 people we needed to track down and find out what happened (or it seemed like 100). He and Brandy also helped me explain to my kids just what happened. We’d talk more on the way home and I’m sure for the coming weeks. Of course I know my children won’t talk about this except maybe to their Vampire friends. Everyone who needs to be informed will be.

Then there was Jack. He was shocked to know that his wife had known we were Vampires for years. She thought it was exciting. Jack still needed convincing. But I let him know that he was always safe and protected as long as he was my friend, which would be for always. That is how Vampires are. Once a friend, always a friend.

So the moral of this story is that you just have to roll with things but first and foremost:

  • Protect your children at all costs.
  • Surround yourself with friends you trust.
  • Keep those friendships strong.
  • Keep your elders in your life.
  • Don’t judge your friends by their eating habits.
  • Don’t put up with jerks.
  • Always bring a towel along if you’re going swimming (well, ok, according to Hitchhikers Guide always have a towel.)
  • And if you haven’t seen them already, make sure you see “A Night At The Opera” and “Duck Soup”. Marx Brothers. Don’t worry, they aren’t Communists.

That’s it for now.

Have a great weekend.

~Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

traditional vampire

 

This was first posted in January 2013