When I started this blog I was working full time for an organization outside of my home. My brain and the rest of my time was filled with Middle School and High School activities. I spent more time with my brothers. The canine love of my life was in her prime.

I couldn’t imagine having grown children.

Now everyone is in college. We discuss school but I’m not that involved, except to be a cheerleader, a therapist when needed, an entertaining distraction, and the one who pays for everything. Jasmine the white sled dog has gone over the rainbow bridge – her ashes sit in a box among old photographs. My cats are still here. A new dog Alice, a large goofy GSD is now in my life. I work alone at home. I rarely see anyone, except ghosts, and my ancient family members who welcome my visits, which need to be more frequent.

The sports and the activities have trickled off to almost nothing. I don’t have to drive anyone anywhere. I am alone here with a house full of books and animals.

Then again new activities call me. There is the art museum. There is my art. There are books in the works. There are walls to be painted. There are funny stories to tell.

And if I muse into melancholy madness Nigel the ghost will show up and kick my ass so I’d better move on.

We all change and evolve. That is part of being on this strange, horrible, and wonderful planet. We are trapped here so we need to be fluid. We need to keep evolving no matter how old or young we are. Growth never ends.

I find myself telling my kids not to judge others for what they do or the choices they make. Not all young people have it as good as they do. They don’t have someone helping them pay for school and everything else. They don’t have someone who is there 24/7 to listen. They don’t have someone who doesn’t judge them or question their every move. They have a safety net. Not everyone has that so their choices can’t be judged. I urge everyone to understand the choices of others.

There is no clear path. Five year plans are wonderful until a tornado hits your house, or someone you love dies, or you get sick, or the economy crashes, or your heart gets broken. So you take another road, or climb out of another window, or up another tree, or make where you are a better place. You add more books to your shelves and make an effort to call your friends, and your mom.

Parenting adults is tricky because they don’t want to listen, they need you to listen more than anything in the world, and they start to parent their own parents.

Yes, they do all of that.

It is scary. More scary that a pack of zombies banging at your back door. You can deal with zombies. You don’t love them. They just make a mess. But dealing with your kids, no matter how easy and wonderful they are, is always a challenge.

Dealing with Zombies: Shot gun. Flame thrower. Pissed off Vampires.

Dealing with Adult Children: Listening. Worrying. Loving. Worrying. Listening. Loving. Laughing. Learning to let them be adults. Learning not to be afraid.

Don’t be afraid.

Everything will be alright.

With your kids, and with you.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Vampire Maman



Quick Musings From a Modern Vampire Mom

Sometimes I like the idea of being a Vampire better than actually being a Vampire.

The media portrays us as either cold stone killers, or some sort of romantic society of immortals in black glam clothing. It just isn’t like that.

I can’t tell you how many times Vampires I know have expressed the wish for a drive-thru window for blood or even a nice warm neck or wrist. We all know that isn’t going to ever happen.

When we need something fresh we can’t just have something in the pantry. No really, we don’t keep live people around for food. No Vampire in his or her right mind has done that for centuries. Not only is it illegal, but it is kind of icky too.

My eldest child, now at home for the summer, has a sensitivity to the sun, as do most of us. His is extreme. Add to that the fact that he goes to college in a beach town. Sign. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to go pick him up from school.

I mean, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages for most Vampires, but sometimes it would be nice just to feel a little bit warm and a little bit more alive. Then again…you’ll never hear me complaining that I’m bored.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Metaphysical musings and a visit from the ghost…or what creeps out a vampire part 348.

This afternoon as I drove to pick Clara up from school I passed the tattoo shop where last year a man beat his wife to death with a baseball bat. I can’t get the image of the police tape and the morgue van out of my head.

One of the two main streets in our neck of the woods is an unfortunate but interesting blend of auto repair shops, bars, an abundance of tattoo parlors, small restaurants, a newspaper, pizza places, recycle shacks, self storage, fishing supply stores and a dive rock and roll bar and of course a Wal-Mart. In the early mornings the recycle guys are out picking cans and bottles. The homeless people are waking up. The donut shops are opening. The area is semi rural still so there are a lot of places to set up a hobo camp. Most of them are mentally ill. I have no idea where they came from. Back behind it all are nice neighborhoods that don’t have anything to do with the main street, or at least pretend not to. Or we just laugh about it and call it “character.” A little WT character if you ask me. Oh well.

Someone once described this small stretch of road to me as “quaint” and “small town.” It is the next community over where the shops are nicer and the violent crime rate is higher. Go figure. 

I’m not in a “I hate people” mood today, because despite the rampant ignorance and violence and hate in most parts of the world most people here are OK. I have to admit that I’m in sort of a blah mood but not an “I hate fill-in-the-blank” mood.

My Friday lunch date had to cancel on me today. I always look forward to my Friday lunch dates, as you well know. Anyway, I settled on the owner of a metaphysical book store. We first chatted about the amazing new releases. i smiled and never uttered a word that I think it is all New Age bull shit. Then again he had no idea that one of his favorite customers is a 154 year old Vampire. Oh well. So lunch was type O+ with a hint of local marijuana that I could have done without. But the guy is a sweetheart and my go-to source when I don’t really feel like a hard core hunt. The energy is always weird for me. I feel like a creeper when I go see my crystal singing friend. He is so sweet and I’m not sharing his vibe.

But on a good note,  if he suspects anything he won’t bring out his baseball bat. I know, I know, I know that was in bad taste.

I stopped in front of the school and texted a few friends with invitations. This weekend, this long weekend, I just want to spend with my own kind. I want to get out of the heat and the blinding light of summer. I want to sleep all day.

Clara had a good week, it was low key. There were a few rants about high school both about the other kids and the teachers. We listened. She talked. Her brother took her out for hunt to make her feel better. Teens don’t always want to go out with their parents when it comes to hunts. I don’t blame them, as long as I know where they are.

Wait… excuse me for a minute…

I felt a cold blast of air and looked to see two ice blue eyes and a shock of black hair falling across the left one. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and sat across from me. One never knows when a ghost will show up.

“You know, you ought not to write such glum posts,” he said with a serious look that turned into a snarky smile.

I sat up and rolled my shoulders. “It has been a long day Nigel and I’m not sure I’m even going to post this.”

“You know, Juliette, Vampire, sometimes I feel as if I am centuries older than you are.”

I am exactly a century older than the ghost.

“Do you need something Nigel?” I caught his eyes in mine, but without the effect I have on Regular Humans.

“I’m a ghost. i don’t need anything. But you need sleep and a maybe a vacation. Or… What did you do for lunch today? You’re always happy after your Friday lunch dates.”

I told him out the metaphysical guy and the scent of sandalwood candles and pot and wind chimes and some sort of weird wooden flute music playing in the background. I told him how it made me want to crawl out of my skin into the darkest place I could find.

He laughed.

I had to smile. “Some things dear ghost are even weird for a Vampire.”

We sat looking each other in the eye with some unspoken language between those who live in the shadows. Then I had an idea.

“Nigel,” I said, “Halloween will be here soon, help me with ideas.”

” I’ll come as a dead guy.” Then he laughed and vanished into thin wisp of cold smoke as blue as his eyes.


Have a good long weekend everyone,

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman






The answer is still no

I’ve frequently posted answers to questions about Vampires on this blog. The answer is usually “no” or “I won’t tell you.”

I’ve also commented on things NOT to say to Vampires. Well, I’m in hot water because some readers want to know what the CAN say to a Vampire.

So what CAN and SHOULD you say to a Vampire?

Of course my brain immediately went blank. I suppose you could say anything polite and witty to a Vampire and you’d be OK…. maybe.

The general rule is that if you know someone is a Vampire, and you’re not, it isn’t always going to go well.

So in musing about this subject I asked Tellias, one of the ancient Vampires in my life about conversations with regular people.

We were sitting on his front porch a few nights ago sipping cold goblets of Poets Blood (from a new shipment at Dave’s Dark Wine Emporium) pondering the meaning of life.

He told me story about how he handled questions from regular humans who find through various means that we’re Vampires.

“Juliette, my dear girl,” he started as he took my hand. “They’re naturally curious about us, as you well know. Back in my Roman days they considered me a minor demigod. They knew I was different with certain powers but they didn’t know what a Vampire was. I went along with it and used it to my advantage, rather innocently I dare say. But sometimes I’d just be annoyed by not being with my own kind, like a foreigner in my own land.

Every once in a while someone would ask me if they’d suddenly have the ability to see the Gods or see the future if I’d drink their blood or something ridiculous like that. I brushed off most questions. I mean, it was a good life, I can’t say it wasn’t. I lived in luxury, the pretty blonde boy who couldn’t be killed and could read minds and keep everyone feeling calm. But after a while I wanted my own kind. I wanted to be with a woman who liked a cold touch and understood what I was. Converting someone wasn’t an option. Roman culture wasn’t right for Vampires. I needed a real Vampire woman. I found her in Britain. Right, but back to your question. Their questions. As long as someone isn’t rude or exceptionally stupid I’ll answer anything. Of course I’d rather they not even know I’m a Vampire in the first place. But if someone does know, like those rare people who DO know just because they know, or those who find out accidentally…what were we talking about? Oh yes, as long as they don’t ask to be converted into a Vampire or ask stupid personal questions I’m not going to be offended. It still doesn’t mean I’ll answer them.”

He ran his hand though his white blond hair and gave me a smile. “Of course I always taught you kids that no matter how friendly or comfortable regular people are with Vampires, you always have to keep that thin line of fear between you and them. We can’t let them get too comfortable or we might as well end up becoming Vegans and turn to dust.”

Tellias always had a way of making things make sense even when he wasn’t completely at his wits. The 2,000 year old Vampire looks all of age 20 but spent centuries nurturing and mentoring the Vampire community.

As for my friends, my few friends who know I’m not like them, I let them know there are limits on what I will and won’t tell them. It all boils down to good manners and respect.

Tellias started to hum a tune I didn’t recognize, something ancient and strange. I sipped from my goblet and listened to the sounds of the night thinking of how odd it is of us to be so different, yet to us it was so normal. Then again, maybe we’re the normal ones.

And the answer is still no.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman



Life, Love and Halloween

Sometimes I wonder about the paths people take and the talents we’re all given. Sometimes we have talents we don’t even know we have. Sometimes we have talents we love. And sometimes we have talents we don’t like.

I have talents I don’t like and the yearly advent of Halloween always reminds me of that fact.

I came home to find my brother Max was over. For those of you who don’t know the back story, he is my eldest brother and since childhood, Max and my husband Teddy have been best friends. Max  has dedicated his life to hunting the Vampire hunters and protecting Vampires, Werewolves, Regular People and anyone else needing help from unsavory characters that go bump in the night. You know all of those Vampire novels with the smoking hot sexy Vampire guy? My brother Max is that guy. Yes, THAT guy.

Max is a muscular stealth Vampires with the piercing eyes, wild and mysterious good looks and quiet strength. He is also kind of an asshole a lot of the time, but he is also a Vampire with a generous heart and he is damn good at what he does. And he is always, my brother. He never lets me forget that fact based on the amount of advice (aka shit) he dishes out on me. But I can dish it back in triplicate.

I’ve been told that I’m a natural for that line of work Max does, and I sometimes have to deal with weird stuff, but I get too emotional when I have a run in with creepy types. I mean, ok, I could be considered creepy but hey, it is all a matter of opinion and point of view. And it isn’t emotional like I cry and get all squishy. It is emotional like I want to rip heads off. Like I said, everyday is Halloween around here.

We’re hanging out in front of the fire place. There isn’t a fire in it, just a cat tonight who is sleeping. Max tells me about how he is working Halloween and due to a new Anne Rice book about Werewolves he is on double duty, because most Werewolves are sort of geeks at heart and just big loveable dogs so they’re bait on Halloween for people who hunt those like us, those who aren’t Regular Humans. Max doesn’t like Werewolves. He respects them for what they are but he doesn’t like to be around them.

Halloween is great for Vampires. We can go out in public and show off our teeth and everyone loves it. Nobody suspect those neck bites are real. People are happy to see us. The same goes for Werewolves  and all sorts of other types of not so regular folks.

In turn, Halloween is also a danger filled night for Vampires because it is the night all of the Vampire Hunters come out looking for us. Oh boy.  Now I know how black cats feel and it isn’t good.

We’re talking about life and general Vampire stuff. I tell him a weird story, he tells me a weird story, then we talk about our parents. I guess we’re just like any other family.

So I HAVE to ask. “Are you seeing anyone?”

Max takes a sip of his wine (of course we have wine) and takes a deep breath. “I’m always seeing someone.”

“Max, you know what I mean. Someone special.” On a side note, I have four brothers and three of them are single so it is my job as the only girl child to check in on their romantic states.

Max gives me a bit of a scowl. “I’m too busy for a relationship.”

I’m getting the don’t push it Juliette vibe from him.

We talk about my kids and he comments how he worries about them. I reassure him that high school, their school in particular, is a good place to be right now. My husband and I have kept close to the kids and keep a watchful eye, even with our independent Vampire teens.

So yes, everyday is like Halloween when you’re a Vampire, because sometimes love and life in general can seem pretty scary. But like Halloween, everyday can bring a lot of fun and a lot of sweetness.

Have a good weekend everyone and a very Happy Halloween season.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


Tucked away

Tucked away in the shadows of the night, we gather together with dim lights and candles.

Our faces bright and alive. I’ll catch a smile or a laugh. Even when it is only us we’ll still be holding our collective secrets close to our hearts.

There are those times when we want to be separate from the rest of the world, and just be us without pretending or hiding.

Of course at home I don’t even think about it. Most of the time none of us do. Then again, sometimes the isolation makes all of us a little somber. A little colder and a little bit more hungry.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman