What kind of Vampire are YOU?

What kind of Vampire are YOU?

I sleep _____________________

  1. On a futon made of organic cotton and soy fibers.
  2. After my kids go to bed – so not enough.
  3. In a four posted bed with beautiful curtains and silk sheets.
  4. In my coffin in a crypt

I drive_________________________

  1. A hybrid
  2. My husband and kids crazy
  3. A 1966 Mustang Fast Back that I purchased new
  4. A hearse

I’m hungry. I see a cute guy _____________________

  1. I ask if he is a vegan. If he answers yes, I take about a pint of blood off of him.
  2. I ask him if he is feeling ok. If he answers yes, I take about a pint of blood off of him.
  3. I seduce him and take about a pint of blood off of him.
  4. I drain his body of blood then dump his cold drained body in a ditch.

What really makes me sad.

  1. People thinking Vampires are politically incorrect
  2. Kids dealing with bullies.
  3. The continuing stupidity of mankind
  4. I don’t care.

My favorite animal is a

  1. Hedgehog
  2. Cat
  3. Wolf
  4. I have no use for animals

My home is ____________________________

  1. All solar
  2. Sort of like Grand Central Station
  3. Which one? The beach house or the Victorian in town?
  4. A dark castle without heat or air.

If someone asks you if you’re a Vampire you say:

  1. That is so politically incorrect. I have my rights.
  2. Excuse me? Didn’t your mama teach you any manners?
  3. How could you say such a thing?
  4. Answer in a thick accent that is not your own “I vant to drink your blood.”

My biggest fear is _____________________________

  1. Not being true to who and what I am.
  2. Someone will try to harm my family.
  3. Vampire Hunters
  4. Garlic and Crosses

If you were on a desert island with a zombie would you___________________

  1. Ask it how it feels about being a zombie and if that has made it’s self –esteem suffer
  2. Figure out how to keep it comfortable.
  3. Make it go sit on the other side of the island until it stops grunting.
  4. Bite it.

The way to kill a vampire is__________________________

  1. That is just so wrong. Your karma is going to spiral down to nothing.
  2. Excuse me?
  3. Don’t talk like that?
  4. Burn it or cut out it’s heart or cut off it’s head.

My favorite kind of blood is ___________________________

  1. From people who live clean.
  2. From people I like but I’m not too close to, especially if they have a good sense of humor.
  3. From lovers.
  4. The blood of the damned.

My favorite other than blood is:

  1. Carrot and kale juice that I make myself
  2. Gin and tonic
  3. A nice full bodied Zinfandel
  4. I only drink blood.

The quote that describes me the best:

1. Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. When the destructive analysis of day is done, and all that is truly important becomes whole and sound again. When man reassembles his fragmentary self and grows with the calm of a tree. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

2. Silently, one by one, in the infinite meadows of heaven, Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of the angels.~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Evangeline

3. How like a queen comes forth the lonely Moon From the slow opening curtains of the clouds Walking in beauty to her midnight throne! ~George Croly, Diana

4. I speak the words of no man. I live alone in the dark.


If you answered mostly 1 you’re a new age Vampire. Peace, love and organic kale! Just be careful you get enough iron with all those vegans.

If you answered mostly 2 you’re a Vampire Maman. Yep, you have kids. Don’t forget you need your own hunting time! All bottled blood is ok some of the time but not all of the time.

If you answered mostly 3 you’re an old fashioned romantic Vampire. Just don’t let a pretty face catch you off guard. Watch for Vampire hunters!

If you answered mostly 4 you’re really sick and need professional help.


9 thoughts on “What kind of Vampire are YOU?

  1. Pingback: What kind of Vampire are YOU? | West Coast Review


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