Since the invention of metal spoons humans have been hanging spoons off of their noses. Really. I kid you not.
My son Garrett (almost 17) told me that most of his regular human friends and their families hang spoons off of their noses. They do it at birthdays, around the table at major holidays, in study groups and anytime there is a gathering with food and friends. They hang spoons.
“I can’t do it mom,” my son told me with a sad frustrated look.
“What’s going on?” His father had come into the room.
“Why can’t Vampires hang spoons off of noses?”
“Is that important?” Whoops Dad you said the wrong thing.
“I’m sick of not being able to do things that my friends do. I’m tried of not fitting in.”
Neither my husband or I even asked our son to list those things that Vampire teens can’t do. Being popular, smart and exceptionally good looking wasn’t a comfort. Sometimes it is those small things that make one fit in.
“Show me the nose thing,” said Dad.
Garrett put a spoon up to his nose. He tilted his head back and carefully slid the spoon to the tip of his nose. The spoon fell to the floor. “Everyone I know can do this, except my Vampire friends. I’m tired of being a freak.”
I could have said it is just a spoon on the nose, but I knew it was more than that.
“Did you breath on it?” Asked my husband.
“It won’t work. Our breath is cold. Our noses are cold. The texture of our skin is all off. And I’ve tried everything. It isn’t a silver thing. Stainless and plastic doesn’t work either.”
I looked at my sad men and knew that as usual that Mom would save the day. I turned on the kettle and as the steam came out I put the spoon under the hot damp air. Then I put it on my nose and it stayed.
“You can make hot breath. Now hang yourself a spoon.”
And so they did – they hung spoons off of their noses.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman