Small Talk

I’m either in jeans and a sweatshirt or a little black dress. Or jeans and a black tee shirt. Or something black. I know, I’ve said things that go against the grain of stereotypical Vampire stuff, but I’m both practical and lazy. They’re classics. All classics.

This morning I met with Cody, my young thirty something friend who is fairly new to being a Vampire. I can’t believe it has been four years. Anyway, he showed up with a man bun, a red plaid jacket, and a rather unflattering beard. He had the lumbersexual look down to a tee.

“Cody,” I told him, “most Vampire men avoid beards.” I didn’t add for obvious reasons. “Why cover that handsome face of yours?”

Then I gave him the look. You know that look that says you’re wonderful and you’re an idiot all at the same time.

And just as he was about to tell me my glasses were dirty I said, “If they weren’t dirty you wouldn’t know it was me.”

That unnerved him a bit. He still isn’t quite used to me grabbing his thoughts out of his head before he can find a polite way to express them. I took off my still dark glasses and buffed them out with my shirt (yes I do that too.)

We sat outside, sipping our coffee under an umbrella, and watching people walk by.

Cody, usually confidant, looked down at his hands, then looked into my face. “How do you deal with it? Being so different.”

“You mean being a Vampire or being Juliette?”

He laughed. “A Vampire.”

“Being a Vampire is easy. Being Juliette is much much more difficult. Are you having creature of the night issues?”

“Not really, but it still seems weird sometimes. I have a girlfriend who lived before the printing press was invented. At least she likes my hair.”

“I love your hair.”

I didn’t take the opportunity to mention his girlfriend is my great great great great grandmother. I’ve never mentioned it to him, or her. They’re happy. Besides, she looks younger than him.

We talked a while, just small talk and coffee.

My phone started to ding.



I had to smile. My dear college boy was making contact.




“Do you feel like a real Vampire Cody?” I’d never asked anyone that before.

“I do. Thanks for asking. It shows you care.”

I smiled. I might be cold blooded but I’m not cold hearted.

So today’s parenting tip is to do what you can to help your kids feel comfortable with who they are. Make them feel welcome in their own skin. And be there for them – even after they’re grown. Sometimes you just need to be around others who know who and what you are.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Sunny Saturday Musings

Sometimes I wonder of the insanity of the Modern Vampire Movement. I am out mid-morning, the sun is out, sandals on my feet. This is insane. But we have things to do, people to see in a world that revolves around daylight hours. Good Day Sunshine is not always my favorite song. I am waiting in my car for the child to finish her guitar lesson. The bricks on the buildings around here make me think about my childhood when my parents would worry so much and second guess their decision to raise us in the light. Living in two worlds has more advantages than disadvantages.

I suppose most of us, those of us who are more complex and interesting live in several different worlds.

Just musing today from my tiny magic box made by a fruit company.

Juliette aka Vampire Maman


Why something simple like hanging a spoon on your nose is important (to a Vampire Teen)

Since the invention of metal spoons humans have been hanging spoons off of their noses. Really. I kid you not.

My son Garrett (almost 17) told me that most of his regular human friends and their families hang spoons off of their noses. They do it at birthdays, around the table at major holidays, in study groups and anytime there is a gathering with food and friends. They hang spoons.

“I can’t do it mom,” my son told me with a sad frustrated look.

“What’s going on?” His father had come into the room.

“Why can’t Vampires hang spoons off of noses?”

“Is that important?” Whoops Dad you said the wrong thing.

“I’m sick of not being able to do things that my friends do. I’m tried of not fitting in.”

Neither my husband or I even asked our son to list those things that Vampire teens can’t do.  Being popular, smart and exceptionally good looking wasn’t a comfort. Sometimes it is those small things that make one fit in.

“Show me the nose thing,” said Dad.

Garrett put a spoon up to his nose. He tilted his head back and carefully slid the spoon to the tip of his nose. The spoon fell to the floor. “Everyone I know can do this, except my Vampire friends. I’m tired of being a freak.”

I could have said it is just a spoon on the nose, but I knew it was more than that.

“Did you breath on it?” Asked my husband.

“It won’t work. Our breath is cold. Our noses are cold. The texture of our skin is all off. And I’ve tried everything. It isn’t a silver thing. Stainless and plastic doesn’t work either.”

I looked at my sad men and knew that as usual that Mom would save the day. I turned on the kettle and as the steam came out I put the spoon under the hot damp air. Then I put it on my nose and it stayed.

“You can make hot breath. Now hang yourself a spoon.”

And so they did – they hung spoons off of their noses.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

For more on hanging spoons click here.


Quiet musings on parenting teens

Quiet Musings on parenting teens from Vampire Maman


His cold hand brushes my face,

He speaks quietly,

Assuring me that our children

Are not slipping away into the abyss

Called High School.


I spend the first 12 years encouraging,

Prompting them to fly,

Encouraging them to be independent,

And now I fear that they’ll fly too far.


We’ll always be close with them.

That will never change.

I still feel the slight tingle of doubt and fear.

Something more frightening to a mother,

Than any zombie attack or ghosts can bring.


We celebrate and dread that our children

Are growing up.



He puts his arms around me,

I can hear the faint slow beat of his heart,

We speak of how we love,

We speak of our children,

Of passion, of life and love and longing,

Of our fears and hopes and joys of our efforts,

And the wonders we’ve created.

All of us in the shadows,

As hot and fast as fire,

In our cold slow Vampire hearts.

Vampire romance

Vampire Musings of Night and Love – A Poem

Vampire Musings of Night and Love


Alive as any living person,

Your touch always there

Your hands near mine

Clasping my fingers

Your mind wrapped around my heart


We are the secret keepers

The parents of the joyful

Children of our future

Those who pass on

The knowledge of the years


It isn’t about the others

They think it is all about them

Their bodies and blood.

When in fact…it isn’t about anything.

It just is.


I never tire of the way

You look at me and smile,

The way we watch the stars

Lovers of the night

And of the heart and soul of us.