Life gives us options (and it’s not just about you)

I received a weird email from someone asking if I’d re-post a blog article called “Seven Reasons not to Have Kids.” OK folks, this IS first and foremost a parenting blog (I’m a little different, but I’m a mom and that is my blogging viewpoint).  It is none of my business whether you want kids or not. I don’t care – I just care that you are happy with your choices and live a well-adjusted responsible life.

But that said, it got me thinking about how rabid and opinionated people can be when it comes to viewing the life choices others make. I’m amazed at how threatened others can be about the life choices of others.

If someone writes a blog about having only one child,  insecure mother’s with multiple kids (I’m talking 6 or more) get rabid and start posting hate mail. I just want to say “This isn’t about you. It is about families with only one child.” I use this as an example because I recently read an article called “What NOT to say to a parent with one child.” I thought it was a very well written article about how rude people can be to parents with only one child or only children –  but oh the mean-spirited comments. What is wrong with people? Like I said “It isn’t about YOU.”

Same goes with large families – don’t go after good mom’s with lots of kids. Big families are fun. Little families are fun. All good parents have fun families. It doesn’t matter how many kids you have (or don’t have) as long as it works for you. Now cats are another matter…but that’s another blog posting.

Then there are the young vs old moms. Give me a f***ing break, it doesn’t matter how old you were when you gave birth. Nobody cares as long as you’re a good parent. Just shut the F up about it. Our kids don’t need to hear it. Of course being a Vampire, most of us ARE MUCH older when we start our families (I was 135). But this all applies to ALL parents not just those of us who are a little different (and don’t get me started on the Werewolf mom’s – they need all the support they can get).

Just like articles about being happy and single. I was happy when I was single and remember people who worried about my state of singleness. Now I’m married and happy. But I have friends who are single and happy and I’m happy for them. Don’t marry some ill suited bore or someone you don’t connect with because society says you have to be married. Screw society. I’m happy for you – so you be happy for you too!

Nobody should ever give in to the pressures of society to be something they ARE NOT.

 

Don’t have kids because your mother-in-law demands a grandchild. Don’t have children because your friends are pressuring you. Don’t have them because you think he’ll stay with you (the worst reason of all). Have children because you want to be a parent (with all the good and bad that involves). If you don’t want them – don’t have them and don’t let anyone pressure you into it.

  • Not everyone wants to have kids or should have kids
  • Not everyone wants to be married.
  • Not everyone wants to be single.
  • Not everyone wants to do what everyone else is doing.

I have the attention span of a gnat (ask my husband and close friends) but I will always try to see differing opinions and know that ALL FAMILIES ARE DIFFERENT.

When my children were small and starting school that was something I told them over and over and over. ALL FAMILIES ARE DIFFERENT.

A family can be people related to each other. It can be a mom and a dad and a child, it can be two moms or two dads, it can be a group of single friends with no children, it can be grandparents living with their children and grandchildren and aunts and uncles. It can be anything you want it to be. Family is a group of people who love each other and care for each other. It can be a group of two or a group of twenty. It’s your family. We’re all different.

Let’s say it again…all together…ALL FAMILIES ARE DIFFERENT. As long as there is love and caring and joy it’s all good and reason to celebrate.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

In case you missed it…

Some things are better the second time around. In case you missed some of these more memorable posts…here you go.

Parenting

Fatherhood

Vampire Stories

Just for Fun

Poetry

Sleep

Becoming a Vampire Dad – what it means to really be alive.

Teddy is downstairs helping the kids with their homework.

When he became a Vampire in 1875 he thought his life was over. OK, let me explain…life does not stop when one becomes a Vampire.  You aren’t dead (maybe for a brief moment) or undead (which is alive so why in heaven’s name do people act like undead is creepy).

I was born a Vampire so I’ve always been “alive” and fail to see why regular humans have built so many myths around us. Just seems odd.

So back to our story…When Teddy, my husband, became a Vampire, or in his case was turned into a Vampire against his will and without his knowledge, he was crushed. His life was over. He DID think he was dead along with all of his hopes and dreams. At the time he was engaged to be married with dreams of family and children and nights by the hearth in the arms of those he loved.

What he found was a Victorian nightmare and a race of people who needed to drink human blood to survive. Think about it – I mean, if you aren’t part of the community it really sounds bad.

But eventually he discovered that he could have a family and children, when the time was right, with the right person – with the right Vampire.

I know I’ve mused about fatherhood but when I see him with our children my heart becomes warm and beats with passion, no matter who’s blood is running in my veins.

There are all different kinds of families – that is what we teach our children. Ours just happens to be a Vampire family.

 

Juliette

 

Challenges of Vampire Parenting

Parenting is never easy but with vampires we have our own set of challenges.

We don’t let our kids walk around with snot crusted on their little noses. We don’t let them whine or act like brats or pull one over on us. We can’t afford to do that. We don’t have that selfish luxury or immature lame excuses. Keeping quiet and keeping smart is the key to our survival.

  • At an early age our children learn that tantrums are unacceptable.
  • Selfishness is unacceptable.
  • Self-centered behavior that is not in survival mode is unacceptable.
  • Rudeness is unacceptable.
  • Self control is gold.
  • We teach our children that NO they cannot be the master of who their friends are. We MUST ALWAYS know who their friends are. If we do not approve of those friends or their parents then it is OVER.
  • That might sound harsh to some regular humans but in order to protect our children it is a MUST.
  • What we do is encourage creativity, humor, independence, loyalty, acceptance, bravery, maturity,
  • As a hunter you can’t be selfish or your prey will die.
  • If you are immature you will starve or be eaten.
  • If you throw fits or expect special treatment you will be found out and burned.

Nobody ever said being a vampire was easy…actually, if you’re good, fair, loyal and smart it is easy.

 

Vampire Parents: What are your biggest worries about your vampire teen? Tell us.

What are your biggest worries about your vampire teen? Our concerns as Vampire parents are indeed unique. Share what you think in the poll or feel free to write your own comments. I believe you can click up to three answers if you like.

 

Thank you for visiting Vampire Maman. Please follow me here on WordPress for more parenting news and fun.

 

~ Juliette

Juliette’s Ultimate Parenting Musing (for both Vampires and Other Parents)

I’m an artist to the core of my soul.  I’m a curious collector of oddities (both objects, experiences and people). I read. I discover. I write. I design. I act. I live as I wish (well, I pretend I do). And I use the word “I” a lot, or at least I used to.

Then I met a remarkable man who thought I was funny and a bit odd and a lot sexy and smart and ….I liked him a lot too because he was smart and sexy.

And that would have been fine to have stayed that way…

Until we had a child.

I never knew I could love as much as this. Both the man and the child. I never knew we could love as much.

I never knew what an amazing journey parenthood would be.

When you bring a baby or child home, whether you give birth to it or adopt it or foster or live with any child, you bring home the entire universe in a kid sized package. And something you’re never told…You NEVER know who you’re bringing home with you.

Your child is not your clone. Your child is someone with their own will and their own view – right from the start.

Throw out the baby and child care books because this little person is going to prove they’re ALL WRONG. And you’ll have more fun than you EVER imagined.

So what does a woman who muses on mom stuff teach the children in her life? 

  • Teach your children, no matter who your children are, or will become, to treasure acts of kindness.
  • Teach them that if they speak rudely to another child, they will forget it in a minute, and the other child will remember it for a lifetime.
  • Teach them the value of life and the value of love.
  • Teach them not to lie. Lies are worse than snakes – they always come back and bite you in the butt and they contain poison.
  • Teach them to learn from their mistakes.
  • Teach them to learn from the mistakes of others (if more people did that there WOULD be world peace).
  • Teach them that they ARE going to make mistakes – big ones – and that you’re always there for them (you’d better be there for them).
  • Teach them to be tough. Tough mentally and physically. We’re not living in la la land folks.
  • Tech them to love learning. Learning is a lifelong process. Like my dad used to say “If you stop learning you might as well be dead.” 
  • Teach them to play, and to keep playing even as adults.
  • Teach them to love and respect nature for it will always be a joy and they will always be amazed.
  • Teach them that it is their responsibility to take care of their environment.
  • Teach them that ignorance is a vice and knowledge is a virtue. Knowledge is power.
  • Teach them the value of friendship. Friendship is not a contest. Friendship is a lazy ride on a raft down the river. You laugh, you rescue each other, you talk until the stars come out, and you remember that trip forever, not expecting anything but to be able to be yourself, without judgement, and to not have the pressure of  judging your friend.
  • Teach them life without a sense of humor is, well, a humorless life. Who needs that?
  • Teach them to tell someone else something good about themselves every single day and MEAN IT. While your at it don’t forget hugs.
  • Teach them to smile (but don’t show your fangs). Smile a lot.
  • Teach them to pay if forward.
  • Teach them that their opinions are valued.
  • Teach them to have an active imagination – especially as they grow older.
  • Teach them that READING will take them everywhere. People who read are interesting. People who don’t…well, we won’t talk about them.
  • Teach them that people who aren’t like them are interesting. If we were all the same the world would be a very boring place.
  • And last of all teach them that they are ultimately responsible for their own actions and the consequences. Period. No exceptions. None. That’s it. 

Hugs and thanks for visiting. Don’t forget to FOLLOW the Vampire Maman BLOG for more exciting Vampire Fun (among other things). Click on “like” if you like it.

It’s going to be an exciting summer! And let me know what you’re up to! I’d love to see what you’re doing/thinking/creating/imagining too!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman