The radio was on and we listened to a story on NPR about a woman who killed rats to see if they “saw the light” when they died. She said when things died their brains just showed light and memories of life because of a reaction in body chemistry or whatever. She said it was due to the brain shutting down and having a burst of energy. She was quite analytical and unemotional about her findings. It was so cold and unfeeling and horrible – because I know that isn’t what is happening.
Think about it. What about someone who dies slowly compared to someone who is beheaded? I know that is pretty disgusting but it happens. All death isn’t the same.
My friend Kelly, a Regular Human friend, my best Regular friend and neighbor was listening with me. She was the other half of the “we” who were listening.
Kelly had this to say. “I’m not religious, but that has nothing to do with what I feel or more so what I know. I’ve had several people close to me die young and unexpected. Each time I knew they were dead before I was told. These deaths happened out of the blue but I knew. That isn’t their neurons charging. That is them telling me or some sort of connection being broken between two souls. You can’t explain everything. Some things can’t be tested or explained. Love and death can’t be explained away.
When my dad was dying, in the last hour, I knew someone was outside waiting for him. I knew who it was. It was his best friend who’d died years before. I knew he was out there. It wasn’t my dad’s family. It was the friend he’d had the most fun with. I didn’t see the friend with my eyes but I saw him in my mind down to the smallest details. I knew what he was wearing and that he was waiting and pacing. And he knew that I knew that he was there. We both knew that it would be fine. Don’t try to explain it to me or have me explain it to you.
Then on, I think Sunday I heard something on Radiolab about a guy who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and survived. Only 62 or 63 jumpers out of over a thousand have survived. And everyone who jumped said they changed their minds after they jumped. This guy talked about changing his mind as soon as his hands left the rail. I can’t get that out of my head. Life is more than just a bunch of cells and cell reactions. It is so much more.”
“You’ve never spoken of this before,” I said. “Not like you are now.”
Kelly sighed and glanced over at me. “It isn’t something I usually talk about. Just like people who see ghosts. People who see ghosts don’t tell anyone. It is only the fakes who write the books and make the con and shout look at me I’ve seen a ghost. People who see ghosts keep it quiet. And if you tell anyone they’ll think you’re crazy.”
“Have you seen any ghosts?” I asked her, wondering now if she would admit it.
“No,” she answered without anymore detail.
I looked out over her deck and in the woods behind our houses I saw the ghost standing there looking at me. I expected him to flip me off or make some rude comment like he usually does but he just stood and stared at me like he wanted me to say something, but I didn’t know what to say, then he vanished. I then realized that, even though she couldn’t see him, that he was there for her.
“I agree with you,” I said. “We aren’t just a bundle of neurons and body parts and chemicals. That is a lot of it but…I know what you say is true.”
I didn’t come clean and tell Kelly about the ghost in the woods or the fact that I’m a Vampire, not yet. But that’s ok. We all need our secrets and just like the universe we don’t give them up easily.
No matter what happens, I feel that the love and spirit we share will always live on. And no matter if you’re a Human, a Ghost or a Vampire, you’re never alone.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman