When you’re a Vampire, especially a Vampire mom you appreciate places that are open all night. That includes Wally World (Wal-Mart.) Yes, I know I’m supposed to be a wearing black lace and black pearls 24/7 but the reality is that I’m going to be in jeans and a tee-shirt.
One night, close to Halloween, back when my kids were babies I was out at 1:00 am, early for a Vampire but late for everyone else. You always need something when you have small children.
So Garrett (now 17) is an active 3 year old running up and down the aisle singing at the top of his lungs “I wanna be sedated.” Yes, the Ramones. I’m holding baby Clara over one hip. She is laughing and howling like a Banshee. I have baby spit all over my shoulders. Garrett gets on the ground and starts to roll around, still singing. I’m looking for what I’m looking for.
Then a woman, a stranger I’ve never seen before, walks up to me and says “You need to take parenting classes.”
I looked at her and said “They’re just little children.” And before she could get out another condescending word I showed her my fangs and growled at her. Oh the cold fear that went through her soul. She froze and I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d passed out or peed her pants or barfed. I didn’t wait to find out.
So, Clara and I were back at Wal-Mart to find some bits for a Halloween costume and I remembered I was supposed to bring a treat for the party. And there, like the Holy Grail of Sugar Rushes was a HUGE display of Twinkies.
I don’t eat the things – I’d go into a sugar coma, BUT everybody who isn’t a Vampire loves them.
We giggled all the way through the store (almost as much at the night we almost bought a BB gun).
After a fun Lucy and Ethyl moment we finished our TWEENKIE GHOSTS.
No, I don’t know how they taste and I will never know but I’m sure they’ll be a big hit!
Vampire Maman 
I’d rather have the kids running up and down the aisles singing rather than the ones who run up and down the aisles knocking stuff onto the floor, much to their parents’ amusement/apathy. Actually, I’m kinda glad the Wally World I work at isn’t open all night… 🙂
If they’re singing and happy their moms shop longer. Yep, at 2 am you get to see some pretty interesting people.
Twinkie ghosts ??? I thought you didn’t like ghosts ! 🙂
Eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog …
J, is this one of your shopping lists again???
Those are witch items. I’m the one picking up batteries and bird seed and red lipstick.
Ghosts are fine if they’re made out of food.