Burning Question #29: Fortune Cookie

Only Thirty-one Burning Questions to go in the Fifty Burning Questions Festival.

When I was a child I used to absolutely love going to China Town in San Francisco. Yes, I was a tiny shy white child with wide eyes taking it all in. I thought it was the most wonderful place ever.


Fortune Cookies have a long and colorful history. Look it up on Wikipedia. They started out as Japanese cookies. During the Japanese internment during WW2 the crazy little cookies started to show up in Chinese restaurants.


Once in the 1970’s a friend of mine gave me a “dirty” fortune cookie. The fortune read: Girl chase boy around church and catch him by organ.

fortune cookie

For centuries people have been looking for ways to see their futures. They’ve thrown bones, looked into crystal balls, gone to charlatan psychics, read tarot cards, and done all kinds of weird stuff. But the sweetest of all, and the most fun is the Fortune Cookie.

So is it just a chance encounter with a random slip of paper, or is there another more celestial meaning?

Burning Question #29: What is it to open a cookie without a fortune? A simple machine error? Or a profound statement of the uncertainty of the future?



A favorite game is to have everyone read their fortunes and add the words in bed after the fact.

  • Success will come to your plans in bed.
  • Use your abilities at this time to stay focused on your goals in bed.
  • You will always be well liked and popular in bed.

Anyway you fold it, fortune cookies are both fun and maybe profound.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman



San Francisco 1877

Burning Question #14: The Pineapple Dilemma


It is time for #14 of 50 Burning Questions. Happy Saturday. Now get ready for an emotional roller coaster.

Today I submit one of the most divisive burning questions in the history of the universe.

Traditional Italian vs Hawaiian. No this has nothing to do with soccer or volcanos. It has everything to do with PIZZA. 



Burning Question #14: Should Pineapple Be Allowed On Pizza?



I hope I haven’t caused any riots. Please, listen to Israel sing. It will make you feel happy, even a world where a simple pizza topping can tear families and friendships apart.

In the meantime please feel free to leave comments. Let me know what your favorite pizza toppings are, where you favorite pizza joint is, or anything else you need to say.


I’ll see you next Saturday for Burning Question #15.

Oh, and by the way you can get your pineapple coconut and Thai tea ice cream at Gunther’s in Sacramento, CA. They make their own ice cream. Loads of flavors. Gunther’s has been there since 1940 – they know what they’re doing. To make it even better Gunther’s is fairly close to the Old Sacramento City Cemetery AND the Sacramento Zoo so you can make a day of it. 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Burning Question #1

I want answers.

I have questions for the ages.

These questions are important.

Today I will ask the first of 50 BURNING QUESTIONS.

YOU will provide the answer. YES YOU. I’ve got a poll below. Don’t just say you like this post. Answer the poll question.

Please comment as well if you want. I encourage it.


Is a hotdog a sandwich?

This includes hotdogs, weenies, brats, and sausages served on buns or rolls where the top and the bottom of the said bun/roll are attached on one side. You know what I’m talking about.



~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Open All Night

When you’re a Vampire, especially a Vampire mom you appreciate places that are open all night. That includes Wally World (Wal-Mart.) Yes, I know I’m supposed to be a wearing black lace and black pearls 24/7 but the reality is that I’m going to be in jeans and a tee-shirt.

One night, close to Halloween, back when my kids were babies I was out at 1:00 am, early for a Vampire but late for everyone else. You always need something when you have small children.

So Garrett (now 17) is an active 3 year old running up and down the aisle singing at the top of his lungs “I wanna be sedated.” Yes, the Ramones. I’m holding baby Clara over one hip. She is laughing and howling like a Banshee.  I have baby spit all over my shoulders. Garrett gets on the ground and starts to roll around, still singing. I’m looking for what I’m looking for.

Then a woman, a stranger I’ve never seen before, walks up to me and says “You need to take parenting classes.”

I looked at her and said “They’re just little children.” And before she could get out another condescending word I showed her my fangs and growled at her. Oh the cold fear that went through her soul. She froze and I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d passed out or peed her pants or barfed. I didn’t wait to find out.

So, Clara and I were back at Wal-Mart to find some bits for a Halloween costume and I remembered I was supposed to bring a treat for the party. And there, like the Holy Grail of Sugar Rushes was a HUGE display of Twinkies.

I don’t eat the things – I’d go into a sugar coma, BUT everybody who isn’t a Vampire loves them.

We giggled all the way through the store (almost as much at the night we almost bought a BB gun).

After a fun Lucy and Ethyl moment we finished our TWEENKIE GHOSTS.

No, I don’t know how they taste and I will never know but I’m sure they’ll be a big hit!