I only received one question this week for Dear Juliette – Ask a Vampire (Advice for Everyone.)
Either everyone was questioned out last week, or all of your lives are perfect, your relationships rock, your kids are awesome, and you didn’t look into the midnight sky and wonder about anything this week.
So this week I’m answering my ONE question. I’m also giving advice to my brother because I don’t like his girlfriend.
Do you know Dr. Jekell or Mr. Hyde?
I’ve read the novella. I’ve seen the movies. Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde are fictional characters representing good and evil within the same man.
Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was written by the brilliant Scottish author Robert Louis Stevenson. It was first published in 1886 (a year before Jack the Ripper’s first recorded killing.)
The caracter of Dr. Jekyll has now been added to the cast of Penny Dreadful (more fun for everyone.)
Anyway, it is an excellent story. You should read it. Read it today. You’ll thank me for it later.
Valentine, this is your sister Juliette. I need to talk to you about your girlfriend. I’ll call her FeFe to protect your privacy.
You tell me that she is jealous of your circle of friends. You say it is kind of cute. It isn’t cute. IT IS NOT CUTE. Don’t let your dick tell you otherwise.
These are the friends you meet with a couple times a week for drinks after work, or on Saturday nights. These are the friends you go to movies with. These are the friends who even feed you. In fact they are your main source of food because if you don’t get blood from them, you get blood from people around them. They are the people you can count on to make you smile, to bring you up, to have smart conversations with, and to make you feel good. You care about them too. You have a history that goes back years.
FeFe doesn’t like them. She doesn’t like the fact that you always hug and kiss the other women. FeFe thinks you should find food somewhere else like at a hospital where nobody is attractive. FeFe thinks the guys in your group are annoying. FeFe doesn’t like the fact that you are friends with people who aren’t undead.
FeFe is also stalking the women in your group on social media AND she knows where they live. The practically drained one of the guys in your group of blood just to prove a point – so she said. She put him in the hospital. That is totally unacceptable.
She also talks trash to about your friends, and in her own cute little way talks crap about everyone we know.
FeFe wants you all to herself. She wants a guy who lives in a dark house, sleeps in a coffin, and stalks his food. That isn’t you.
I love you. I love your friends. I don’t care how cute FeFe is. I don’t care if she is a darling Manic Pixie Dream Girl who charms the pants off of you. See through the cuteness and dump her before she finally pulls you apart from every friend you have (both Human and Vampire.)
If you want cute then come over to my house. I have two exceptionally cute cats and a puppy. I also have a teenager. Teens are toxic cute in so many ways. I’m cute.
I realize that won’t solve your romantic woes but this Vampire chick is bad news. By the way, she asked me if I knew the password to your email account. Go suck on that.
Ask Juliette (Ask a Vampire – Advice for Everyone) is a regular Thursday, and sometimes Friday feature here at Vampire Maman.
If you have any questions about parenting, relationships, life, love, dogs, cats, paranormal stuff, Vampires, Ghosts, politics, lemons, or anything else just ask. I’ll answer any question.
Send your questions to juliettevampiremom @ gmail.com (I put in extra spaces to keep trolls away. Figure it out.)
Have fun. Be smart. Stay curious. Thanks for dropping by.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman